Advice please

[Virtual Monkey]

I could really use some advice from the Hexites.

I have a good friend who lives in a very strict Muslim household, and has been going out with a Christian girl for a few months. He's been unhappy at home for as long as I can remember: for most of last year he was forbidden from going out (even just to go to the cinema or come round to play games), wasn't allowed to go to places where there'd be lots of girls, and according to him, is bullied by his parents. I'm not sure to what extent he's bullied, but apparently he's be hit by his Dad at least once.

His Mum has found out about the girl he's going out with, and being 18 he's fed up and wants to leave home.

He phoned me last night and asked me if he could move in indefinately until he gets a job and has enough to get a place of his own. Ideally, of course I would have no problem with this, but I'm 18 and live with my parents. Financially, my parents simply aren't in the position to support a third kid, and I feel terrible even asking them to do it.

Realistically, he's either going to have to stay at home and get a job, or stay here for a week or so (at the most) before either: a) going to another friend's house (we have talked about this possibility and I don't think he has any other friends that would take him in), b) returning home (I'm not sure if his parents would even take him back in after he officially left home) or c) apply for some sort of homeless benefet and council flat.

I need help with c) - is this an option for him? I have read here ( http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question...9092727AAsR4Bj ) that he would be considered a priority case if applying for benefit on the basis that he could be made homeless. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? How soon, if at all, could he be housed in council property?

I would really appreciate as much advice, and as many links and phonenumbers as possible. I need to get him to realise that leaving home is a big thing and it's not going to be possible for him to live here, as much as I feel sort of duty-bound to take him in.

[Salazaar]

Getting a job is probably the most important priority before he considers anything else. Without some kind of regular income he's going to be pretty much screwed whatever options he takes.

It's harsh but he's probably best off just sucking it up and staying at home at least until he can work out what sort of financial situation he's in.

Or he could join the military.

[MSIC]

Leaving home and considering yourself homeless is one terrible option, and i feel sorry for the kid to be even considering it being an option, stuff must be tough.

If you make yourself "intentionally homeless" (as defined by you having an option, no matter how ****ty, to have a roof over your head) then you are waaaaay low down on the list.
And in addition to that, if you start claiming benefits, then almost all private renters won't touch you so that leaves council properties only. Not always a terrible option, but not great either.
Put it this way - in my area, a 37 week pregnant woman wanting housing to help her leave the friends place she is in (sleeping on the settee) and to stop taking drugs - this took over 5 weeks to get a place. It all depends on your area, and how many other 'priorities' there are likely to be.

[Virtual Monkey]

Thanks for your responses so far. The council house option looks pretty grim. I'm meeting up with him later to try and convince him to stick it out at home while he gets a job, at least.

Any advice is much appreciated.

[Agent]

Originally Posted by MSIC

If you make yourself "intentionally homeless" (as defined by you having an option, no matter how ****ty, to have a roof over your head) then you are waaaaay low down on the list.

I believe this is somewhat wavered if violence is involved, but he will probably need this documented with the police....which is another can of worms.

Can he have alook at local homeless shelters if things are that bad? Perhaps hostels too?

[Virtual Monkey]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I've talked to him and he's decided to stay at home at least while he gets a job, since from what you have all said it seems like a better option to relying on the welfare state or homeless shelters, at least until life becomes completely unbarable.

[MSIC]

Originally Posted by Agent

local homeless shelters if things are that bad?

I've not seen one yet that wasn't at least 80% full of drug taking and problem drinkers.
I'm not saying he'd get into that, but again it's a desperate option.
And of course once you are in one of those, you are technically housed, and therefore low down a priority list. Avoid, avoid, avoid.