Q: What's the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday evening.
An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday.
A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
The credit crunch is getting bad, isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow a tenner a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now Britain's fourth biggest lender.
Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW
Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four
Q: What does a hedge fund manager with no fund to manage say?
A: Would you like fries with that sir?
Q: What is the capital of Iceland?
A: About £3.50
And my presonal fave....
I tried to get cash from the ATM today but it said "insufficient funds." I don't know if that meant them or me.