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Thread: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

  1. #17
    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    It can't get any easier than that!
    Yeah it can - bring in the tar pit

  2. #18
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by kalniel View Post
    Yeah it can - bring in the tar pit
    Bring on the wall!


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    Studmuffin Flibb's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    With all this money flying around could some of it be used to sort out Darlings, sorry Mr Darlings eyebrow / hair problem. £5 at boots should be able to fix it, bet it even makes the Germans laugh.


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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash477 View Post
    In terms of the 1 mill would not being enough (my cheeky bit here), well I was thinking that if you gave someone 1 mill, then after they had spent it on what you suggested then how long would it be until the blew the rest
    Still, it got people talking about it
    Disagree
    Average man aged 50 having an expected 30 years life left, and woman haveing 35, you would not run out.

    For woman:
    52 weeks /year
    1820 total weeks
    £50 spent /week on alcohol or cigs
    £91,000 spent over the 30 years

    Probably the same spent on food, meaning total of £182,000

    New house, £300,000

    Total so far of £482,000

    New car would be less than £100,00 even if they went for some really nice car, therefore £582,000.

    Sending children to school/uni:
    Uni fee's are £~3,000 /year, so for three years, £9,000.
    Add accomendation and food, ect to this, and it will still be less than £50,000, three children <£150,000.

    Running total is £732,000

    Leaves a total of £268,000 to spend on other stuff

  5. #21
    ɯʎɔɐɹsɐʌʍ mycarsavw's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Flibb View Post
    With all this money flying around could some of it be used to sort out Darlings, sorry Mr Darlings eyebrow / hair problem. £5 at boots should be able to fix it, bet it even makes the Germans laugh.

    Surprised he's not already claiming for that on expenses
    |Kata: "Read title as 'fisting'. Not sure why I clicked. Relieved, really."|
    |TAKTAK: "It was so small that mine wouldn't fit into it"|

  6. #22
    PHP Geek Flash477's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Will404 View Post
    Disagree
    Average man aged 50 having an expected 30 years life left, and woman haveing 35, you would not run out.

    For woman:
    52 weeks /year
    1820 total weeks
    &#163;50 spent /week on alcohol or cigs
    &#163;91,000 spent over the 30 years

    Probably the same spent on food, meaning total of &#163;182,000

    New house, &#163;300,000

    Total so far of &#163;482,000

    New car would be less than &#163;100,00 even if they went for some really nice car, therefore &#163;582,000.

    Sending children to school/uni:
    Uni fee's are &#163;~3,000 /year, so for three years, &#163;9,000.
    Add accomendation and food, ect to this, and it will still be less than &#163;50,000, three children <&#163;150,000.

    Running total is &#163;732,000

    Leaves a total of &#163;268,000 to spend on other stuff
    That's what I mean though, it is that stuff left that they would spend, and a lot probably wouldn't bother claculating in the years of food and alcohol, so they would just think, "I've got a shed load of money here to spend on myself" spend it, and then struggle to try and have money for other things.

    Your example gave the level headed approach, but how many are level headed? that is the question

    Also where is the allowance for insurance, petrol, house repairs (boiler, roof, decorating etc), council tax, gas and electric? besides all those, I'm sure the government would find a way to get it all back through tax, as they are good at that

    Mind you with &#163;50 of alcohol and cigs each week, who would last 30-35 years. lol

  7. #23
    Studmuffin Flibb's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by mycarsavw View Post
    Surprised he's not already claiming for that on expenses
    If he did, it didnt bloody well work

  8. #24
    PHP Geek Flash477's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Flibb View Post
    If he did, it didnt bloody well work
    He's probably claiming it as an expense to keep his eyebrows black. They are probably white naturally

  9. #25
    Studmuffin Flibb's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Flash477 View Post
    He's probably claiming it as an expense to keep his eyebrows black. They are probably white naturally
    Good point
    this years he claims to match his eyebrows to his hair, next year its the other way around

  10. #26
    It's good to be bad pauldarkside's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    His nose doesn't look as brown as I'd imagined.
    My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe?

    0iD: Plus weeing in it every now & again does it good
    scaryjim: 10" is just a little large to hold comfortably in one hand, which makes it a lot harder to tap, swipe and generally interact with.

  11. #27
    Flat cap, Whippets, Cave. Clunk's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen View Post
    stupid betond belief.
    You owe it to yourself to click here really.

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  13. #28
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    ....

    There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1
    million apiece severance for early retirement ...
    /Inspects bank account.

    Yup, a million quid would be .... useful.

    /Examines birth certificate

    Uh-huh. So far so good.

    Liking it so far.


    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
    Oh, do I have to retire. Okay, if you insist. Where do I sign .... before you change your mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto
    Industry fixed.
    What counts as British? Does a DB9 count? It does? Okay, check on that item then.

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis
    fixed.
    No argument there. Mr Darling better not plan on retiring out of what he'll make outta me on that one though.

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate
    fixed.
    No problem with that. None at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by DR View Post
    5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty /
    tax etc
    A good bottle of brandy every couple of weeks. Job done.



    You got my vote for PM, David. I'll even help run your campaign.

  14. #29
    It's good to be bad pauldarkside's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    /Examines birth certificate
    Wise and old - I knew there had to be a reason for your long posts


    My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe?

    0iD: Plus weeing in it every now & again does it good
    scaryjim: 10" is just a little large to hold comfortably in one hand, which makes it a lot harder to tap, swipe and generally interact with.

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  16. #30
    PHP Geek Flash477's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by Clunk View Post


    What has he been smoking / injecting / snorting?

  17. #31
    Herr Doktor Oetker, ja!!! pollaxe's Avatar
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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    A pipe full of Youtube.

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    Re: An open letter to the chancellor of the exchequer

    Quote Originally Posted by pauldarkside View Post
    Wise and old -

    Not sure about the first part of that statement but I can vouch for the second part

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