Long distance relationships

[lynni]

This might seem to be a really odd thread on the forums but im feeling rather depressed, just dropped my boyfriend off at the docks so he can go home...... but does anybody have any ideas on how to cope with a long distance relationship? that will stay long distance for the next 18 mnths

I should be a old hand at this really, haveing been going out with tumble for the last six months. But the distance thing doesnt seem to be getting any easier, we see each other every weekend and although they are fantastic weekends, in a way i almost hate them cos we have to say goodbye at the end of each one and leave each other for another week....
Im now three months into my second year and we are waiting for me to qualify, so that we can get a house etc

Any ideas to stop me going mad?

[Craig]

Id also like to hear other peoples opinions on this, as me and my girlfriend only get to see eachother on the weekends, closing up to our first year im coping so far but any help on how others have coped would be great

Meminur

[petrefax]

one thing i used to do, dunno if its any good but i liked it, helped get thru the day cos me & my then g/f were apart due to working in different parts of the country & we both hated our jobs.

although we used to speak on the phone most nights we also used to take 1 minute during the day each day (midday, cos it was easy to remember) & whatever we were doing we'd spend that minute thinking of one another....used to add a bit of light to gloomy days and it was a very pleasant thought knowing that however alone we felt, somewhere in the country was someone feeling the same as me, and they were thinking nice things about me.

dunno....just a thought....(we didn't have mobiles / txt in 1991)

[QueenAdreena]

Originally posted by lynni
This might seem to be a really odd thread on the forums but im feeling rather depressed, just dropped my boyfriend off at the docks so he can go home......

I know how you feel. I've just got home from taking my girlfriend to the station after spending the weekend together

I tend to find that knowing when you'll see them next helps, I can cope as long as I know how many days/weeks it's gonna be.

Oh and webcams are good, it's a lot easier if you can actually *see* them, rather than just chatting online/phoning all the time. Also text messages are good, you can sneak them in during work quite easily *looks at £50 worth of text messages last month* :O

[Russ]

Originally posted by petrefax
although we used to speak on the phone most nights we also used to take 1 minute during the day each day (midday, cos it was easy to remember) & whatever we were doing we'd spend that minute thinking of one another....used to add a bit of light to gloomy days and it was a very pleasant thought knowing that however alone we felt, somewhere in the country was someone feeling the same as me, and they were thinking nice things about me.

I live about 1km from my gf, and i never stop thinkin about her, aint enough minutes in the day, so i couldnt dedicate just one.

[Elmo]

long distance sux, i just came back from a lovely weekend at my bf's and i feel poo and i wont see him again for another 3 weeks I should be used to distance by now tho, this is my 3rd long distance relationship, but it really doesnt get any easier! i know i'm silly letting myself get into them, but you cant help who you fall in love with, right?

But, eventhough it's difficult, i loves him to bits and i wont let the distance get the better of this one. The relationship is worth far more than a £20 train ticket and a 4 hour journey every few weeks. *pokes QA*

[lynni]

Originally posted by QueenAdreena
I know how you feel. I've just got home from taking my girlfriend to the station after spending the weekend together

I tend to find that knowing when you'll see them next helps, I can cope as long as I know how many days/weeks it's gonna be.

Oh and webcams are good, it's a lot easier if you can actually *see* them, rather than just chatting online/phoning all the time. Also text messages are good, you can sneak them in during work quite easily *looks at £50 worth of text messages last month* :O

Cheers he does have a webcam, and it looks like im gettting for one for xmas, cos he doesnt like me being able to see him and not seeing me.... esph when i tell him off for pickin his nose!

Im coping alright and I spose he is as well, its just that 18 mnths doesnt seem that far away, yet it is....

[petrefax]

Originally posted by Russ
I live about 1km from my gf, and i never stop thinkin about her, aint enough minutes in the day, so i couldnt dedicate just one.

awww - thats sweet mate

[QueenAdreena]

Originally posted by Elmo
long distance sux, i just came back from a lovely weekend at my bf's and i feel poo

coincidence++

*pokes elmo*

[lynni]

Originally posted by Elmo
long distance sux, i just came back from a lovely weekend at my bf's and i feel poo and i wont see him again for another 3 weeks I should be used to distance by now tho, this is my 3rd long distance relationship, but it really doesnt get any easier! i know i'm silly letting myself get into them, but you cant help who you fall in love with, right?

But, eventhough it's difficult, i loves him to bits and i wont let the distance get the better of this one. The relationship is worth far more than a £20 train ticket and a 4 hour journey every few weeks. *pokes QA*

It can cost me and tumble upto £40 to see each other and we manage it every weekend, atm its a four boat journey cos its winter, but during the summer its 2 and a half

Like you i love him to death and theres no way the distance is going to get the better of us, we will manage to get thru this somehow and knowing when im seeing him next helps an awful awful lot.... funny tho i only feel depressed walking back to my flat, the rest of the evening and going to bed alone. When i wake up monday morning, then im able to busy myself in the week and start looking forward to seeing him again

[Elmo]

Originally posted by lynni
It can cost me and tumble upto £40 to see each other and we manage it every weekend, atm its a four boat journey cos its winter, but during the summer its 2 and a half

Like you i love him to death and theres no way the distance is going to get the better of us, we will manage to get thru this somehow and knowing when im seeing him next helps an awful awful lot.... funny tho i only feel depressed walking back to my flat, the rest of the evening and going to bed alone. When i wake up monday morning, then im able to busy myself in the week and start looking forward to seeing him again

I would like to manage to do the trip every weekend, but a) i still live with mummy, and b) i would never get any work done for uni!!! - take this weekend for example, i went to leeeds and i have a test at 9am tomorrow morning. On friday i was too excited and couldnt concentrate on studying, today i was too depressed to concentrate on studying, and during the weekend, well.... yeah, i dint get any studying done then either. So, right now, it's ok. I have 30 months left of my degree (i'm also 3 months into my second year, but in scotland, and we have stupid 4 yr degrees here) so 18 months isnt that long with respect to the rest of your life, it just feels like forever

[lynni]

Originally posted by Elmo
I would like to manage to do the trip every weekend, but a) i still live with mummy, and b) i would never get any work done for uni!!! - take this weekend for example, i went to leeeds and i have a test at 9am tomorrow morning. On friday i was too excited and couldnt concentrate on studying, today i was too depressed to concentrate on studying, and during the weekend, well.... yeah, i dint get any studying done then either. So, right now, it's ok. I have 30 months left of my degree (i'm also 3 months into my second year, but in scotland, and we have stupid 4 yr degrees here) so 18 months isnt that long with respect to the rest of your life, it just feels like forever

I spose with the time you have left we are really lucky, we were both saying tonight how glad we are im not a fresher it wouldnt make much difference to us really, just take us longer to get together properly..... But your right there 18 mnths feels like forever

[eldren]

Ahh, yes, LDRs. I was in an LDR, one of those internet relationships. She's in up-state New York, and I, South Africa. And even though it lasted for over 3.5 years, we have still not met. Still have the $100 webcam I bought specifically for us, too. Phoning cost too much, so calls were a rarity, but it was made up for with daily internet conversations each evening. How can it be made better? I never did work that one out. But be sure to have frequent contact, of some form or another, even it's only 15 minutes IM chat each night or something. When I lost my in-week internet access, our relationship suffered. I actually credit that as being one of the reasons we parted.

The moral of the story is, communication.

[DR]

eeek whats with all the relationship stuff? Does it say 'Help for Relationships - the new root for HEXUS!'

[Elmo]

no dave, she was simply looking for some advice..... is that wrong?

[ACiD303]

Im no old hand at LDR's . . . but since alot of my friends dont originate from here, I get the jist of it (not in the bad way, but Im usually the sounding board).

One of my mates has just announced he's getting married next year. He & his girlfriend have been together for 4 years now - but they've probably seen each other for in total maybe just over a year taken into account the visits to and from the States and Scotland. It's been really tough on both of them, but they are still as strong as when they first met - as someone's already said, communication is the key. And they're technophobes, anything more than messenger they'd cry. Just shows it can be done the old fashion ways (phone and letters).

In fact, I think in all the LDR's I've known, things have only got stronger between the couples. Instead of focusing on xx number of months it is, just think you have something to look forward to (something thats important imo to keep your head up) and in the meantime, just enjoy life as it is.