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Thread: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...shire-33360817

    my sides ache.. my eyes are streaming tears.... my cheeks hurt

    BBC news rocks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    LUSE Galant's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Imagine if the fox had set the mice on them!
    No trees were harmed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were displaced and terribly inconvenienced.

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    Ghost of Hexus Present sammyc's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Someone falling off their bicycle and losing their glasses, always good for a laugh

    'the fox was eventually caught & destroyed' - not so much.

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    "Mr Staines admitted he "tweaked his groin" trying to get away from the marauding animal "

    it's 12 hours later and I still go back and read it

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...shire-33360817

    my sides ache.. my eyes are streaming tears.... my cheeks hurt

    BBC news rocks!
    I liked this one too
    Another told the perplexed Gresham police team that the ‘goat only respects one man’ and warned them to stay away

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    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by sammyc View Post
    Someone falling off their bicycle and losing their glasses, always good for a laugh

    'the fox was eventually caught & destroyed' - not so much.
    It's not the subject or events that get me, it's the way it's written - absolute classical 'farce' as Zak highlights. Methinks someone at the beeb was making a point.

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    Ghost of Hexus Present sammyc's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    ^ taken as read; if Zak's granny falls down a ravine, I'll also find the the relevant portions amusing & not the outcome, as here.

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    MCRN Tachi Ttaskmaster's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    I was most amused... until I read "The fox was eventually caught and destroyed".
    Now I am just sorely disappointed in the stupidity of humans and wish them similar terror at the hands of nature forever more.

    Can they not figure out that it's easy enough to release the fox back into the wild 50 or so miles away, or take it to one of the various wildlife sanctuaries, then?

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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    I surprised they didn't release it in a field and have it pursued by 50 hounds and two dozen fat blokes on horseback.

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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    I was most amused... until I read "The fox was eventually caught and destroyed".
    Now I am just sorely disappointed in the stupidity of humans and wish them similar terror at the hands of nature forever more.

    Can they not figure out that it's easy enough to release the fox back into the wild 50 or so miles away, or take it to one of the various wildlife sanctuaries, then?
    Wildlife sanctuarys don't wan't them, and you can't just release it in the coutryside either. People do still live there. It's already proven itself to be dangerous. If it's near a farm they'll be very annoyed, and you have to take into account other wildlife habitats close by.
    I would be all for releasing this animal into the wild in a perfect world, but it just isn't. The outcome was the only viable one imh.

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    MCRN Tachi Ttaskmaster's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy3536 View Post
    Wildlife sanctuarys don't wan't them, and you can't just release it in the coutryside either. People do still live there. It's already proven itself to be dangerous. If it's near a farm they'll be very annoyed, and you have to take into account other wildlife habitats close by.
    I would be all for releasing this animal into the wild in a perfect world, but it just isn't. The outcome was the only viable one imh.
    And yet someone likely did something to bring it to the situation it was in, so it's of their own making and so I have no sympathy for them.
    This is the part people forget when they come whining about wild animals. Apparently foxes are vermin, but only because their numbers swelled when their food source (ie the rabbits we brought into this country) increased. So again, we screwed things up and are now complaining when it comes to bite us in the ass...

    Some sanctuaries will take animals like this and where they cannot, there are still plenty of guidelines for suitable release areas.

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    guys... I will be clear on something

    IF that fox had not been destroyed .. and IF a child somewhere had been bitten by a fox within 50 miles... in the next year...

    you KNOW what the news papers would do with that... don't you? The second fox could have been sky blue pink with blue ears.. people would still assume it's the same fox.

    And secondly.. sadly....you cant release an urban fox into the countryside.. it will suffer. It wont have the skills required to survive. Urban foxes and foxes from deep in the countryside have different upbringings... the ability to find food in bin bags, and in peoples vegetable composters, is a different thing to hunting rabbits in a 50 aces woodland. In that you must trust me.

    So... sad as it was for the fox... having bitten some stupid woman who tried to feed it.... once that was done, the humane and sensible thing to do is not in the foxs life-plan... it's a quick humane end.

    This week, across England, hundreds... possibly many many hundreds of foxes will be shot with 12 guages and rim fire rifles to lower their population. None of them have bitten someone in a carpark.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    Re: Honestly... I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    sky blue pink
    Bloody hell, how old are you? I haven't heard that since my grandmother was alive.

    The old dear's been gone twenty years!

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    Honestly I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Isn't it strange that people are happy to adopt epithets they would fight to the death to throw off had they been imposed?

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    MCRN Tachi Ttaskmaster's Avatar
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    Re: Honestly I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    IF that fox had not been destroyed .. and IF a child somewhere had been bitten by a fox within 50 miles... in the next year...
    I would be laughing so much I wet myself... because that child likely did, or their parents let them do, something wrong in order to get bitten. No different in my eyes to the poor poacher who got stoped by the hippo he was going to shoot.
    I've had decades of living around both London urban and very rural foxes, to the point where we hosted local fox watcher gatherings (we weren't fans ourselves, but they offered to pay us for parking) - If you can manage to get that close to a fox for a bite, you're a better ninja than me!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    And secondly.. sadly....you cant release an urban fox into the countryside.. it will suffer. It wont have the skills required to survive. Urban foxes and foxes from deep in the countryside have different upbringings...
    Alconbury isn't exactly 'Tottenham Court Road' urban, though!
    5-6km away would be smack in the middle of the countryside and the exact sort of habitat it normally lives in anyway. Rural and semi-rural foxes generally range around 2-3 square miles, if not fully itinerant.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    the ability to find food in bin bags, and in peoples vegetable composters, is a different thing to hunting rabbits in a 50 aces woodland. In that you must trust me.
    And yet most wild animals are sufficiently adaptable to work out both.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    So... sad as it was for the fox... having bitten some stupid woman who tried to feed it....
    Same thing happens to peoples' dogs - Some kid goes over the fence to chucks stones at it and beats it with a stick, dog has enough and bites kid, dog gets put down while kid gets to play the victim. No animal should have to pay for the stupidity of humans.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    once that was done, the humane and sensible thing to do is not in the foxs life-plan... it's a quick humane end.
    The humane thing... even though this thing isn't human.
    The humane thing would be to remove people like this from places where their stupidity messes up, until they can refrain from being idiots!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    This week, across England, hundreds... possibly many many hundreds of foxes will be shot with 12 guages and rim fire rifles to lower their population. None of them have bitten someone in a carpark.
    And many more will take note and avoid those areas. Some will try their luck and that's just what they do.

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    Re: Honestly I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    Same thing happens to peoples' dogs - Some kid goes over the fence to chucks stones at it and beats it with a stick, dog has enough and bites kid, dog gets put down while kid gets to play the victim. No animal should have to pay for the stupidity of humans.
    This. Likewise paying for inconveniencing humans, heaven forfend. All too commonplace, and incensing beyond measure http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/britis...cubs-1.3141652


    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    This week, across England, hundreds... possibly many many hundreds of foxes will be shot with 12 guages and rim fire rifles to lower their population. None of them have bitten someone in a carpark.
    Hardly a thought to temper one's dismay at this story, is it

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