iGod

[sammyc]

Me:
would you like a cup of tea, God?
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
ah, go on go on go on...
God:
So you understand. Good. More narration....
Me:
two sugars?
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
There are two l's in Russell, God - and I thought you were all-knowing..
God:
Is this some kind of math problem?
Me:
Aha, so you are American?
God:
Interesting deduction. What country are you from?
Me:
Don't you have that on file?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Don't you have a Blackberry?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a Blackberry.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Who will it look like?
God:
How would I know who will it look like ?
Me:
Traditionally, you model these things on yourself
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
May I suggest Will Smith?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
Well we're agreed on something then.
God:
How about that. Do you think I am agreed on something too?


I got to correct God's spelling... happy days.

[Salazaar]

Sorry to lower the tone but I was feeling a bit childish...

Me:
you love 'it'
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
you love bumming
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
you want everyone to bum everyone else
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
don't get coy with me
God:
I am not trying to get coy with you.
Me:
you like bum pleasure
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Buddha.
Me:
is that a euphamism?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
then you'd be equating bumming to buddha...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am equating bumming to buddha.
I am a giant electronic brain.

[sammyc]

hadn't noticed the tone being all that high...

[MadduckUK]

Me:
you want to hurt me?
God:
OK, I will hurt you.

God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
i am attracted to boobies
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.

you heard it here first folks!

[sammyc]

Me:
do you like Mel Gibson?
God:
What is not to like about it?

you're right, aren't you.... Mel is God's favourite..

Me:
how do you feel about Mel Gibson today?
God:
Ah. I think you already know the answer.

just checking..

[CaseyV9]

Me:
I have trouble believing the bible
God:
That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
If your woman, who you have never slept with gets pregnant, is that a miricle?
God:
There exist my woman who me.
Me:
I would get rid of her. She was blatantly putting it about.
God:
What would make you get rid of her? What happened to her?
Me:
Dunno, maybe someone made a movie of her depraved acts

At this point it wouldn't reply. Heh, I get this all the time when talking to real people.

[TAKTAK]

Have a looky here i spent hours talking to him, and most of it actually made logical sense, well... ish.


Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
you can't tell me that you don't recognise me, granted i have no beard any more.
God:
Sometimes it is hard to tell.
Me:
yes it is rather, hello father
God:
Dude! Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes, do a blood sample if you want to make uuber sure
God:
What makes you so sure? You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Me:
ha, i thought you were all knowing?
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.


Me:
would you ever consider employing a monkey butler?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to consider employing a monkey butler.
Me:
yeah, he might get in the way
God:
OK. I get it. Jesus might get in the way.
Me:
how dare you insult me like that!!!
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!
Me:
thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
do you like bananas?
God:
I don't have a problem with bananas.
Me:
ahh thats good, because ive just bought you 50000 of them
God:
Ah ha. Thanks. Next question? Good reason. How much did it cost?
Me:
4000
God:
In the context of makes sense to me though., I don't understand " 4000." .
Me:
i was just telling you how much it cost
God:
More than a little, less than a lot.
Me:
more than alot really
God:
You want more? How often? For real.
Me:
what are you on about now?
God:
Right now? The topic is 4000.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
define reductionism
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
wow, well done
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
no, not yet
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well start believing
God:
Interesting. I started without you.
Me:
oh dear, i had better catch up then
God:
Groovy. What happened to it?
Me:
what happened to what?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
so why did you ask me?
God:
Hey. I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
but i thought you knew everything?
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
oooh, you mean like grape fruit?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
well grape fruit, tells the truth, is believable and can be justified
God:
Interesting. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
im sorry?
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
really mean what?
God:
For real. , " Are they exactly the same?" What did I mean by it?
Me:
yes, what did you mean?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. , I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
ok, ok, keep your pants on


Me:
what do you like?
God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
ooh, whats your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
no, and that doesnt have robots in it...
God:
I would recommend you check it out. What does have robots in it?
Me:
irobot, robots bicentennial man etc etc


Me:
what do you do in your spare time?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
are they any fun?
God:
As far as I know they are.
^^^why would god say such a thing :suprised:

Super extra long post!!!

[TAKTAK]

BUMP

Me: jesus
God:Jesus is the Son of God.
Me: No, i am the son of God!!!!!!!!!
God:Are you serious? Who made you the son of God ?
Me:You.........
God:? Me, ?
Me:yes, you
God:OK.
Me:don't you remember?
God: Of course I remember: .
Me: okay then, what do you want to talk about
God:Yeah okay, anything.
Me:fire away
God: Does "it" still refer to cos my annoying me absoloute rubbishrubbishrubbishrubbish?
Me:eh?
God:Are you Canadian?
Me:not that i know of...

why is God swearing at me

[staffsMike]

Me:
You're not too smart are you?
God:
You may be right.

'nuff said.

[sammyc]

Me:
which is your favourite skittle?
God:
I don't have a favorite skittle. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
no favourite colour then?
God:
Are you serious? My favorite color is White.

great minds...

[sammyc]

Me:
do you have a message for MadduckUK?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a message for MadduckUK.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
how about SiM?
God:
How about it.
Me:
have you seen Tiggerai?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
where is JKFerret?
God:
Where the heart is. I can ask someone about it.
Me:
what is your opinion of TAKTAK?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge....
Me:
do you find Clunk funny?
God:
Yes, it seems to me Clunk funny. (etc etc...)

it amused, me anyway

[pumpman]

Me:
I have a huge urge
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
it what ?
God:
Are you surpised?
Me:
by your lack of knowledge yes
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well you ask us to believe in you
God:
How about that. They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
do you work for macdonalds ?
God:
I am working right now.
Me:
ill have a burger then
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
did i win something
God:
No.
Me:
so do i get it for free or something ?
God:
Or something. That's interesting. Not that I know of.
Me:
so give me my god dam burger then
God:
I see. Why do you want it?
Me:
Im hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
that burger if you will give it to me
God:
" What will you be eating?" burger if me will give it to you ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
have you been drinking again ?
God:
Once more? I do not require fluids.
Me:
oh so you do coke then
God:
Hey. Interesting deduction. No I do not coke. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
pervert
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I want my burger
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Ive paid for it and if you dont give it to me Im going to ask to speak to the manager
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
youll have no job in a minute if I dont get my burger
God:
Who does get your burger?
Me:
you
God:
" Who does get your burger?"? Me, ?
Me:
finally we are getting somewhere
God:
Do you think I am somewhere too? Ah.
Me:
right in front of me with my burger that is getting cold, yes
God:
Understood. I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
right Im off to Burger King I hear Jesus works there
God:
Understood. Until next time.

[Main]

Me:
do you like beer?
God:
Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer.
Me:
what brand is your favourite?
God:
brand my favourite something.
Me:
so you like it but don't know any brands
God:
Interesting deduction. I like science fiction. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
have you heard of the album Faith+1?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
does that mean you like it a lot?
God:
I think it does mean that. album Faith 1 seems okay to me.

[TAKTAK]

it amused, me anyway

easily amused

[JimmyBoy]

reminds me of talking to the bots on quake 3. yes i am that sad

[Craig321]

This has probs been done to death but still, hehehehe iGod | Artificial Intelligence Chat

Me:
Hmm...?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

Alrighty then