English Slang Terms Explained.

[Stewart]

Hello all,

Recently, I’ve noticed that people from places other than England, who use these forums, have a problem understanding what our slang terms are, and how they are used in polite conversation. I even noticed someone asking what a butty was!

So, in an effort to right this, I have typed up the following simple guide to the basics of slang usage in general.

Apologies for the use of naughty words.

The lesson begins:


Lesson 1: The word 'bollocks'

1) Basic Meaning.

Bollocks, is, at the most basic level, a slang term for testicles. So 'a kick in the bollocks' means that someone kicked you in the testicles.


2) Slang Meaning.

Bollocks can mean something is bad, but also that something is good. In general, you use the word 'the', to switch between the positive and negative alignments. So, if I described something as 'bollocks', that would mean is was bad; i.e. 'that film was bollocks man, I wont be watching that again.'

However, were I to say that the film was 'the bollocks', then that would mean it was good. In many ways, it shares this function with the word 'balls'. If something is balls, then it’s bad, poor, etc; but if something is 'the balls', then it’s good, or as some would say 'tops'.


3) Canine Alignments.

As well as bollocks (bad) and the bollocks (good), you have a third level of value, known as 'the dogs bollocks'. Now, should you use this phrase, then you are again saying that the film in question, was good. It should be noted, that although both 'the bollocks' and 'the dogs bollocks' mean good, ‘the dogs bollocks’ means slightly better than just ‘the bollocks’.

So, in full - bollocks (bad), the bollocks (good), the dogs bollocks (very good).


4) Canine Alignment Variation.

As well as 'the dogs bollocks', several slang terms exist, for this phrase, itself a slang term. This is known as Neo-Slang-Positive-Alignment. In this case, terms such as 'the mutts nuts' and 'the pedigrees plums' are in widespread use.

In general, the amount of good indicated by a Neo-Slang term is identical to that indicated by its parent term. So ‘the mutts nuts’ is a positive, in as much as ‘the dogs bollocks’, is a positive.


5) Correct Use Of The Word ‘Banana’, In Relation To Canine Alignment Variation.

Slang terms are sometimes paired up in common usage, in a process known as sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation-Negative-Slang. In this case, the most common slang term for bollocks, and its many slang and Neo-Slang partners, is the word ‘Banana’.

In itself, Banana has many uses. Firstly and most obviously, it is the word used to refer to the soft yellow fruit, shaped like the rude bit of a monkey; however, it also shares a positive slang connotation, similar to that of ‘the bollocks’, or its canine alignment variation, ‘the dogs bollocks’.

Unlike bollocks, the word Banana is slang-0. Meaning that it cannot be used on its own, to represent a positive meaning, only using basic words such as ‘the’, but can be used alone to represent a negative meaning. So, if I wanted to be negative, I could call someone a ‘Banana’, and in doing so, insult them. However, were I to need a positive meaning, I would have to add the word ‘top’ to it, making the phrase ‘top Banana’.

It should be noted, that in all cases, positive meanings arrived at by manipulating core words which are themselves slang-0, always have a slightly lower level of positive meaning than those arrived at via the manipulation, or lack thereof, of a word which can be used alone, or with the word ‘the’ added as a pre-text, to arrive at the positive alignment.


6) Cross-Alignment Variation Between Canine Alignment Variation And The Word Banana, In Relation To Its Related Terms, At All Stages of Sub-Alignment Variation, Both Positive And Negative.

Now, canine and banana based slang terms, both positive and negative, including slang-0 terms, are interconnected by other slang terms, known as Inter-Reactive-Cross-Alignment-Variation terms. These terms are rarely used as Cross-Alignment slang terms, and more often used as stand alone terms in their own right.

The most often used of these terms is the word ‘plum’. The Cross-Alignment comes from its use in the phrase ‘the pedigrees plums’, shown in step 4 to be a recognised Neo-Slang-Positive-Alignment term; and the interchangeable relationship it enjoys with the word ‘banana’, shown in step 5 to be a recognised sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation-Negative-Slang term.

It is important to remember, that unlike positive meanings arrived at by manipulating core words which are in themselves Slang-0, the positive and\or negative meanings arrived at via the direction manipulation of a recognised Inter-Reactive-Cross-Alignment-Variation terms, do not share the exact same level of positive and\or negative meaning, as their parent term.

This is because Inter-Reactive-Cross-Alignment-Variation terms are not subject to the same rule set used to determine whether or not a term is classified as Slang-0, when the parent term is negative; it is however, subject to the aforementioned process, should either the parent term, or the Cross-Alignment-Variation itself be a Slang-0 term.

In some cases, you may have a word which is Intervariational-Cross-Aligned-Slang-0. This is a chain of events, where the parent term, be it positive or negative, is of opposite alignment to the word arrived at, once the process of Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation has been applied in full.

In this case, the parent word and the word arrived at after Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation, are both subject to the rules governing Slang-0 terms, regardless of how many times the switch between positive and negative meanings are made.

This is (obviously) provided the number of times the exact switch is made is an even amount, discounting those times in which the switch was forced, due to the term having to follow the guidelines of basic Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation.


7) Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation Terms, With An Odd Number Of Slang-0 Alignment Changes, Forced By Basic Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation.

Obviously, not all terms, when applied fully to the rules laid out by Sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation, or indeed those of Slang-0-Intervariational-cross-aligment, will result in a term, which has switched alignment between positive and negative an equal number of times, post sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation.

The phrase ‘that was top banana, you plum!’, for instance, has both positive (top banana) and negative (you plum) meanings, utilising both Slang-0 terms (banana), and Inter-Reactive-Cross-Alignment-Variation terms (plum), fully explained in the last 3 sections.

( --- If at this stage, you are not fully aware of the relationship between these terms, and the way they should be handled in both positive and negative terms, then please re-read sections 1-6.--- )

Now, in this case, the mixture of both Slang-0 and Interaction-Cross-Alignment, can result in an odd number of alignment changes being made, particularly when the positive and negative terms are contained not only within the same phrase, but also with an exact match of slang and Slang-0 terminology.

In this case, standard sub-Alignment-Neo-Variation will not suffice, as the phrase and\or meaning’s are interchangeable, at a level below that in which the positive and\or negative alignments change, being Slang-0-Intervariational-Cross-Aligments, and simpler sub-Alignments, respectively.

Of course, you don’t need me to tell you, that the current systems so far explained, are insufficient to handle multi-level Inter-Variation-Cross-Alignment, without breaking the standard rules of Slang-0-Neo-Variation.

It is here, that Low-Level-Interrepresentational-Post-Cross-Variantational-Neo-sub3-Aligment-Reverse-Multi-Cross-sub-Neo-Reactive-Inter-Alingmentation-Inverted-Pre-Neo-Low-Level-Cross-sub-Reation-By-Proxy, must be explained.


8) Low-Level-Interrepresentational-Post-Cross-Variantational-Neo-sub3-Aligment-Reverse-Multi-Cross-sub-Neo-Reactive-Inter-Alingmentation-Inverted-Pre-Neo-Low-Level-Cross-sub-Reation-By-Proxy. (In Reverse)

By now, I’m sure you have grasped both the basic, and slightly more advanced rules sets, which you can use, to construct and use simple slang terms, quickly, and with a minimum of fuss.

In fact, due to the overt simplicity evident in the previous 7 sections, it hardly seems needed to touch on Low-Level-Interrepresentational-Post-Cross-Variantational-Neo-sub3-Aligment-Reverse-Multi-Cross-sub-Neo-Reactive-Inter-Alingmentation-Inverted-Pre-Neo-Low-Level-Cross-sub-Reation-By-Proxy, as I’m sure you’ve all worked out what it is, and how to use it, in a real-life situation, simply by thinking ahead, and applying logic and step-by-step thought processes in equal measures.

In fact, I hardly need to mention that Low-Level-Interrepresentational-Post-Cross-Variantational-Neo-sub3-Aligment-Reverse-Multi-Cross-sub-Neo-Reactive-Inter-Alingmentation-Inverted-Pre-Neo-Low-Level-Cross-sub-Reation-By-Proxy, is only used in those rare occasions, when a basic, though unevenly switched Neo-Alignment, has been Inverted, and then re-Inverted, due to Cross-Alignments, and the way they effect standard Slang-0 terms, in a Multi-Cross-Variation environment.

Why, I hardly need to mention, that even if the 3rd level is actually needed, it is only to switch from positive to negative, when the Post-Cross variation terms, are needed in order to reverse the Alignment.

I wouldn’t insult your intelligence, by touching on the fact, that Reverse-Multi-Cross-sub-Neo-Reactive-Inter-Alignmentation, is only actually needed, when attempting to simultaneously state that something was good and bad, and only then if the Neo-Inter-Variable is negative.

I’d expect to be beaten to death with sticks, if I dared mention the fact that Low-Level-Inter-Representational-Post-Cross-Variation is simply applied using basic sub-Neo-Slang-0 rules, edited, to allow for the third level of activity.


So there we have it. The word Bollocks, and how to simply and easily use the word, and its slang terms, in a conversation.

Try it yourself; you’ll be surprised how easy it is!

[shiato storm]

well first thought is; "oh my god...someone has too much time on their hands." or to put it another way:

bollocks!

[nichomach]

I must respectfully disagree, ss; indeed I would opine that Vaul's guide above is the *ahem* "dog's"

[Ferral]

I think regional variations should be included also to be complete, example things like saying "Bollocks to ya" is another way of telling someone to either p**s off or f**k off / f**k you or go f**k yourself here in the North East. That type of thing.

Not forgetting you also have "screw you" meaning the same as the above.

[floppybootstomp]

roflmao Vaul

You kinda lost me at about # 6 though, too much for my brain

I have tried to explain the meaning of the word in question many times to Americans. They really don't get it, most of the time.

Hopefully this guide should go some way to bridging the cultural divide

[shiato storm]

bridging the cultural divide? why on earth would we want to do that???!!

[floppybootstomp]

Originally posted by shiato storm
bridging the cultural divide? why on earth would we want to do that???!!

a valid point

[ACiD303]

much the same as they mean in Scotland then

[evildoc614]

Hey iam ready for lesson 2.. some of the slang i dont understand and iam not affraid to admit it =)

[Stewart]

Originally posted by floppybootstomp
roflmao Vaul

You kinda lost me at about # 6 though, too much for my brain

Ah well. It takes a special kind of person to still be 'with it', and the end of step 8.

[Blub2k]

So many bollockses in the US they should really know what it means

[3Dfx]

Cumbrian Slang

Garn

Means going, shartened and made cooler LOL!!!

Ow'eh

means "come on"

marra

mate

[Nick]

I have to say that that post is the mutt's... no really...

[evildoc614]

whats chrimbo? i am assuming its christmas just wonder where that comes from

[Allen]

What about 'a load of bollocks' meaning 'a lie'?

[PriestJPN]

Bollocks in its original meaning is another word for priest or vicar...

True.

IIRC, The Sex Pistols (or rather their record comapny) used this meaning of the word to win an obscenity court case concerning their album "Never mind the Bollocks..."