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Thread: Funny Quotes

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    IBM
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    Funny Quotes

    Looking for some humerous quotes to stick up on the wall...

    First one to go up is 'The pen is mightier than the sword....if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp'.

    (10 points to the first person to attribute it correctly without googling it)

    Anyone suggest any more?

    I was going to go with Churchill's 'American's can always be counted on to do the right thing, once all possible alternatives have been exhausted' but I know a lot of americans, so won't
    sig removed by Zak33

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    HEXUS.social member finlay666's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by IBM View Post
    'The pen is mightier than the sword....if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp'.
    James Bond: They always said the pen was mightier than the sword.
    Q: Thanks to me they were right !


    “Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”
    Same writer as yours
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

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    Mostly Me Lucio's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by IBM View Post
    Looking for some humerous quotes to stick up on the wall...

    First one to go up is 'The pen is mightier than the sword....if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp'.
    Isn't that from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books? Guards Guards perhaps?

    (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/)
    (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=)
    (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(")


    This is bunny and friends. He is fed up waiting for everyone to help him out, and decided to help himself instead!

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    10 points to Lucio.

    I would have given it to Finlay, but he obviously thought the competition beneath him.
    sig removed by Zak33

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by IBM View Post
    10 points to Lucio.

    I would have given it to Finlay, but he obviously thought the competition beneath him.

    I knew who it was, just couldn't remember the book it was in and didn't want to cheat
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

  6. #6
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
    Steven Wright

  7. #7
    Will work for beer... nichomach's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    "I met her in Macy's. She was buying clothes, and I was running slinkies down the escalators..."
    Steven Wright on meeting his girlfriend for the first time.

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by nichomach View Post
    Steven Wright
    He was the DJ in reservoir dogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

  9. #9
    Herr Doktor Oetker, ja!!! pollaxe's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    K-Billy's Super Sounds of the Seventies, IIRC?

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Yep
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    At one of churchills meetings, a woman said to him:
    "You're very drunk Mr Churchill"
    To which he responded:
    "And you, are very ugly - but i'll be sober in the morning!"

    Hilarious ^^

    Hitler oddly made a few fairly funny ones, but if i'm not allowed to google them then can't post them

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
    Oscar Wilde

    john

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
    Noel Coward.

    People often say to me: "What are you doing in my garden?"
    Michael Redmond

    No man is an island but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.
    Ashleigh Brilliant

    Have you ever noticed how paranoid people get when you follow them up a ladder?
    Michael Redmond

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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day

    Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
    "Free speech includes not only the inoffensive but the irritating, the contentious, the eccentric, the heretical, the unwelcome and the provocative provided it does not tend to provoke violence. Freedom only to speak inoffensively is not worth having."

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    Salazaar Clone! mediaboy's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Quotes

    Sell a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you ruin a wonderful buisness oportunity.

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