How do you dress like an old man?

[Steven W]

I'm after some advice.

I'm at a stag do next weekend and the theme is, bizarrely, old ladies and men. Half of us are old ladies and the other half old men.

I'm an old man. Anyone have any ideas what I could wear, I'm struggling to think of anything...

[Saracen]

Define "old"?

And are you after dressing as an "old" man would ..... or as a caricature of one?

[wombar]

Get yourself down a charity shop and find some trousers you can pull up to your armpits. Tuck your (preferably tea stained) shirt into those and that's problem sorted

[educatedfool]

Suspenders, or braces (whatever you chose to call them) coupled with grey trousers too short and pulled up too high

[Ferral]

Don't forget to get some braces and don't wear a belt, then you need the compulsory grandad type cap. Just think of an older version of Oliver, that should do the trick. You could also get a walking stick and a pair of round old fashioned glasses.

Other than that, when you get your gear stick it in a wardrobe with some mothballs to get the aroma just right!

[Salazaar]

Leather patches and tweed always work well.

[mycarsavw]

Pee on your trousers before putting them on, old boys always tend to have wee-spots.

Rub some gravy down your front.

Nice NHS-style glasses.

If your teeth are removable, remove them.

[educatedfool]

Originally Posted by mycarsavw

If your teeth are removable, remove them.

Or just don't secure them and fiddle with them constantly throughout the night

[Saracen]

I see everyone is thing about the "Last of the Summer Wine" Compo-caricature.

You could go the other way - a retired Army colonel, complete with handlebar moustache and a attitude problem.

Or just do as a lot of the older men I know do, and wear good quality clothes from a decent tailor. I can recommend a good Jermyn Street tailor, Steven.

[Salazaar]

Originally Posted by Saracen

Or just do as a lot of the older men I know do, and wear good quality clothes from a decent tailor. I can recommend a good Jermyn Street tailor, Steven.

The problem with that is that if you're a young man and you dress in good, tailored clothes, you look like a young man in good, tailored clothes! Kind of defeates the object.

You could always wear a suit of armour, they're like, 600 years old! Lateral thinking, see?

[chicken]

This guy knows where it's at:






This however is just plain disturbing:

[MadduckUK]

[CMC]

flat cap, brown trousers and an old jacket with a t shirt under should do the trick

[Betty_Swallocks]

nothing says old man like a beige cardigan

[HSK]

grey or brown trousers, braces, a shirt (light colour) a brown fuzzy jacket and a flat cap (dunno what they are called). also urinate on your clothes the night before so the smell sets in. put some moth balls in your pockets too. it will all add to the effect.

that should do it.

[Saracen]

Originally Posted by Salazaar

The problem with that is that if you're a young man and you dress in good, tailored clothes, you look like a young man in good, tailored clothes! Kind of defeates the object.

You could always wear a suit of armour, they're like, 600 years old! Lateral thinking, see?

Maybe. If the object is to dress like Compo. But the question was to "dress like an old man". How many old man do you know that wear a suit of armour? On the other hand, I know quite a few that dress well.

So if the object is to dress like compo, fine, dress like a tramp. If, on the other hand, you want to interpret the "theme" of the party differently, think laterally.