World Cup Rules for wife/girl/partner etc.

[0iD]

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

List Of Rules.

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of the World

[Jonny]

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.

[iMc]

Originally Posted by Jonny

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.

Football is good! But I would rather watch you chew off your legs than watch a game.

[Steve A]

Well i watch all the group games here ... then im off to Mexico on the 22nd so i will watch them at the Pool bar in the 30 Degree heat with my corona ... think about you all (Not), im good anyway as she watches footy too so i will have it sorted .. but i feel sorry for the chaps who have the thumb print on the back of there head ..



Oh and OiD you are a diamond ..

LOLOLOL

[Russ]

i may watch some....











i may even be sick off work for a month and watch every second :|

[Mike Fishcake]

Sorry, what's this 'World Cup' thing I've heard people talking about?

[Howard]

Originally Posted by Mike Fishcake

Sorry, what's this 'World Cup' thing I've heard people talking about?

I was wondering the same thing


I shan't be giving it a second thought really

[Hans Voralberg]

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute

Any1 mind explain to me how you watch a game in that state ?

[Flibb]

Originally Posted by Hans Voralberg

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute

Any1 mind explain to me how you watch a game in that state ?

Quietly

[Steven W]

My sister booked her wedding over a year ago, and then there was a big panic when they realised it was the 10th June - England vs Paraguay.

So, she's now changed it to the 3rd, otherwise people won't come.

[Workaholic]

Ha, great thread...

Wonder why there's nothing about going to the pub later or during the games for a larger TV screen?

[pr0p4g4nd4]

Originally Posted by Jonny

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.

Yes! Thank you, I'm like the only male bar one that I know who detests it as much as I!

[Mike Fishcake]

Originally Posted by pr0p4g4nd4

Yes! Thank you, I'm like the only male bar one that I know who detests it as much as I!

There are plenty of us, we're just silenced by the media hype and masculine expectations

We've had to move our comedy club nights forward from tuesdays to mondays whilst the world cup is on, otherwise we don't get enough punters. Booo.

[99Flake]

I don't mind football (rugby and F1 are far better) and am not adverse to watching the odd game during the world cup. However what I detest is the way that for four weeks it takes over like some kind of virus. I mean does it really matter that much? Not really, it IS only a game and it would be nice if it wasn't forced into everyone's face every ten seconds. It is bad enough normally with the amount of coverage fottball has, but it just gets plain ridiculous. There are other sports out there afterall.

[Stewart]

Please, please, please, please, please stop moaning about the wall-to-wall coverage the World Cup is going to get. It gets that sort of coverage because it is the biggest sporting event in the world, a large majority of the men, women and children who can will be watching Englands games with interest, and the TV audience for the final will exceed 1 billion.

This is not going to change because you say 'Does it really matter that much?'

I'm sure Cash In The Attic will be on the other channel, for those of us who can't appriciate sport to enjoy, while everyone else watches the football. Use the time to get some shelves put up. Get down the shops while the England game is on and enjoy the empty iles. Mow the lawn.

Take advantage. Just don't whinge and moan. The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on the planet, its going to take over TV, Radio, Newspapers, and everywhere else.

If you can't beat us, join us. If you really don't want to join us - shush.

[Stewart]

Originally Posted by Mike Fishcake

We've had to move our comedy club nights forward from tuesdays to mondays whilst the world cup is on, otherwise we don't get enough punters.

No mate, you're in luck!

FIFA have just released a statement saying that due to a clash with Mike Fishcakes comedy club nights, the World Cup has been cancelled! So all is well after all.

Also, Woolworths have a 50% discount on a sense of perspective at the moment. Why not get one?