X-Factor - I guess a sob story is better then being able to sing...

Christ on a bike, am I sick and tired of the sob stories being wheeled out by contestants on the X Factor...

Ok, it's a tacky as hell show but the attraction for me is the car-crash TV aspect of talentless no-hopers wheeling themselevs in front of the judges and being genuinely amazed when they're told that the two minutes of screeching does not equate to a decent singing voice.

Of course, there is the more than slightly worrying aspect of there being so many deluded people in the world that think that dressing as a completely crap imitation of Michael Jackson makes them star material.... but then that's the attraction of the show.

But worse than that is the bunch of semi-talented wannabes with some awful sob story that's supposed to tug at the hearts strings of the judges and, if they make it through to the finals, the general public too.

It's becoming something of a Tutankhamen's Curse to have a loved one go on the show... as it's pretty much guaranteed that someone will be dead, missing or horrifically injured before the first auditions...

Through to the finals we've got a recovered drug addict with 4 kids, three of whom are in care, a widower whose wife died shortly after giving birth, a teenager brought up by her dad when her mum died and an orphan who just wants to find his real parents.

Now given that Daniel Evens seems like a straight up geezer I'm happy to knock him off the sob-story list because he hasn't brought it up over and over again every time the cameras are on him. The same goes for Amy Connolly, though her mum died 11 years previously and, I suspect the editing team had more of a part to play in making this out to be more than it was...

But now to Rachel Hylton, who, in my humble opinion, is possibly one of the most obnoxious people ever to appear on the show. First kid at thirteen, then two more kids and a drug habit before a stint in prison and another kid... and now she's on the straight and anrrow... and we're to congratulate her for that?

Sorry, since when should we be congratulating someone for NOT being a slapper-druggie with a criminal record? It's as if staying out of prison, not doing drugs and looking after one of your FOUR kids is something to aspire to! Jesus, she's not even living up to her responsibilities to ALL her kids and now she's being wheeled out as some sort of reformed character being given a second chance in life.

For sure, everyone deserves a second chance but they don't deserve any sympathy.

And finally, the cream of the crop is Alan Turner, who spun a sob story about wanting to find his real parents as he's been in foster care since forever. Except the foster parent at the original audtion was his Nan. And he lived with his mum for a while. And he still speaks to his dad and even phoned him up a few weeks ago... So he's fulfilled his ambition of finding his parents, nevermind the fact he'd never actually lost them, but so what? It was a good sob story.

Apparently, Alan Turner has made the final 24... and X Factor producers say he's not going to get kicked off the show... Maybe they're waiting to see what the public reaction is? After all, this is about finding a bankable star and making a fortune off the phone-in votes and competitions, so if they think people won't vote for him, he'll be gone soon enough.

Superbly, lovely waxy haired Alan has come up with two half-arsed excuses for his orphan story... one saying that he was 'confused' and meant to say that he just wanted to get to know his parents better... so why see and call his dad regularly if he doesn't know him. The second is that he was abused by a gay male friend of his lesbian mother... which opens up a whole can of worms for a proper backlash from the gay community, and deservedly so for the lying little sod.

Anyway, that's me done watching the X Factor for another year... the auditions are the only decent thing about the show, as I said earlier... the rest is all based on finding a marketable pawn to keep Cliff Richard off the Christmas Number One slot before slipping into utter obscurity forever more.

Next year I'm going to be on the show... except I haven't yet got a decent sob story sorted out. I was thinking of going for something along the lines of a worst week ever where a close relative dies, then I go home to a house blaze, get badly burned trying to rescue someone, have to have a lung removed and then, whilst recovering, discover I've got a progressive illness that means I'll be blind in five years... It's got all the hero/tragedy/bravery/against-the-odds/fighter-in-the-face-of-adversity elements they'll love... Oh, and I'll turn up all bloodied having been mugged on the tube on the way to the audition.... and that'll be me singing "It's my dream and I made it on my own" or some such other crappy sentiment as the Christmas number one for 2009! :)

Well I got about three lines through that and realised that I just don't care about it at all, not even enough to read a rant about how bad it is.

Keep up the good work Nick :)

haha yeah one line in and thought life's ticking.

I try and keep away from this kind of show tbh.

My flatmate likes to watch things like this on tv.

I find its a good time to clean my toilet, its much more fun than xfactor if i use my tounge.

I've got the feeling you want to get something off your chest nick?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

Christ on a bike, am I sick and tired of the sob stories being wheeled out by contestants on the X Factor...

Ok, it's a tacky as hell show but the attraction for me is the car-crash TV aspect of talentless no-hopers wheeling themselevs in front of the judges and being genuinely amazed when they're told that the two minutes of screeching does not equate to a decent singing voice.

Of course, there is the more than slightly worrying aspect of there being so many deluded people in the world that think that dressing as a completely crap imitation of Michael Jackson makes them star material.... but then that's the attraction of the show.

But worse than that is the bunch of semi-talented wannabes with some awful sob story that's supposed to tug at the hearts strings of the judges and, if they make it through to the finals, the general public too.

It's becoming something of a Tutankhamen's Curse to have a loved one go on the show... as it's pretty much guaranteed that someone will be dead, missing or horrifically injured before the first auditions...

Through to the finals we've got a recovered drug addict with 4 kids, three of whom are in care, a widower whose wife died shortly after giving birth, a teenager brought up by her dad when her mum died and an orphan who just wants to find his real parents.

Now given that Daniel Evens seems like a straight up geezer I'm happy to knock him off the sob-story list because he hasn't brought it up over and over again every time the cameras are on him. The same goes for Amy Connolly, though her mum died 11 years previously and, I suspect the editing team had more of a part to play in making this out to be more than it was...

But now to Rachel Hylton, who, in my humble opinion, is possibly one of the most obnoxious people ever to appear on the show. First kid at thirteen, then two more kids and a drug habit before a stint in prison and another kid... and now she's on the straight and anrrow... and we're to congratulate her for that?

Sorry, since when should we be congratulating someone for NOT being a slapper-druggie with a criminal record? It's as if staying out of prison, not doing drugs and looking after one of your FOUR kids is something to aspire to! Jesus, she's not even living up to her responsibilities to ALL her kids and now she's being wheeled out as some sort of reformed character being given a second chance in life.

For sure, everyone deserves a second chance but they don't deserve any sympathy.

And finally, the cream of the crop is Alan Turner, who spun a sob story about wanting to find his real parents as he's been in foster care since forever. Except the foster parent at the original audtion was his Nan. And he lived with his mum for a while. And he still speaks to his dad and even phoned him up a few weeks ago... So he's fulfilled his ambition of finding his parents, nevermind the fact he'd never actually lost them, but so what? It was a good sob story.

Apparently, Alan Turner has made the final 24... and X Factor producers say he's not going to get kicked off the show... Maybe they're waiting to see what the public reaction is? After all, this is about finding a bankable star and making a fortune off the phone-in votes and competitions, so if they think people won't vote for him, he'll be gone soon enough.

Superbly, lovely waxy haired Alan has come up with two half-arsed excuses for his orphan story... one saying that he was 'confused' and meant to say that he just wanted to get to know his parents better... so why see and call his dad regularly if he doesn't know him. The second is that he was abused by a gay male friend of his lesbian mother... which opens up a whole can of worms for a proper backlash from the gay community, and deservedly so for the lying little sod.

Anyway, that's me done watching the X Factor for another year... the auditions are the only decent thing about the show, as I said earlier... the rest is all based on finding a marketable pawn to keep Cliff Richard off the Christmas Number One slot before slipping into utter obscurity forever more.

Next year I'm going to be on the show... except I haven't yet got a decent sob story sorted out. I was thinking of going for something along the lines of a worst week ever where a close relative dies, then I go home to a house blaze, get badly burned trying to rescue someone, have to have a lung removed and then, whilst recovering, discover I've got a progressive illness that means I'll be blind in five years... It's got all the hero/tragedy/bravery/against-the-odds/fighter-in-the-face-of-adversity elements they'll love... Oh, and I'll turn up all bloodied having been mugged on the tube on the way to the audition.... and that'll be me singing "It's my dream and I made it on my own" or some such other crappy sentiment as the Christmas number one for 2009! :)

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Well I'm like you I only watch up until they have only got the people that can actually sing.. well.. mostly.

The sob stories do seem to get more and more pathetic as time goes on. Some of them of course, you do actually feel sorry for, but some like the woman you mention I just can't be bothered with.

As for your sob story, tell them you had an adverse reaction to being tazered and you could die at any minute. You also have the ability to spontaneously shock people to death, which has lead to the untimely death of all your loved one's and various shop keepers.

Jesus Christ am I glad someone has said this.
The more recent series have a load of s*** that have all followed the same formula.

-Alright ish people with the odd weirdo
-Crap people
-Judges winging about crap people
-Sob story with a decent singer
-The line "...and from then on things only get better"
-Alright ish people with the odd weirdo to the end

I've completely given up on watching it. I always hated talent shows/reality TV but at least this was watchable a few series ago.

:angst: You really need to get out more and stop watching cr@p tv.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

I go home to a house blaze, get badly burned trying to rescue someone, have to have a lung removed and then, whilst recovering, discover I've got a progressive illness that means I'll be blind in five years... It's got all the hero/tragedy/bravery/against-the-odds/fighter-in-the-face-of-adversity elements they'll love... Oh, and I'll turn up all bloodied having been mugged on the tube on the way to the audition.... and that'll be me singing "It's my dream and I made it on my own" or some such other crappy sentiment as the Christmas number one for 2009! :)

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I'm in tears already. I hope you get through to Boot Camp Nick ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

But now to Rachel Hylton, who, in my humble opinion, is possibly one of the most obnoxious people ever to appear on the show. First kid at thirteen, then two more kids and a drug habit before a stint in prison and another kid... and now she's on the straight and anrrow... and we're to congratulate her for that?

Sorry, since when should we be congratulating someone for NOT being a slapper-druggie with a criminal record? It's as if staying out of prison, not doing drugs and looking after one of your FOUR kids is something to aspire to! Jesus, she's not even living up to her responsibilities to ALL her kids and now she's being wheeled out as some sort of reformed character being given a second chance in life.

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Agreed, I was saying the same thing last night! She is showned to be some great human being for turning her life around when it's taken her 4 kids to bother to sort it out!! Grrrrrrr.....

http://i35.tinypic.com/20korqu.gif

my girlfriend loves it, so do I, it gives me an hours peace on EVE.

The trouble is that it's getting to the point where a new artist can only get noticed if by going on one or other of these programs and if they fit the mould that the voting morons like.
How far do you think the likes of Bob Dylan would have got on X Factor? Cowell (spit) would have trashed his voice, the women judges would have taken the opportunity to show how caring they are by letting him down gently and he wouldn't have got through to the second round.

My 9 year old daughter likes to watch it. IMO that is the mental age of most of the audience.

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Originally Posted by MadduckUK

http://i35.tinypic.com/20korqu.gif

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The sole reason I entered this thread was because I knew you'd have posted that.

I was not disappointed http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/c..._surprised.gif

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Originally Posted by MadduckUK

http://i35.tinypic.com/20korqu.gif

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Do you have a .gif for everything :D

Forget about X-Factor and the like.

The same "sob story is better than actual talent" applies across the entirety of the music world.

For those that haven't paid attention to my many rants on the matter (and I have made 2 or 3 and probably more than that over my time on this forum) I'll do it again.

I play the piano, at a level which most people don't reach for another 2 or 3 years (if they ever reach it and don't give up before then), and as such I get volunteered to play in concerts, accompany choirs and dance groups, compete in musical competitions and the like.

I don't have any particular sob story, I go into a competition to win it but like hell am I going to say that! You can't just say that "I'm here to win this competition" without the judges hating you instantly, which is never a bad thing. However, I can honestly say that I never use sob stories. I shouldn't need to. However, I recently competed in something a little bigger than the normal £50 things that I go and win.

And yes, I do normally come in the top 3 at competitions, I'm that sort of person. Admittedly it's normally 2nd or 3rd (which is why I hate sob stories) but to be honest, if you can play an instrument to any decent standard it's surprising how few other people can compete.

Kudos to those that can, naturally. I don't mind losing to someone that actually does have better talent than me. It gives me someone to beat next year.

I'm also somewhat in awe of the little 11 yr olds that turn up on TV and are astounding. I'm also glad that they don't come and compete against me. I don't think that I could live with an 11 yr old transcedeing me... it'd just be depressing :P

Going back to my original point, I played in a slightly bigger competition.

The 1st prize was £1000

Top of category (singer/dancer/musician) was £100

So not too bad as prizes go. I was, naturally, in the musicians section playing the piano. I didn't perform too badly but there were was an amazing jazz pianist. He's probably the best pianist I've ever seen perform on stage. He didn't slip up, he didn't falter or stop and those mistakes that he did make (as I was sat off stage following his music, which he wasn't using) didn't sound like mistake.

There was also a classical pianist. Who mucked up entirely. He forgot what he was playing (which was an extremely well known piece of music... one of those famous concertos that everyone knows, even if they don't know what it is) and so made it up. He didn't falter though, so points in his favour.

There was my sister and me, who we can't count simply because I can't give a proper opinion on us. It wouldn't make sense.

Then there was this violinist, who was fairly amazing, but nothing special.

And then there's the compulsory little boy with the guitar that falters, hesitates, stops but has this wonderful sob story.


The classical pianist won £1000 (it should have, in my opinion, gone to one of the dance groups, who were amazing. I suspect that the pianist going to Oxford University had some influence here, if not officially)

The little boy won the best in category prize.

Putting it frankly, he didn't deserve it.

It may sound harsh or uncaring, but the violinist was better than him. Even I, who mucked up completely, played better than he did. My sister - who normally doesn't care - agreed with my opinion and even started the entire discussion with it.


I think that, in the interests of fairness, it should be said that we don't KNOW about the stories behind any performers on stage if they are competing in a competition of any type. Then we can avoid the sob stories thing altogether and maybe find some people with TALENT to win competitions like this instead.


Getting rid of the short skirts and very low cut V neck tops that sort of hit the tops of those skirts would be all in the interests of keeping the boys on a even playing field with the girls as well.... But that's a different issue, and as a musician doesn't affect me.

Although some of the female singers :cool::cool:

You have no idea what you can see from backstage in this sort of competition :bowdown::bowdown:

Minor thread revival but just wanted to say that Peter Kay is SUPERBLY sending up the whole X-Factor thing on Channel 4... catch it on C4+1 if you're not watching it already...:D

don't know why im here! i stopped watching x factor last year and read this thread to see what i was missing.. i made it past the first paragraph

thanks nick for your efforts though! hehe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fred1979

don't know why im here!

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Free postage from scan? :p

Prove me wrong :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

Minor thread revival but just wanted to say that Peter Kay is SUPERBLY sending up the whole X-Factor thing on Channel 4... catch it on C4+1 if you're not watching it already...:D

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ROFL, I nearly died watching the Freddie Mercury/Monserrat Caballe one. :D

The show last night was great, still not sure if Peter Kay was actually doing the singing or mimeing, it sounded better than most of the people on x-factor :p

If miming is fine for the olympics then I guess that X Factor can do it...

I thought the Peter Kay show was utter tripe :confused:

The 'finals' part was crap but the first show was brilliantly funny...

I texted Zak, he turned over for a look and I managed an (unintentional) LIVE RickRoll as Rick Astley was on stage!

Yay me!

I'm not trying to start a flame war or be awkward or nuffink but this seems the right place to make the following statement:

I like X Factor.

I think it's entertaining, emotional and fun. And Cheryl and Danii are well hot.

I'll go back up the chimney now :surrender:.

Just don't bring me any X-Factor DVDs for xmas okay santa?

/me hates X-Factor.. too many bad singers that people say are good *shudders*

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Originally Posted by mediaboy

Just don't bring me any X-Factor DVDs for xmas okay santa?

/me hates X-Factor.. too many bad singers that people say are good *shudders*

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Ok :). You don't like Leona or the girl who sang U2's "with or without you" on Saturday? Aww, they are cute.

Nick, you have the perfect sob-story.. you used to work for Sainsbury's... :(


/violins.....

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Originally Posted by staffsMike

Free postage from scan? :p

Prove me wrong :D

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Not possible, check his other posts ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

Minor thread revival but just wanted to say that Peter Kay is SUPERBLY sending up the whole X-Factor thing on Channel 4... catch it on C4+1 if you're not watching it already...:D

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As has been said, the first part was brilliant, the results section wasn't so good. That damned song has gone round and round my head all day though

Quote:

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Originally Posted by santa claus

I'm not trying to start a flame war or be awkward or nuffink but this seems the right place to make the following statement:

I like X Factor.

I think it's entertaining, emotional and fun. And Cheryl and Danii are well hot.

I'll go back up the chimney now :surrender:.

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Aaaaaand I agree.

It passes the time, it's easy to watch, the complete morons who enter are entertaining and out of 50xxx people there's at least two or three who have a voice that makes you take notice. This year is that group of lads (YTS?) and the girl who was in it 3 years ago.

Cheryl - yes, twice
Danii - no thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick

Sorry, since when should we be congratulating someone for NOT being a slapper-druggie with a criminal record? It's as if staying out of prison, not doing drugs and looking after one of your FOUR kids is something to aspire to! [...]

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I don't watch the X-Factor other than a couple of really bad one posted on YouTube so I don't have much of an opinion on that, but I can see an argument for that quote.

It's not about congratulating someone for meeting the minimum expectation, or seeing it as something to aspire to, but about congratulating someone for improving, and see if that would result in a positive reinforcement. Sort of like giving a kid who constantly fail a pat on the back for finally getting a D.

In short, the carrot approach.

Who's up for entering next year - at each location they go to and singing Rick Astley until forcibly removed?

could be a good way to raise money for cancer research :D

the person should also do it wearing a mankini

"holds up a tenner to the person entering"

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Originally Posted by SmileyUK

could be a good way to raise money for cancer research :D

the person should also do it wearing a mankini

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Thanks for volunteering! :thumbsup:
:D

there is no way my pasty body would get shown on tv :p

What amuses me is that every contestant that has a sob story to tell is given a leading question by one of the judges to tell it , and thank christ I don't have to hear that Faith Hill Pearl Harbour tune any more now that blond kid has been booted off.

oh - and yes Rachel Hylton - good god there is someone to make me put my foot through the telly.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SmileyUK

could be a good way to raise money for cancer research :D

the person should also do it wearing a mankini

"holds up a tenner to the person entering"

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Nick's up for most things, taser, APC destruction, shall we start a vote?


Can we pass on the mankini though

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Originally Posted by mycarsavw

Nick's up for most things, taser, APC destruction, shall we start a vote?


Can we pass on the mankini though

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Are you suggesting he does it nude? :O_o1:

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Originally Posted by sleepyhead

Are you suggesting he does it nude? :O_o1:

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ARGH, pass the mind-bleach

No no no and no!

I think it should be a barber shop quartet.
I can obviously do the singing coaching and sort the harmonies. :)

And I'm a demon with a pair of clippers! :)

^ That's it then.

Time to start making the banners boys and girls

Quote:

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Originally Posted by santa claus

Ok :). You don't like Leona or the girl who sang U2's "with or without you" on Saturday? Aww, they are cute.

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Both of them = I would :drool:

So I need 3/4 males, with different vocal ranges and some singing experience.
We will be called - The Rick Rolls.

Do we have to be able to sing "in tune"?

If you can whistle/hum in tune, you can sing in tune with tutition. If you can't, you're bojoed.

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Originally Posted by Bazzlad

If you can whistle/hum in tune, you can sing in tune with tutition. If you can't, you're bojoed.

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If not, can we just have a sob story for automatic approval by the judges? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sleepyhead

If not, can we just have a sob story for automatic approval by the judges? :D

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Madduck was severely bullied at school due to his rare medical condition, google imagitus.
He found himself unable to stop holding up slightly irrelevant pictures everytime he heard people having a discussion, and this, lead to beatings....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bazzlad

Madduck was severely bullied at school due to his rare medical condition, google imagitus.
He found himself unable to stop holding up slightly irrelevant pictures everytime he heard people having a discussion, and this, lead to beatings....

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hang on...

....