[Big Leon]

Morning all,
A friend sent me these this morning and they really cheered me up so I thought I'd share:

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

"I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand." (Genius TBH)

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

Hope they help,
Leon

/disclaimer - if you don't find these funny please refrain from posting comments such 'OMG I want two mins of my life back", just calmly step away from the thread..