Better to have loved and lost....

[Rave]

...than never to have loved.

I reckon, anyway.

On the 1st Jan 2008 I'm calling time on the love of my life. I've known her for a long time, but since we really got together about five years ago we've been inseperable. In one way I don't regret a thing, and we've had some truly wonderful times together, but recently the relationship has turned destructive. I have to leave now or she'll end up killing me.

So I'm never going to drink again.

I'm drunk now, of course. I don't want sympathy, either, I'm only posting this publicly because I know I'm weak, and it's going to be bloody hard to do it....and the truth is that shame is a great motivator. I couldn't really give a toss about my own health, but the thought of all my friends on here knowing that I've fallen off the wagon really will put me off thinking that I've beaten it, and that I can just have the cheeky one (or two, or twelve).

[Lucio]

Best to get out whilst you still have all your bits...

Look on the bright side, it'll make it easier to stick to your vow to make yourself homeless to avoid taxes

[Blitzen]

She cant be that bad.

[malfunction]

Originally Posted by Blitzen

She cant be that bad.

I think he was speaking metaphorically about the booze as opposed to an actual person. Mind you if so anthropomorphising (?) alcohol cannot be a good sign.

Rave,

Assuming you're being serious, though I can't promise I'll actually be any help in the real world if you want to talk to someone feel free to contact me.

[jimbouk]

Chin up man, you've got the world at your feet now!

[Honoop]

Dude, have absolutely no idea what you are going through - but good luck! If it's going to make your life better then you can do it!

[godsdog]

You will reach the end of your own line regarding drinking. There will be a tipping point when you just stop and move on. You just haven't reached the end of your lollipop yet.

Best thing you can do is get absolutely life threateningly drunk. Roll dem dice baby!!

[Tumble]

You seem like the sort of chap that'll get something done if you realy want to, like your bus driving. It is NOT going to be easy - giving anything familiar up is very hard, but stick at it, nd if your health (and the health of those around you) is being affected then it is deffo time to knock it on the head. Like others have said, not sure I can do a lot to help you with it, but you know where we are if you need a vent.

Hope it goes well for you matey, and have a nice christmas

[BEANFro Elite]

I always thought alcohol was a guy, I mean think about it, only when drunk are you obscene, up front, honest, blunt, careless, bumbling...Hmmm....

[Moby-Dick]

No its a known fact that beer contains female hormones, a few years ago they did a study of 40 men in their early 20's. They gave them a lot of beer to drink and found out that they talked a load of cobblers and couldn't drive.

[tigerboyce]

Originally Posted by Moby-Dick

No its a known fact that beer contains female hormones, a few years ago they did a study of 40 men in their early 20's. They gave them a lot of beer to drink and found out that they talked a load of cobblers and couldn't drive.

awesome lol

[MadduckUK]

5 years ago? you didnt drink till you were 23? whats that all aboot?

[Rave]

Originally Posted by MadduckUK

5 years ago? you didnt drink till you were 23? whats that all aboot?

I didn't drink every day until maybe three or four years ago. It seems like a long time, but maybe 5 years is an exagerration.

Anyway thanks to those who have encouraged me. I feel a lot happier having made the decision. I should never have let it come to this, but I did, and there's no use crying over spilt milk.

And there are a lot of good things to look forward to- being able to drive to restaurants etc. It's not all going to be depressing.

[Rave]

Originally Posted by godsdog

You will reach the end of your own line regarding drinking. There will be a tipping point when you just stop and move on. You just haven't reached the end of your lollipop yet.

Best thing you can do is get absolutely life threateningly drunk. Roll dem dice baby!!

The tipping point for me was waking up at 1pm on a good mate's sofa, minus my watch and the back of my mobile phone, to be told that I'd got myself thrown out of a club for absolutely no reason at all. I have become the sort of person I always despised, a drunken yob. I have no memory at all of several hours. Alcoholic blackouts have become so common for me that they don't even frighten me in the slightest any more. I was still far too drunk to drive home at 3pm the next afternoon.

[Dreaming]

Respect to you Rave.

Have a happy christmas and an even better new year.

[godsdog]

Originally Posted by Rave

The tipping point for me was waking up at 1pm on a good mate's sofa, minus my watch and the back of my mobile phone, to be told that I'd got myself thrown out of a club for absolutely no reason at all. I have become the sort of person I always despised, a drunken yob. I have no memory at all of several hours. Alcoholic blackouts have become so common for me that they don't even frighten me in the slightest any more. I was still far too drunk to drive home at 3pm the next afternoon.

You'll probably find it's a long cumulative build up of guilt, self loathing and remorse everytime you get wasted that tips the balance permanently for you. You'll find your own level that you don't go past / can't go past (and that's usually when you've sunk right to the very bottom, lost everything and plateaued out unfortunately).

Just don't totally discount AA/counselling/shrink route out of hand, you might well have a couple of nasty little head twists that someone can unlock/shed light on for you. Keep an open mind - which is hard if you're in any form of denial

Rave, just remember It's an interesting and temporary journey you are on, and a path well trodden by all alcoholics / addicts in general. So you aren't on your own and you aren't unique - and It's also a journey that will be the making of you as a person once you've got your head round it all.

Merry Christmas ...and the New Year's all to play for




/ps. bin there. done that. t-shirt etc - drugs and alcohol.