Women

[DataMatrix]

First of all. I've never been really good with women, they confuse me, they're much more complex than when you talk to a fellow man.

Secondly. I have no experience with women, I don't know what to say, I don't know when to say it or how.

So anyway, there is this girl, I've said to her we should get together and go somewhere sometime (we know each other but not for a long time which I've been told is a good time to ask so you don't get "just be friends"). She said "Yeah, we should go bowling or something and get to know each other some more". Well, I asked her about this yesterday and she never answered me, we were talking but she never answered my question and when I said "If you want to go bowling or watch a movie or something just lemme know" so she said OK.

She seems sort of hesitant, maybe she wants to but I'm asking the wrong stuff? I don't know how to approach her and impress her or anything.

Any advice on how I should proceed is greatly appreciated

[Theo]

Bit of a tip for future reference - "...or something just lemme know" is quite indecisive and while it may have sounded okay to you, clearly indicates your lack of confidence. She may not have even taken that as a proposal of any sort, due to how open ended it was. Did you want to go bowling, or did you want to go to the cinema? When did you want to go? Did you want other people to go with you?

Be precise and to the point - be sure to make your question sound like a question. Your chance of receiving an answer will increase tenfold.

-edit

And regarding women being confusing - yep, but only if you don't know them.

[acrobat]

Yeah life is 50 times easier when you are just straight right from the start. "Soooo..... Do you want to go bowling?". Then she can say yes or no and there isn't any lameness. Its worth it. Because that lameness can ruin age 15-25 odd. Or more.

Its sometimes easier said than done though. You save yourself a lot of stress though if you can do it. Not to mention the fact that, in my vast experience of women (), 99% of them love a confident lad. Don't be a nob about it, but if you are confident, they seem to be much more drawn to you. And an awkward lad can send them running.

[Duke]

Good god man you can't be this dumb and blind can you? Not really a dig at you but it's sooooo obvious she wants you to make the move mate. She wants you to show you got balls (well.....not literally ) just go up and say: (choose one of the answers)
Would you like to:
a) go bowling and a meal
b) go to the cinema and a meal
c) make passionate love all night long followed by a breakfast in bed.
d) do "all of the above not necessarily in that order".

To sum it up, check if you have balls (as you obviously talk to her and she likes you) and ask her out.

Sorry if I cam a bit strong and arrogant, I have similar problem with women but this just screams: she likes you and wants to go out with you but you have to make the move.

[icanhazburger]

Just remember the golden rule, nothing says I love you like a restraining order, cant go wrong there son, go forth and multiply!

[Brucelles]

Just want to reaffirm the importance of confidence. My daughter just dumped her boyfriend of 8 months because he wouldn't speak up for himself. He always deferred to her. If she asked "Shall we go to the Cherry Tree?" he would answer "Yes ,if you like" which is OK. but if she asked "What shall we do?" He would always reply "What do you want to do?"

He was a lovely bloke, but is now consigned to the dustbin of history because he couldn't take charge. If she doesn't fancy you you have nothing to lose, as she's not going to date you anyway. If she does, you need to get it right in order to convince her to give you a try.

So, do as the guys suggest. Plan an evening (Bowling and dinner, bowling and a beer or two, whatever) and then propose it to her.

If she accepts just remember that, while women are difficult to get at times, (like while they are alive) they are still human and enjoy talking about the things that blokes do (with the exceptions of body parts and processes, mechanics and engineering (generally), football and sex). Try to talk about what interests you (excepting the above) rather than forcing yourself to try to talk about some subject you think will interest her. If she is interested she will respond just like another human would, by showing interest, if she's not you'll work that out soon enough and should then try another topic.

BTW. Girls like a man with a sense of humour, but that doesn't mean telling her a constant stream of jokes. Be witty if you can, but you are not Bernard Manning.

[tiggerai]

Don't worry hun, Women confuse me and I am one.

and i've just got to say "Awww bless" here too.

As the guys say, make the first move, there's nothing better than a man who's confident in themselves. (This also works for Girls too I find!)

Take her bowling, let her win (A few strategic gutterballs should do the trick, unless she's a league bowler, in which case this should be easy!) and keep the chat going! Think of a few things you'd like to know about her to strike up conversation. Awkward silences are not sexy.

[Lee @ SCAN]

Originally Posted by icanhazburger

Just remember the golden rule, nothing says I love you like a restraining order, cant go wrong there son, go forth and multiply!

So very true....

Women were created to confuse males... and it has worked for millions of years

[Funkstar]

Originally Posted by tiggerai

(A few strategic gutterballs should do the trick, unless she's a league bowler, in which case this should be easy!)

That's my normal style of play, even when I'm trying to play properly! (i never play to win, because that is a physical impossibility)

DataMatrix, she'll be as nervous as you. I really do find it one of the hardest things in the world to speak to a woman i like. But in the end, whats the worst that can happen? if you don't ask you don't get. And if you don't get anyway, then it makes it no different to what you have at the moment

[EvilMunky]

avoid cinema on a first date - cant really talk in there. Its more of a second date thing really........

[kidzer]

Oooh, I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago..kinda.

Anyways, met nice girl at friends birthday, got her number (from the friend, perhaps not the best way - but I got it), struck up conversation and grew balls and asked her if she wanted to go into Cinema. Rush Hour 3 is tremendous!

She said yes.

I then took her out for her tea (kinda, Pizza Hut - I'm young, and very cheap! ), and we talked plenty good during that.

Ofcourse, she moved down to Glasgow that weekend for Uni, but atleast I managed to do it, you should too - it's fun!

[IBM]

Originally Posted by Theo

And regarding women being confusing - yep, but only if you don't know them.

Just like Quantum Mechanics, if you think you understand women, you don't understand women.

Married six years, and I still don't understand my wife. And I think she likes it that way.

The only way to understand them is to recognise they are regularly nuts, and make no sense, and will make you pay. Then you need to get over it, and get on with your life.

[usxhe190]

yep, women are confusing creatures for us men

[Lee @ SCAN]

Like a few folks have said, it's all about confidence really.

Aparrently I flirt all the time to the point I don't know I'm doing it sometimes.

[fat jez]

Originally Posted by Lee @ SCAN

Like a few folks have said, it's all about confidence really.

Aparrently I flirt all the time to the point I don't know I'm doing it sometimes.

I do that, but only with women that I'm not worried about making a good impression with, if that makes sense? If I'm in the least bit interested in them, the flirting part of my brain shuts down until I know I'm back on safe ground and they are interested back. At which point the flirting begins again

Cheers,
Stephen

[[GSV]Trig]

Apparently I'm a terrible flirt, yet on the otherside I'm totally crap with women.
I've been in several situations, where with hindsight I could of gotten a lot more out of a girl than I realised at the time.
Best way to understand a woman is to be totally sober and as awake/aware as you can be while at the same time having them being at least 1 glass of wine into the night, this gives you the slight sober advantage and will easy her up a little bit that she doesnt talk in code or use subltley as much as women usually do..

A good way to get to know a girl IMHO is if they or you have a dog, go out walk in the local park, you have the dog as a distraction if the convo doesnt seem to be happening then you can use that, or other people etc as a topic starter, the cinema is a no no, as said above, no conversation there, drinks also isn't a great idea as a bar can usually be too noisey to talk properly, unless you;ve already been out and know she likes you a meal also is not nesesserily a good idea as its just you too sat there and could lead to large amounts of "silent" time..