'The latest salvo in creationism's increasingly ferocious battle with evolution is about to be fired in Lancashire. Not in a fiery sermon preached from the pulpit, but in the form of a giant Christian theme park that will champion the book of Genesis and make a multi-media case that God created the world in seven days.'
Aye. Forget reason, forget logic, forget sanity, forget carbon dating, forget modern scientific methods, WE WILL CONTINUE TO WORSHIP THE MOON UNTIL YOU ALL WORSHIP IT WITH US. HAIL TO THE MOON! THE MOON WHO GIVES US LIFE! THE MOON WHO IS POWERFULL AND WISE! (And the Sun)
'Peter Jones, one of the Lancashire theme park's trustees, said the emphasis would be on multimedia rather than the costume re-enactments of famous biblical scenes favoured at Holy Land. 'It will be a halfway house for youngsters,' Jones said. 'Today all they do is binge drink. We will be able to offer them an alternative.'
Yup – binge drinking. Thats all they do. Scientific fact. Every single youngster in England spends every single second of every single day drinking. And not only drinking, but binge drinking.
And why? Because they don't accept that God made the Earth in 6 days a few thousand years ago, that's why. Isn't it obvious? I think it is. If you don't agree then THE DEVIL LIVES IN YOUR EYES AND HAS TRICKED YOU PROBABLY BY HIDING DINOSAUR BONES IN THE GROUND AS WELL AS CONVINCING PEOPLE HE DOESN'T EXIST! WORSHIP THE MOON AND STOP BINGE DRINKING! THIS IS THE 14TH CENTURY AFTER ALL. THE MOON! WORHSHIP IT! (And the Sun)
'By producing its own films, the trust believes it will be able to provide an antidote to modern culture. It says on its website: 'On television today there is so much sex and violence, it is no wonder our youth are binge drinking ... This is a revolutionary scheme requiring innovative people with the vision to bring about change and a new direction.'
Again, completely true. Again, proven scientific fact.
Take a youth, a bog standard youth. Put said youth in a room. Put in aforementioned room a TV and a table. Put on said aforementioned table some drink. Turn on aforementioned said TV. Put on said TV religious programmes, observe behaviour of aforementioned said aforementioned youth. Observe youth contemplating the human condition, composing great works of literature, and doing good deeds.
Now remove religious programmes from TV and replace with sex. OBSERVE HOW THE YOUTH NOW FROTHS AT THE MOUTH, BINGE DRINKING AND WORSHIPING SATAN, SHUNING MOON WORSHIP IN FAVOUR OF BEATING SMALLER CHILDREN AROUND THE HEAD WITH THE DINOSAUR BONES THE DEVIL HAS HIDDEN IN THE ROOM!
CHANGE THE CHANNEL! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHANGE THE ******* CHANNEL! ARRRGGGH!
'Evolution has falsely become the foundation of our society and we need the television studio to advocate Genesis across this land in order to remove this falsehood, which presently is destroying the church foundation.'
WORSHIP THE MOON! DON'T BELIEVE THE LIES SCIENCE TEACHES YOU! I'M NOT MAD, I JUST LIVE IN THE PAST! WORSHIP THE MOON! (Just don't mention all the Priests sexually abusing children or Dinosaur bones plz)
'Wigan council slammed the door in our faces. You mention the C [Christian] word, and people don't want to know,' Jones said.'
We don't want to know because all the sane people have moved on from these pathetic fairy stories, me old mucker. People like you are out of date now, fossils. Just like Dinosaur bones.
Alton Towers must be shaking in their boots.