The REAL ending to The Empire Strikes Back

[starbuck]

Just came across this when sorting out one of my hard drives. Made me laugh so I thought I'd post it(prob been posted before)

The end of the Empire Strikes Back is to be rewritten to fit in with the new trilogy. The new ending is as follows:

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

(A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE
SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops
off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke
backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.)

Darth Vader : Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke : He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader : No, Luke... I am your father!
Luke : No! It's not true! It's impossible.
Darth Vader : Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
Luke : NO!
Darth Vader : Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke : Threepio?
Darth Vader : Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was only 7 years old...
Luke : No...
Darth Vader : Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at
yourself, no lightsaber, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...
Luke : I destroyed your precious Death Star!
Darth Vader : When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly
destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
Luke : Well, it's not my fault...
Darth Vader : Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me
what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
Luke : Shut up...
Darth Vader : You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
exterminated the Jedi knights!
Luke : I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!
Darth Vader : Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!
Darth Vader : And by your age I'd gotten my girlfriend pregnant... older woman too, and ex queen. And you?? WTF you want to bone your sister?? you're one sicko kid!
(Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.)
Darth Vader : I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose
you are, but you sure ain't mine...
(Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down
the shaft... Darth Vader looks after him.)
Darth Vader : Get a haircut

[jimbouk]

ROFL nice!

[Funkstar]

excellent! might be old, but i've not seen it before

[Stoo]

it's an oldie, but a goodie (but thankfully not a Jade - had to get the in before Clunk turns up.. )

[JimmyBoy]

hehe had me chuckling!!!

[Alex]

Get a haircut. Brilliant.

[vrykyl]

hahaha loved it - thanks for posting, I hadnt seen it before

[awm]

It could fit in as an outtake from Space Balls (If you haven't heard of the movie its a Star Wars parody you NEED to see).

[[GSV]Trig]

lol never actually seen that b4...