Yes, a big shout out to Argos, for their frankly STUNNING online ordering and customer service!
Argos, I hail thee, you are my heroes.
Ladies and gentlemen, if ever there was a shining beacon of insufferable incompetence, Argos is it.
Their whole home delivery system is so god-awful that we really should stop using troops out in Iraq. Just get Argos to head up the rebuilding and pretty soon every insurgent will have turned his AK47 on himself as he gazes in despair at the sheer stupidity of Argos.
Back at the start of July I wanted to order a desk, two in fact.
I rang up and was told that the desks in question were reduced for their sale, so being a half-price bargain I went for three of them. I was then told that home delivery would call to arrange delivery.
A week went by so I called them and was then told that the desks were out of stock. So instead of a 2 day delivery it would now be THREE weeks.
Fine, I'll wait.
Come the week of expected delivery and no call, so I call again to be told that home delivery will be in touch... sounds familiar...
Home delivery did get in touch, with a letter telling me that the items were out of stock (I knew this already) and that they would deliver them by August 19th!!! Bloody hell!
Anyways, I called again as this week I wanted to make sure my order was still going ahead and I had seen some other suitable desks elsewhere... yep, someone will in touch by August 19th to arrange a delivery... So that's different again.
You know, I'm stating to think those phone people have a list of barefaced lies to tell you and just cross them off as they work down the page...
Right, let's leave my desks out of it and focus on three other items I wanted to order, which also happens to be a desk set-up.
This one is different though that it's a corner desk that needs you to also order something to go at each end to support the desk.
So I order up the desk and two cupboards to go at each end.
Ah, it's all out of stock. Damn.
A day later I get an email, the desk is on stock! Order, order, order!
Later that same day, the cupboards are back in stock! Order, order, order!
Excellent... I now have a corner desk and cupboard support thingies on the way and they'll be delivered in two days.
No, they won't.
You see, seeing as I'd ordered them separately but on the same day, they would arrive as two separate deliveries. The desk should be coming on Thursday 2nd with the cupboards following the next day.
That's fine, I'll leave it to the weekend to put it all together anyway.
But, alas, I didn't get to the door in the pico second the guy rang the bell yesterday, so I missed the delivery. I even ran into the street shouting after the van but no luck, the bugger didn't stop.
That's ok though, it'll automatically be re-arranged for Friday 3rd, coincidentally the day the cupboards will be arriving.... says the Argos trained liar at customer services when I called them.
So today up rolls the van and the guy walks up with his PDA for me to sign.
I meet him halfway down the drive and he hands me one parcel, obviously one of the cupboards.
I take this into the house and turn around to go get the other bits... to my amazement the guy has climbed back in his van and driven off!
Where's the desk?
Where's the other bloody cupboard?
So I get straight on the phone to Argits... sorry, Aggro... sorry, ARGOS..
They say they'll find out what's going on, would I mind holding? Yeah, sure love, I don't mind hanging on whilst you line up the next lot of blatant lies...
But I have to say, her response to what was going on was so unbelievable it has to be true.
It seems that the company that makes the stuff I wanted has gone bust, so they can't get any more stock. Yet they are still delivering part components to people, even though they cannot fulfil complete orders!
Here's a rough transcript of my convo with them...
Me: So what am I to do with a desk support and no desk?
Er, we can refund it back to your account once we've collected it.
Me:And what was it that you tried to deliver yesterday?
The desk, but you weren't in.
Me:So why wasn't that delivered today?
It was reallocated to another delivery.
Me:Sorry, you gave the desk I paid for to someone else?
Er, no, it was re-allocated.
Me:Allocated where?
I don't know... Would you like a refund on the undelivered items?
Me:Well actually, I'd like a refund on ALL the items cos this cupboard is no bloody good without the desk, is it?
Well we can't give you a refund on that until we've collected it from you... so I can arrange collection for Monday.
Me:What if I'm working Monday?
Well we'll just keep trying to collect until you're in.
Me:And I don't get my money back for this useless bit of furniture until then?
No.
Me:That's just frigging brilliant really, isn't it?
....
Me:Hello?
Well what do you want me to say, Mr Haywood?
Me:Well a bloody sorry might have been nice but seeing as I've now had to ask for that it's going to ring hollow really isn't it? Just get the pick-up booked and be aware that if it ISN'T collected on Monday I'll be leaving it outside in the street for you to pick up at your leisure.
So there you have it Argos are the king at making life difficult! All bow down to thee, Argos... you useless bunch of utter ****s.