The Well Dodgy Joke Thread

[shadowmaster]

Teh jokes are all over teh interwebs. Ask 0iD, he knows that well

0iD is my role model

[schmunk]

I'd argue the second one wasn't racist or xenophobic in the slightest.

It's poking fun at us (myself as a born and bred Briton), the English being slowly screwed by the government.

I'm sure the BNP would give the same answer.

You may not be hate-filled, but that joke is.

[Gerrard]

How many of us would love to do this?

[baius]

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

* The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
...

I wonder if a man or a woman wrote this. [I have a theory.]

[d_b]

Maria had just married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous. Her mother reassured her: "Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta."

So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."

"Don't worry, Maria," said her mother, "all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his trousers exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his trousers and he's got hairy legs!"

"Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

Her Mama said, "Stay here and stir the pasta for me."

[Gerrard]

A recent survey done on the Seven Dwarfs found 6 out of 7 of them weren't Happy.

(Probably a repost, but someone told me this today and I thought it was quite funny. )

[Georgy291]

Quick Word Game

Turn "SEAL" into "COAT" in four moves

SEAL
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _

COAT

answer:

SEAL

CLUB
CLUB
CLUB
CLUB

COAT

[finlay666]

SEAL
1. SEAT
2. SOAT ~(Snakes on a train)
3. COAT
COAT

[schmunk]

Quick Word Game

Turn "SEAL" into "COAT" in four moves

SEAL
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _

COAT

answer:

SEAL

CLUB
CLUB
CLUB
CLUB

COAT

SEAL

KILL
SKIN
CLEAN
TAILOR

COAT

Surely...?




Or perhaps (actually in four moves):

SEAL

SEAT
MEAT
MOAT

COAT

[Georgy291]

nah lol

old club club club club sounds better

oh and btw before anyone desides to call me sick i got it off sikipedia i found it helerious and thought people on hexus might like it

by no means i suport clubing of seals

[MadduckUK]

by no means i suport clubing of seals

if you have no means, how do you support it?

[Georgy291]

erm i dont?

[MadduckUK]

im getting mixed messages here

[finlay666]

oh and btw before anyone desides to call me sick i got it off sikipedia i found it helerious and thought people on hexus might like it

That sentence is funnier than the joke.

You posted it, no one forced you to 'share' it with us.

[Mblaster]

So, a seal walks into a club...

[MadduckUK]

...bartender says "what you having?"