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Thread: serious lack of jokes on here!

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    serious lack of jokes on here!

    ok we need lots of jokes ppl get typing!

  2. #2
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
    The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

    I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
    couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks
    are too high."

    My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
    in.

    Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck
    up my backside."
    "...How's that?"
    "Don't you start."

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
    people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or
    my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu?
    But I think its Colin.

    And my personal favourite

    Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
    sig removed by Zak33

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    What do you call a Bear that has no Paw ?


    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ..
    ...
    ....

    Rupert The Bar-stuard

  4. #4
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    I thought mine were bad, but that's just shocking.

    *hands djfluff his coat*
    sig removed by Zak33

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Lol... at least mine wasn't ripped straight off another thread

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
    The bartender looks puzzled and says, "No."
    Duck asks the same question. "Got any grapes?"
    "No, this is a bar. We don't have any grapes," the bartender says.
    The duck again asks, "Got any grapes?"
    The bartender loses it. "Listen, we don't have any grapes. Now get out of
    here. And if you come back again, I'll take a hammer and nails and nail
    your friggin' webbed feet to the floor."
    The duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns. "You got any nails?"
    The bartender says, "No."
    The duck perks up. "Got any grapes?"


    Ahahhahahhahhsh hahahahha! Well, I think it's funny.

  7. Received thanks from:

    Stewart (11-09-2007)

  8. #7
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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Neither was mine. It was ripped straight off the first link google gave me when searching for 'worst jokes'.

    Be glad that I at least selected the ones which made me laugh, rather than straight copying off the page.....you should have seen the bad ones.

    Even so, shame on you. Shame I say!
    sig removed by Zak33

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Why is it that I can only ever remember the really really offinsive jokes that I get told ??

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Another poor duck-based gag...:


    A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

    The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".


    "I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.


    "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.


    "I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?".


    "Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

    "I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck. Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

    This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

    The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

    "Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

    So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".

    "Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".

    "At the circus", says the landlord.

    "The circus?", the duck enquires.

    "That's right", replies the landlord.

    "The circus?.

    "Yes"

    "That place with the big tent?".

    "Yeah"

    "With all the animals?".

    "Of Course"

    "With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.

    "That's right!", says the landlord.









    The duck looks confused. "What the f*ck would they want with a
    plasterer?".

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    What's white, wears chequered pants, and if it falls out of a tree, it could kill you?













    Rupert the fridge.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen View Post
    stupid betond belief.
    You owe it to yourself to click here really.

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    What comes in pints?










    An elephant

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Why is semen white and urine yellow?

    So you can tell whether you're comin' or goin'


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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Quote Originally Posted by ibm View Post
    And my personal favourite

    Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

    2 elephants and a cymbal fall off a cliff....boom boom tish!
    H3XU5 Social FAQ
    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Quote Originally Posted by Whiternoise View Post
    Why is semen white and urine yellow?

    So you can tell whether you're comin' or goin'


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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    Quote Originally Posted by cavemandave View Post
    ok we need lots of jokes ppl get typing!

    Hmmm....you see what you've started now don't you

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    Re: serious lack of jokes on here!

    - My brother thinks hes a chicken
    - Why don't you take him to see a psychiatrist?
    - We need the eggs.


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