Gift Idea for my gf

[ik9000]

I know... though technically it's correct and means the same thing.
I just liked how it sounded insulting!

"I say... you dastardly, rogueish, villainous, rapscallion little whimsey!!!"

I believe the phrase you're looking for is a fish-whalloping curmudgeonly slubberdegullion. Don't make me go Boris on you

[g8ina]

Mind the swearing chaps

[ik9000]

Mind the swearing chaps

as opposed to the Swearing Chapstick (TM) - just smear it on your lips for an instant boost of short-term tourettes. NB not to use before job interviews, weddings, funerals or state functions.

[KeyboardDemon]

You could go cheap and pick a bunch of flower out of a neighbours garden.

Note: Do this at your own risk, I'm not responsible for the outcome should you travel this road, but I would love to hear about how it went if you do.

[Ttaskmaster]

Mind the swearing chaps

Curs'd be the blacksmith who forged the axe, which felled the tree, from which was carved the headboard of the bed of the parents of the driver of the carriage, in which your mother and father first met.... as we used to say, back in the day!!

[ik9000]

Curs'd be the blacksmith who forged the axe, which felled the tree, from which was carved the headboard of the bed of the parents of the driver of the carriage, in which your mother and father first met.... as we used to say, back in the day!!

Oi. That's taking it too far. If I had a white glove I would hereby whip ye by yer scruffy pork-chops and challenge you to a morning duel at Battersea Common.

[Ttaskmaster]

Oi. That's taking it too far. If I had a white glove I would hereby whip ye by yer scruffy pork-chops and challenge you to a morning duel at Battersea Common.

Very good. I shall dispatch my valet to fetch a pair, that you may choose your favour of left or right. Would you prefer cotton or satin?

Meanwhile - Judging by your lower class accent and poor command of language... 'sir'... you are most decidedly NOT of higher social standing than I. Therefore, as the challenged party, the rules state it is for me to decide the time and weapons.

Given that there is also no such place as Battersea Common, I think it best *I* decide the place... wouldn't you agree?

I would enquire if you have any particular preferences I might consider, between broadsword, quarterstaff, billhook, cudgel or M41-A Pulse Rifle... but must also point out that you must provide for yourself the weapon decided upon.

As the (supposedly) offended party, you are to name the conclusion to which we must duel.
I would strongly advise you further give adequate consideration to how this particularly illegal activity shall avoid the unwanted attention of the law.

[ik9000]

Very good. I shall dispatch my valet to fetch a pair, that you may choose your favour of left or right. Would you prefer cotton or satin?

Meanwhile - Judging by your lower class accent and poor command of language... 'sir'... you are most decidedly NOT of higher social standing than I. Therefore, as the challenged party, the rules state it is for me to decide the time and weapons.

Given that there is also no such place as Battersea Common, I think it best *I* decide the place... wouldn't you agree?

I would enquire if you have any particular preferences I might consider, between broadsword, quarterstaff, billhook, cudgel or M41-A Pulse Rifle... but must also point out that you must provide for yourself the weapon decided upon.

As the (supposedly) offended party, you are to name the conclusion to which we must duel.
I would strongly advise you further give adequate consideration to how this particularly illegal activity shall avoid the unwanted attention of the law.

My weapon of choice is wands. The location is the Battersea fields, before they were developed. Use whichever method of getting there you choose. I suggest duelling robes and battledress, though capes are so much fun. I suggest we give 21st March 1829 a miss, I've no desire to interrupt Wellington's famous duel. Though I suppose we could spectate using the relevant charms to shield us. As for the law, do you mean Auras or the Bobbys of the time?

As for my speach, I believe the modern parlence to be "whatever trevor"

[sammyc]

How are you selecting your seconds? No small matter, in the event of bottling out - or grievous injury. Choose wisely.

[GuidoLS]

Confused, like usual - someone direct me to the swearing, please. And, fwiw, chaps are large pieces of leather that are attached to most of the leg via ties from the upper thigh to just below the lower calf... or a really bad smelling fragrance from Ralph Lauren... never heard either swear before, although I've heard a bit of swearing when a fellow wearing Chaps in chaps walked by...

[Ttaskmaster]

My weapon of choice is wands.

I shall *consider* your preference when I make my decision over which weapons we are to use.
However, the time will be my choice, not yours and since I'm a fan of the modern day....

As for the law, do you mean Auras or the Bobbys of the time?

I mean whosoever would seek to intervene, be they official law enforcement or otherwise...

As for my speach, I believe the modern parlence to be "whatever trevor"

Oh.
I didn't realise you were THAT far down the social scale...
Ah well, this really will be a short duel then!!

How are you selecting your seconds? No small matter, in the event of bottling out - or grievous injury. Choose wisely.

Seconds are not usually a requirement and certainly don't have to fight if we refuse - That's more of a Firefly thing. The more common purpose of a Second is to ensure fair play.

And, fwiw, chaps are large pieces of leather that are attached to most of the leg via ties from the upper thigh to just below the lower calf...

Maybe in whatever nightclubs you frequent...!
But in this land, Chap kinda means the same as Fella, Mate, Buddy, Pal, etc...

[KeyboardDemon]

But in this land, Chap kinda means the same as Fella, Mate, Buddy, Pal, etc...

Are you sure? I thought a chap was a kind of rash that is commonly found between the nose and chin area on one's face, as in a chapped lip.

[Domestic_Ginger]

Chap is short for chappy. This forum becomes more uncouth daily.

[ik9000]

Chap is short for chappy. This forum becomes more uncouth daily.

It can also refer to your, err, chap. You know...

I shall *consider* your preference when I make my decision over which weapons we are to use.
However, the time will be my choice, not yours and since I'm a fan of the modern day....


I mean whosoever would seek to intervene, be they official law enforcement or otherwise...


Oh.
I didn't realise you were THAT far down the social scale...
Ah well, this really will be a short duel then!!

Screw you. I challenged you to this duel. You don't get to suddenly hijack everything about it. Either rock up with your wand in the past or I win by default.

[Disturbedguy]

Can I have some of whatever ik9000 and taskmaster are on?

[Ttaskmaster]

Are you sure? I thought a chap was a kind of rash that is commonly found between the nose and chin area on one's face, as in a chapped lip.

To be chapped, yes.
But a chap is a form of address.

Chap is short for chappy. This forum becomes more uncouth daily.

Actually it's short for Chapman, which is/was a 16th Century term for a seller or peddlar.

It can also refer to your, err, chap. You know...

You name yours?

Screw you. I challenged you to this duel. You don't get to suddenly hijack everything about it. Either rock up with your wand in the past or I win by default.

I'm hijacking nothing.
The rules of duelling clearly state that, because you challenged me, I therefore do get to choose the weapons and time.
The place would normally be yours, but your geography appears impaired.
Only thing left is for you to decide the concluding conditions and you're pretty much limited to: First Blood, Severe Wound, or à l'outrance (ie Death). Anything outside of that is pretty much deemed uncouth and by thus insisting you therefore rob yourself of honour and any win.

It's all very simple...

Can I have some of whatever ik9000 and taskmaster are on?

Sure thing - It's called 'Heisenberg'. You can get some from any decent Vaping shop - 10ml for about £4.50.
It's the exact same blue as my Mayhems X1... and tastes like I imagine the X1 would, as well!

If Heisenberg is not to your taste, they do a 'Pinkman' as well!!