Dunking biscuits vs dry

[Bob Crabtree]

During elevensies on Wednesday, I started thinking about TBDD - The Biscuit Dunking Dilemma.

What I was mulling over was:

Which biscuits should be dunked and which shouldn't?

I won't cover here the contentious topic of which drink is best for dunking in - tea or coffee (or even Horlicks) - but, instead, leave that for another day.

On the biscuit front, though, I came to the inescapable conclusion that there definitely are some sorts that are perfect for dunking and others that are utterly spoilt by it.

Examples?

Well, let's start with your no-frills/no-chocolate digestive. McVitie's, for preference.

Can anyone disagree with me that the ONLY way to eat this biscuit (other than as the base for a cheesecake) is wet?

Personally - and this really is true - I have NEVER once enjoyed eating a digestive biscuit dry.

I understand, though, that there are some culinary perverts who'd put cheese on digestives (and then, presumably and hopefully, eat them without dunking them).

Dwelling on perversions - and secret to tell - my wife has been known to dunk toasted cheese sandwiches. I think it's a cultural thing but have never really like to ask (or, indeed, watch).

But, returning to the main topic...

...on the other hand, a McVitie's Milk Chocolate Digestive can, in my view, be enjoyed almost as much dry as wet - but wet does still have the edge (albeit rather a soggy one).

And that, perhaps, makes it all the more mysterious why I'd argue that the Plain Chocolate variety should NEVER, EVER be dunked.

The only way to eat it, in my far from humble opinion, is after it's been broken into four - not necessarily with any great precision or symmetry - into a bowl.

Naturally, you need to break a bunch of them in there, what with each piece being so tiny and not even a mouthful.

Having got that trio of siblings mentally sorted (not that I really ever had any doubts), I began classifying the other goodies that are to be found in the HEBB (HEXUS.east biscuit barrel).

First up (though not actually as regular a resident as its peerless flavour deserves) was the fig roll.

There's a bunch of fig-roll brands out there, most notably Jacobs, but over the years I've gravitated to the moist and rather wonderful own-brand offering from Sainsbury's.

But - and explaining the fig roll's all-too-infrequent presence in the HEBB - the weekly shop these days is usually done at Tesco and TFC (Turkish Food Centre). A visit to a Sainsbury store - none of which is terribly close to base - usually only happens when a trio of must-buy JS own-branders are all needed (the other two also being rather-longer-lasting - Hot n Spice Pickled Shallots [truly magnificent] and tinnned petit pois).

I'd fight any man who disagrees with me that a Fig Roll should not be dunked. Assuming that is, the man in question is smaller than me, has his hands tied behind his back and isn't a renowned kick-boxer or Glasgow-kissing specialist.

Every now and then, though, I forget, especially if someone's not put the opened fig roll packet into a sealed plastic bag, causing them to dry out. But I always regret it afterwards.

On now to Rich Tea biscuits - rounds and fingers (own-brand or big-brand seeming equally okay to me). Again, not something I've ever found worth putting in my mouth dry but with a perfection all of their own post dunking.

Custard Creams (again, a number of own-brands seem remarkably edible) - at one point I'd have argued fiercely against any attempt to eat dry but I've somewhat mellowed on that now.

I'd have been even more unyielding over Bourbon Creams but, once more, I seem to be on a sort of cusp and am now almost favouring dry. Oh, and again, I've been surprised by how good some of the own-brand offerings can be.

Fancy stuff - don't go in for a lot of it (but when I do, I go in for a lot of it) but tend to find that biscuits supposedly aimed at connoisseurs are better dry, whether or not they be chocolate coated.

One obvious exception (but RIP, sadly) would be the Barmouth.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough for now and think it's YOUR turn with TBDD.

[TeePee]

This is an international phenomenon.

In the US, land of the moon pie, the biscuit situation is slightly more critical. While our American friends would argue that a biscuit is a savory food item, served with cold meats, etc, and that what I desire is called a cookie, I steadfastly refuse to use said americanism.

Your classic american biscuit is the Oreo, which in status could probably be compared to the chocolate digestive. It represents everything we all know and love about america, especially the 'double stuf'(sic), extra fat variety. You also get chocolate cream, chocolate coated, golden, peanut butter filled, mint cream, and four or five other types all guarenteed to cause heart disease by your early 30's. I don't consider the Oreo, in any variety to be a dunkable biscuit.

'Soft batch' biscuits seam to be popular as well, basically what I would call 'undercooked' and again come in every variety possible, any way that it can be fudge-striped, mallow-filled or white chocolated it will be, with added nuts. Some are dunkable, but your tea will absorb sugar, fake vanilla flavouring and end up with a slick of melting mallow floating on the top.

This brings me to the King of biscuits, the Oatmeal Creame Pie (sic). Imagine two slabs of oatmeal buscuits the size of saucers, glued together with half a pint of sugary biscuit-cream. Truely a challenge for even the most gargantuan-gutted. Is it dunkable? Do you have a cup big enough? The only thing we can be sure of is that that much oatmeal can't be good!

[Lee @ SCAN]

What really gets me though when you use certain biscuits is their ability to go from a hard item, to a semi-viscious gloop of hydrogenated vegatable fats, sugars and oats in the time it takes to dip them slightly into your coffee for less than 1 second.

Then you have to sit there, pretending it doesn't bother you and then when you get to near the bottom of the cup you have to try to put on a brave face and ignore it.

Pah - give me some hobnobs anyday. Hob-Nob's are the marines of the biscuit dunking world, this has been seen by nearly everyone including comedians, it's just a shame you seem to miss 1/2 a cup of coffee by dunking these.

[Koolpc]

I can't have a cuppa without having a dunk!

[Rys]

Originally Posted by Lee @ SCAN

Pah - give me some hobnobs anyday. Hob-Nob's are the marines of the biscuit dunking world, this has been seen by nearly everyone including comedians, it's just a shame you seem to miss 1/2 a cup of coffee by dunking these.

Yes.

More absorbent than a pack of heavy flow Tampax and the utter winner of the biscuit world. Lee, I salute you.

[Steven W]

I can't dunk chocolate biscuits, yuck, there's nothing worse than soggy chocolate.

I prefer a Rich Tea.

[BEANFro Elite]

I think Fox's Premiers are the shizzle with Ovaltine!

I dunk buiscuits sometimes but not all the time, I like to keep the sludge to a minimum in my hot milky beverages

Fox's range of buiscuits are all on the pricey side but they're all generally are killer with hot chocolate.

[pr0p4g4nd4]

I'd only dunk hobnobs, rich tea or digestives. It just takes a while to get the timing right. I like the biscuit as slushy as possible, but if I dunk it for too long it sometimes ends up disintergrating and leaving a nasty sediment at the bottom of my mug!

[johnny02004976]

you cant beat a rich tea for a dunk

[Bob Crabtree]

Originally Posted by Lee @ SCAN

Hob-Nob's are the marines of the biscuit dunking world

ROFL

[Bob Crabtree]

Originally Posted by Rys

Yes.

More absorbent than a pack of heavy flow Tampax and the utter winner of the biscuit world. Lee, I salute you.

Barst!

I think I might have done my pants in!

[Steve A]

Im a big fan of custard cream and bourbon dunking tbh



although Hob-Nobs are my favs ..

[Norky]

Caramel digestives dunked briefly in coffee is heavenly

[Lee @ SCAN]

Best at the moment I've found is the following combination ;

Kenco coffee - fresh not this freeze-dried stuff with Maxiland cookies - the chocolate fudge brownie versions or the Hazlenut version.

I tend to go through 2 packs when playing oblivion

[Moby-Dick]

ultimate dry biscuit - Caramel Digestives , kept in the fridge so that caramel is hard.


Dare you to eat just one !

[Bob Crabtree]

I have, this day, bought a packet of HobNobs.

I shall report back.

Oh, and judging by this price list, biscuit lovers would do well not to emigrate to the USA:
http://www.ukgoods.com/biscuits-mcvities-c-33_52.html