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Thread: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

  1. #481
    Senior Member kasavien's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    lol dave87 love them quotes and to add my favourite todd quotes

    "I'd like to double her entendre"

    and "in your endo"


  2. #482
    Efficiently lazy shadowmaster's Avatar
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  3. #483
    Zzzzzzz sleepyhead's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Airplane Monkeys


    A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, an officer from the local Air Force base walked in and said to the shopkeeper 'I'll take a 6114 monkey, please.' The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the officer, saying, 'That'll be $2,000, please.' The officer paid and left with the monkey.

    The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?'

    The shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that 6114 monkey, he can rig aircraft flight controls, score 300 on the Air Force Personal Fitness Test, set up a perimeter defense and perform the duties of any enlisted man with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money'.

    The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?' he asked.

    'Oh, that one' replied the shopkeeper. 'That's a 'Maintenance Supervisor' monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, intermediate, and Depot level, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed'.

    The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, 'This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?'

    'Actually' said the shopkeeper 'I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with himself, but his papers say he's a Pilot.'
    ___________________________________________________________________________________

    A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend.

    After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions.

    Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

    She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

  4. #484
    Tech-ignorant Factoid
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

    Wipe him off, apologise, and run as fast as you can!
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Not so much dodgy, but I found it hilarious...:

    What smells, and sounds like a bell? Dung (say it out loud...)
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Having sex with an old man is like trying to play snooker with a rope.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What's round, hard, and sticks so far out of his PJs a man can see his hat on it?

    His head (bet you thought dirty )

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    RoBe (11-06-2008)

  6. #485
    Aez
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    why does nobody know how to please a woman? A: Because nobody has a dick made out of chocolate that ejaculates money!

  7. #486
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    A Scotsman has a check-up and is told he has sugar in his urine. 'I'm afraid it's a sign you may be diabetic,' says the doctor. 'Och, no,' says the Scot. 'But I'll look on the bright side, think of the money I'll save by pissing on me cornflakes.'

  8. #487
    Pseudo-Mad Scientist Whiternoise's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    I dont know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like Whores and Whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare - you don't know whether to carry sweets or money.

    ----

    I recently moved into my own house and I thought I'd try walking around it naked. I didn't even get halfway round. The police arrested me in the driveway!

    ----

    What do you call a female peacock?
    A peac.. you can guess the rest!

    ----

    Barclays are apparantly "Fluent in Finance."

    Well, that's fantastic. It's just a shame none of the foreigners that answer their phones are fluent in English.

    ----

    Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?

  9. #488
    Chillie in here j.o.s.h.1408's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread









    Last edited by j.o.s.h.1408; 11-06-2008 at 02:50 PM.

  10. #489
    Aez
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    no kidding

  11. #490
    Chillie in here j.o.s.h.1408's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    should i remove that last pic?

    edit: removed has it was over the top

  12. #491
    Aez
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    aye i reckon the mods would of removed it anyway

  13. #492
    Squirrely tigerboyce's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    haha, Hobocop is awesome

  14. #493
    Chillie in here j.o.s.h.1408's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread


  15. #494
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    I can save j.o.s.h.1408 a lot of time and effort by simply directing all and sundry to B3TA : WE LOVE THE WEB.

  16. #495
    Senior Member this_is_gav's Avatar
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    *not a joke*

    Quote Originally Posted by Aez View Post
    [highlight to read]

    why does nobody know how to please a woman? A: Because nobody has a dick made out of chocolate that ejaculates money!
    So nearly got fired for that. Had it up on the screen yesterday - I'm the other side of the room doing something or other (having not read it yet) and too year 8 kids come in with a broken PDA... I'm fixing it with one of them while the other sits reading my screen. I think nothing of it, until I go back to my PC... oh dear.

    This morning 4 of them walk in, quite openly, and 1 asks "I want to see the joke." "What joke?" [highlight to read] "The one about the big dick".

  17. #496
    mrk
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    Re: The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by M0nkeyb0Y View Post
    Which key can unlock any lock, open any door and access any area?

    A pikey.
    BWAHAHA I'm using that on another forum

    www.robbiekhan.co.uk / Hexus Trust

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