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Thread: serious lack of jokes on here!

  1. #65
    Does he need a reason? Funkstar's Avatar
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Two bird sitting on a perch, one says to the other: "Do you smell fish?"

  2. #66
    Get in the van. Fraz's Avatar
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    A man with a pair of jump leads walks into a pub. The landlord says, "You can come in, but don't start anything."

    -----

    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his trousers. The barman says, “Oi! Did you know you have a steering wheel attached to your willy?” The pirate replies, “Oo argh! It’s driving me nuts!”

    ---

    A man is lying in bed in hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.

    A young nurse appears to sponge his hands & feet.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands & feet."

    He struggles again to ask "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

    Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other hand and takes a close look. After a moment she says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"

    The man pulls off his oxygen mask & replies, "That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?"

  3. #67
    Get in the van. Fraz's Avatar
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store.
    He sits down at the bar and orders a beer.
    The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.
    The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!!
    GET OUT NOW!!
    so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.

    Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash.
    The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.
    The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?"

    The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"


  4. #68
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    What do you get if you cross a pigeon with a tyrannosaurus rex?












    Carnage in Trafalgar Square.
    _ _ _
    Vroomy

  5. #69
    Chillie in here j.o.s.h.1408's Avatar
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    LOL funny jokes, keep this thread alive, it amuses me at work hehe

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