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    Old 06-08-2004, 01:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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    Manchester United Computer Viruses

    Evil Manc Computer Viruses

    Be on the lookout for a new breed of 'Evil Manc' computer viruses that could seriously affect / infect your PC.

    There are many varieties of this virus, each affecting your computer in a different way. Details of each Variant of this virus are shown below.

    The Manchester United Virus - This where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about every thing before 1993.

    The Manchester United shirt virus - Designed to drain your bank account This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months.

    The David Beckham virus - This affects newer computers mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.

    The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows.

    The Alex Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise. The on screen clock runs a lot slower than all the other computers in the building.

    The Solskjaer virus - Will take numerous attempts to get into the net often failing completely.

    The Ryan Giggs virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

    The Fabien Barthez virus - You just can't save anything.

    Laurent Blanc virus - Makes your Computer go really slow and Creates big holes in your Hard-Drive!

    The Phil Neville virus - The worst of all, ruins all memory of basic functions and programmes, randomly delivering data to the wrong goal. Also weakens all communications within the network

    Dressing Room virus - Appears when the system fails. Reboot may be dangerous.

    Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
    Knight 2: NI.
    Other Knights: Shh...
    Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
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