And the winner is!!.....

[Nick]

Fumbles with golden envelope....

andshrew with O'Carroll Factor!!

Here, for your delight is the winning entry for the Star Wars Galaxies competition!

Name: The O’Carroll Factor

Species: “Large gooey space monster”™



The O’Carroll factor is perhaps one of the most sort after beings in the universe, its destructive power several times more powerful than that of the Deathstar. While no one who has seen the creature has lived, according to ancient legend the extremely large gooey monster lives in space, most of the time in a dormant sleep, however when woken it becomes so enradged that it is believed to engulf entire planets- Yes that’s right, Alderan wasn’t destroyed by the Deathstar, but infact it was just the O’Carroll Factor out snacking after the Deathstar’s destructo-ray missed the planet and struck the dormant O’Carroll Factor. Republic scientists where attempting to study the creature before the beginning of the clone war, what remains of their notes seem to suggest that this creature resembles the functions of a white blood cell, in the way that it engulfs anything in its path. On the planet of Elexis Prime, in a deep cavern where ancient Ewoks once lived was an alleged drawing (see attachment) of this legendary creature as it engulfed their civilisation – Could this be The O’Carroll Factor?!

With a picture too..




Special mentions must go to

mike_w for a superb entry, reading only slightly shorter than 'War and Peace' with a Ben Elton-esque little bit of politics... like it!

Fraggie for the vision of flying heat-seaking Wookies (and for getting the word 'asexual' in there... one of my favourites..)

Peter Blockley, for a nicely rounded piece, well based in the Star Wars universe and for getting the word 'transexual' in his... my second favourite word...

Tumble for an entry that demonstrates what the effects of drink can do to you...

Will Blockley for a mini-saga which we have already sold the film rights for...

And lastly to Russ, for an entry that shows not only what skiving off school can do to your spelling, but also how to amuse all the mods bar one, who then spends an hour banging his head on his keyboard.

Well done to andshrew, and huge thanks to those who took part.

With the permission of the others, I will post their entries on this thread, but only if others wish to see them.

[Tumble]

Drink??? cheeky monkey.... Well done to Andshrew... for a truly terrifying insight into the mind of.. someone....

[mike_w]

Come on, lets see everybody elses! I would post mine, but I think its just a tiny bit too long at over 500 words...

Congrats to andshrew

[andshrew]

Woohoo thanks guys

[Nick]

Ok, I'll post the others when I get home tonight.... don't forget though... you ASKED for it!

[Zak33]

they are PURE class......

[mike_w]

Originally Posted by Deckard

Ok, I'll post the others when I get home tonight.... don't forget though... you ASKED for it!

Can we have look at everybody else's then?

[Tumble]

Bumpity... you forgot matey????

[Nick]

Aww..no didn't forget... erm... oh right...erm... hang on....

[Tumble]

we believe ya

[Nick]

andshrew's winning entry

Name: The O’Carroll Factor

Species: “Large gooey space monster”™



The O’Carroll factor is perhaps one of the most sort after beings in the universe, its destructive power several times more powerful than that of the Deathstar. While no one who has seen the creature has lived, according to ancient legend the extremely large gooey monster lives in space, most of the time in a dormant sleep, however when woken it becomes so enradged that it is believed to engulf entire planets- Yes that’s right, Alderan wasn’t destroyed by the Deathstar, but infact it was just the O’Carroll Factor out snacking after the Deathstar’s destructo-ray missed the planet and struck the dormant O’Carroll Factor. Republic scientists where attempting to study the creature before the beginning of the clone war, what remains of their notes seem to suggest that this creature resembles the functions of a white blood cell, in the way that it engulfs anything in its path. On the planet of Elexis Prime, in a deep cavern where ancient Ewoks once lived was an alleged drawing (see attachment) of this legendary creature as it engulfed their civilisation – Could this be The O’Carroll Factor?!



Hexus Username- andshrew

Fraggie's entry:

Troglodog the Tituinian Boghamster started life as a small, unimpressive part of the universe. Born in a swamp to an Asexual boghamster parent named Bob, he wanders Tituine constantly looking for food, shelter from the flying Wookies (very rare but deadly with thier heat vision) and looking for a mate to carry on the gene pool. As you may gather by now Troglodog isn't the brightest sun in the sky as being an Asexual race.... well ill let u gather the rest.

Next, Mr.Blockley, but I don't know what his member name is

here goes a little biography on the bounty hunter Setso majigally, a rodian
born on mos espa his father was a 20 year old male fraud master from bespin
his mother was a transexual (unknown to his father....or him)
the first contract he had was a hutt called ghorkan the hutt (weighing in as
the heaviest hutt in the galaxy) setso got to the hutts hideout on tatooine
and had the stupid obese slug in a room by himself all he had to do was pull
the trigger on his tenloss disruptor rifle when he slipped on a puddle of
old ruby bliel and fell onto ghorkan, he was pulled into the hutts imense
fat and was subsequently sucked through a warp miss-placed inside the hutts
skin by a passing merchant ten years ago. the warp took him to a strange
group of nine planets with a sun in the centre of them the third of which,
apparently called earth, he appereared on and has been trying to get back to
his home ever since.



mike_w's entry

Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack (meaning hairy meatball in the tongue of the
Wookies) is a crossbreed - his mother was a Wookie and his father was a
Hutt. They first met when Prescott the Hutt found Blunkett the Wookie on
the street and mistook him for an extraordinarily hairy sausage. While he
originally planned to eat the sausage, he decided he couldn't eat the thing
he loved most (food in case you didn't realise). So instead, Prescott the
Hutt married Blunkett the Wookie.

It was only on their honeymoon that Prescott the Hutt realised that Blunkett
was, in fact, a Wookie. Prescott the Hutt promptly swallowed Blunkett
whole. By this point, Blunkett was already pregnant. Blunkett gave birth
to Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack while still in the stomach of Prescott the
Hutt. During the time they stayed there, they lived on the food that
Prescott the Hutt ate. Blunkett brought Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack up
within the confines of the stomach, and educated him in fighting, Wookie
traditions and different varieties of medium-sized bookmarks. They
developed a small city consisted of everyone that Prescott ate. Together,
they created a settlement that includes a trader's shop and a small barber.

After eating a particularly volatile curry, which included thermal
detonators and several stormtroopers still firing their rifles, Oooog Yak
Tak Nic Nic Whack was finally 'ejected' from Prescott the Hutt. However,
Blunkett stayed in Prescott the Hutt's stomach, and is believed to still be
living there, in the city Blunkett helped found, to this day.

Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack first began life outside of Prescott as a
bouncer of various nightclubs, where his experience with fighting traders
that didn't agree with Prescott the Hutt and had subsequently been swallowed
whole was invaluable. However, he only had one leg, since he was a cross
between a two-legged Wookie and a no-legged Hutt. This caused him great
difficulty in chasing people since you can only hop so fast with one leg.

Because of this, Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack quit from his job. He tried
many occupations, including producing weapons and manufacturing green
toothbrushes with little pictures of Jawas, yet none of these seemed to fir
Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack.

Eventually, he came across a medium-sized bookmark shop on Coruscant. Here,
he easily got a job, and the manager was impressed with his knowledge,
especially the fact he could name and accurately describe every medium-sized
bookmark made in the past three thousand years. His skill with weapons
allowed him to defend the shop against medium-sized bookmark-eating rodents.

While at the shop, he met a droid called HT-56. They fell in love and
together ran the medium-sized bookmark shop. They had a child called Oooog
Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack-57 (meaning hairy meatball with electrical insides).
Now, the three of them own the largest medium-sized bookmark company in the
known galaxy. (Although, to be honest, there isn't much competition.) At
long last, Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack had found the perfect place for
himself, but it wasn't to last.

HT-56 was closing the shop when it was attacked and stolen by Jawas. Despite
a valiant battle, it could not stop being taken away. Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic
Whack and Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack-57 began searching for HT-56, while at
the same time, bringing many criminals to justice. Their search continues
to this day.

Submitted by mike_w

Tumble's entry,

Character Name: a'Ynge tu*kjut (pronounced Hinge Jut)

Species: Jaboot

He's 300 years old this christmas, but where he's from, you're likely to get a labotomy rather than any presents for your birthday. The Jaboot are a viscious species, bent on warmongering and destruction, so it's no wonder, that a'Ynge, a pacifist in his own family, is one of the premier arms dealers in the galaxy. If you need something to blow another thing up, a'Ynge is your... slimy 'orrible.. thing....

His was not a happy childhood - his mother ate his father when he was a tadpole (a 4m long tadpole, no less) and then turned on him and had a nibble at his fins, cue 3m long tadpole. From that moment he was an outcast on his world and fled Jaboot'na to seek his fortunes in the galaxy. Suprisingly enough, he found the going easy - who wants to argue with something that can dissolve you just by sitting too close? and rose to fame as "The-slimy-get-who-can-lay-his-tentacles-on-anything-you-want-providing-the-price-is-right" Again, suprisingly, the price had a happy knack of always being 'right'; if it wasn't he'd rip your head off and take what he wanted anyway....

He's still big in the business he started nearly 200 years ago, but secretly confesses to wanting to retire to the beautiful water world of Ra'jonarii, and snack on it's inhabitants till he pops.

About the only other thing as disgusting and evil than a'Ynge tu*kjut is his 2nd cousin, Jabba the Hut, who we all know got his ass kicked by Skywalker.. and he aint even close.....

Entry from Will Blockley...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away lived an elderly lady, she had
been trained in the ways of the fork and would soon have prove her training
had paid off by eating her dinner! *oh dear god no!* Little did she know
that during this very dinner would she be called on to show her worth and
reclaim her lost son!!

She leaped up from the dinner table, and ran out the door. Not even grabbing
her coat! *what a silly girl.* She ran, ran the only way she knew how, one
foot in front of the other. She ran to the star port, and jumped into the
nearest Space transport, which so happened to belong to a man and wookie.
Picking up a rubber band and a VCR she knocked the wookie unconscious with a
swift "Judo Chop" to the groin. She then tied the man to the VCR and pressed
Eject, which fired a tape into the man's back, causing him to fall onto a
conviently placed skateboard, he glided along the floor and out of the door.
By this time the old lady was already in the aircraft named "The Millennium
Falcon." Taking off she turned to a cyborg saying "Not often you see an old
lady immobilising chav scum, eh?" The cyborg replied "Roger that - allow
myself to introduce myself as C3-PO." All the way to Naboo they discussed
why there was an increasing amount of chav scum about.

At naboo - The old lady (whose name we are still yet to learn) leapt out of
the star ship as energetically as an old lady. Armed with only the
information that her son was a 12ft tall naboo national guard warrior (and
her two arms) it was easy to a man who fitted the description. The first
thing he said when she met him was "I feel a disturbance..in my belly" and
proceeded to vomit 8 kinds of rainbow - he had a skin full, and was as drunk
as George Best on a good day.

It took the young man 3 days to fully recover. Only then did the women
realise that the man had lost his soul to Queen Amidala at a game of chess
in the royal place - she would have to get it back..but that is another
story.

And lastly, an entry from Russ

[Tumble]

omg... Russ shoulda won that


lol nice one chaps A truly mental group of utter utter nutters

[Zak33]

Mikes is pure pure class

Mike W
Oooog Yak Tak Nic Nic Whack (meaning hairy meatball in the tongue of the
Wookies) ....They first met when Prescott the Hutt found Blunkett the Wookie on
the street and mistook him for an extraordinarily hairy sausage

this is just superb

[mike_w]

Originally Posted by Tumble

lol nice one chaps A truly mental group of utter utter nutters

Thank you!

[blockers]

Well mine made me laugh....hehe reading it again im a bit embarressed

Bring on the next compo....sadly my entry is not going to well its painstaking work i tell you...photoshoping is a lot harder than you think it is...

[Pete]

Originally Posted by Deckard

Next, Mr.Blockley, but I don't know what his member name is

Pete is my hexus name, real original eh?
i was just annyoed when deckard said he had got pictures with some of them, curses!
but in the end the best man won, although IMO russ should have won
PETE