The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

[Whiternoise]

As i said, admins are free to remove the joke, i understand that it could be overly offensive. My personal take on it was not "oh har har lets laugh at all the people with mental disabilities".

However, a better route would have been to simply flag the post, and let the admins deal with it.

BUT. Please understand that whatever the joke is, SOMEONE is going to find it not funny. People will find jokes about death very unfunny because a loved one has just died, people will find religious jokes unfunny because they passionately believe in their God. And no, it doesn't give me carte blanche to "have a go" at mentally imparied people, but then in this politically correct world in which we live, what is "acceptable"? Just because a joke strikes a chord with one person doesn't mean that they should pee on everyone elses bonfire.

As i said, i completely apologise for any bad taste on your part, and let me make it quite clear that i don't think it's funny for the reasons that you're suggesting. I'm not an insensitive git, i don't go around laughing at people who obviously can't help the condition they're in for whatever reason.

I'll remove it (ie the original post) out of respect, but i'm leaving the one above so that Nick or whoever has a reference to go by.

@monkeyville, i assume that's tongue in cheek?

[chuckskull]

Seems fitting;

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane?

A pilot. You racist!

As for offensive jokes about xyz minority/majority. All people are equal and all are different, perhaps if we embraced and laughed at our differences instead of starting arguments over them the world would be a better place? Now can we get to back to laughing at dodgy jokes?

[schmunk]

Lets see that if (god forbid) in the future, you have a mentally handicapped child, if you think there 'is worse' and that you 'wont find it offensive'!

I guarantee you will and i find your comment that either of a child or an idiot without any kind of compassion.

I dont FOR ONE SECOND hope that anything like this EVER affects your family but if it does, the penny may drop that its just not funny (to people that have a thought process anyway).

As far as it being the 'Well Dodgy Joke Thread', do you really think that it gives you an open forum to have a go at mentally impaired people.
If you think thats the case then you really are lacking in any kind of social way.
If or when the ADMINS decide to comment on this is sincerely hope they agree that your joke wasnt dodgy....it was in VERY bad taste. I am surised that someone such as yourself can be that insensitive and infantile.

Trust me, if you spent just an hour in my shoes (caring for my daughter), you wouldnt feel i was being 'over sensitive'.
I am actually 100% sure you would think you 'joke' was as pathetic as i think it is.

OK, so your raw nerve has been touched.

Now imagine that I have a Pakistani child (or Indian, Bangladeshi, whatever - they're all the same). Do you think I might be sensitive to jokes making fun of their perceived disability (i.e. that of not being a white British male who likes lager and burds and offensive jokes)?

You clearly feel that others should empathise with your situation, why not try empathising with the situations of others, and not making any stereotyped jokes?

(oh, by the way, you're allowed to make jokes about people's attitudes because they're chosen, rather than innate - the people in question can do something about them, but have chosen not to).

[Blitzen]

OK, so your raw nerve has been touched.

Now imagine that I have a Pakistani child (or Indian, Bangladeshi, whatever - they're all the same). Do you think I might be sensitive to jokes making fun of their perceived disability (i.e. that of not being a white British male who likes lager and burds and offensive jokes)?

You clearly feel that others should empathise with your situation, why not try empathising with the situations of others, and not making any stereotyped jokes?

(oh, by the way, you're allowed to make jokes about people's attitudes because they're chosen, rather than innate - the people in question can do something about them, but have chosen not to).

Thats is total ****e.
I havent said it is OK to poke fun at anyone.

The RAW NERVE you talk about is real and all I want is tiny minds like you to consider your words and actions before letting yourself spout.

[Nick]

Ok, Whiternoise has removed the joke himself and apologised which is as much as anyone can ask, especially on a forum.

It's not fair at all to say that he or schmunk are small minded; schmunk's point about innate and chosen traits is actually quite valid.

I understand that this is a very touchy point for you and apologise for not dealing with it sooner but I had to deal with a family matter this weekend which, quite honestly, puts this bickering into a whole new frame of reference.

Sadly, whether you like them or not, stereotypical jokes are here to stay and it's the very nature of the caricatured, over-emphasised traits that make them funny... that's how those types of jokes work.

I think in this day and age, other than if you're only source of reference is BNP pamphlets or some other extremist, unbalanced source, grown adults are fully able to see that such stereotypes do not exist in real life... and further, that belonging to such a group is not an attack on them directly... or I'd be going through deleting every post about God, Jesus, men, adults, computer nerds, gamers, drivers, caravan owners, house owners, cat owners, Mitsubishi owners, non-nudists, omnivorous, coffee drinking and parents.

However, things change dramatically when it comes to your children and God-forbid anyone even daring to draw breath to make a joke that might include my kids in the group being made fun of. Parents are naturally supremely defensive of their kids, it's only natural and entirely right that Blitzen should feel so strongly on the topic.

So the answer is a simple one... just be aware of who's reading these jokes and respond accordingly.

Whiternoise didn't know and, once he found out, removed the post himself and apologised, which is as much as anyone can ask for.

If you lot want to discuss it further then feel free to PM ME, not each other, and I'll deal with it as time allows.

[Blitzen]

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

Have you seen those new adverts for the Citroen C5 car? Basically they are marketing it as an "Unmistakably German" car that turns out to be French. What the hell does that mean? A car that goes around starting wars and then immediately surrenders?

<-- REMOVED AS PER REQUEST -->

I went to a Premature Ejaculation Anonymous meeting the other day but nobody was there.
I think I came too early.

Me = Over sensitive ......... Probably
Me = Natural Reaction = Definitely

Me = Appreciate your deletion .......... Thankyou and i apologise for my reaction. I can see your point and hopefully you can see mine

[j.o.s.h.1408]

man u lot need to bloody chill. this is a dirty joke thread guys lets nto ruin this with all this bitter agument that could eventualy force mods to close this thread which will be a damm shame

[schmunk]

man u lot need to bloody chill. this is a dirty joke thread guys lets nto ruin this with all this bitter agument that could eventualy force mods to close this thread which will be a damm shame

Dodgy, not dirty. THis is a family forum, folks.

[mycarsavw]

man u....

Nice cloaked joke there - well done - man u, what a joke

[Whiternoise]

Cheers for clearing this up Nick!

And thanks for being understanding Blitzen!

To the jokes:

My girlfriend pulled up a chair earlier and said "we need to talk about our future".

I said "yeah, it's gonna be mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"

I'm now single.

-------------

I slept with one of those 'high class' prostitutes the other week. I'm not happy though, the ***** gave me lobsters.

-------------

A head nun goes to a grocers shop and asks for 122 bananas.

The grocer says, "if you're buying that many, its more economical to buy 144 in a box, I could give you a discount then."

"Okay," replies the nun, "I suppose we could always eat the other 22."

-----------

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

[Whiternoise]

Shhhhhh!!.......
Don't tell anyone...... I'm gonna go down on you....
...And you're gonna love it...........
........But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it........
....Then I'm gonna come back up again and make sweet love to you big time.....

Lots of love,
Petrol prices xx

[Nick]

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up : 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.' Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'Screw the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little git. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him - 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Damn, , we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think its Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe , 2008.'

[finlay666]

www.smouch.net/lol/

safe for work...just turn the volume down



...and dont hate me

[IBM]

Why did the tiger get lost in the jungle?

The jungle's bloody massive.










Don't blame me, blame Jimmy Carr, but I'll get my coat anyway

[RoBe]

www.smouch.net/lol/

safe for work...just turn the volume down



...and dont hate me

me \/

^you

[Brucelles]

A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a handgun. He shouts "this is a raid!!" - everyone get on the floor, and he proceeds to empty the cash drawers.

As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer leaps up and yanks off his balaclava.

The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts.. "Did anybody else here see my face?"

The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also.

"Did anybody else see my face?" he shouts again, waving his gun around.

There is silence for a few seconds before an elderly male voice is heard from a distant corner..

"I think my missus caught a glimpse...."