HELP i'm being abused

[ERU]

At first, me and Gollum were getting along just fine, we just had a load of fun and well... I liked the guy.

But then I made the mistake of mentioning his speech impediment, smell and general appereance to some of our friends, and he got word of that. Since then, living with Gollum has been a proper hell.

He's been hitting me dailly now and I don't think I can take him on. He's really strong for such a small little creature.

Please tell me what to do, as I'm getting really scared of him and I really, really want out of this mess.

Thanks in advance guys!

[Stringent]

Buy him some high quality fish to say sorry ...

Or find a nice gold ring for Valentines

[5lab]

give him you're precious..

[Theo]

Wring his scrawny little neck whilst he's sleeping? When he goes to sit down on a rock, put an empty champagne bottle underneath him quickly? Vaseline on the toilet seat? Ketchup in his underwear?

Pritt-stick on the eyelids, perhaps?

[Blub2k]

Throw his ring in the fire, it has been known to irk him a little.

[Mozzer]

rubbishrubbishrubbishrubbish in his socks.

[floppybootstomp]

powdered glass in his erection cream should do the trick

[Raz316]

"erection cream" ??

actually, i dont want to know.

[Skeps]

powdered glass in his erection cream should do the trick

OOOOOOHHHH, Man thats gotta hurt a tad, me eyes are waterin just thinkin bout it

[bertie]

teeeheehee @ floppybootstomp

cool this thread id is 13337

[Blub2k]

ah now we know why it's called floppy ....precious!

[floppybootstomp]

ah now we know why it's called floppy ....precious!

Walked right into that one didn't I?

[daniel_owen_uk]

Jiz on his pillow

[Swafe]

sorry but who is gollem??

i think powedered glass is enuff to take down any full size man tbh

[shiato storm]

boil rabbits...

[Allen]

Is this just a p take or do you know a guy nicknamed Gollum?

If so, I'd suggest using a piece of 2x4 next time he comes near ya...