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Thread: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
    has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
    since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
    will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
    worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
    more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
    are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
    overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
    charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
    from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
    reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
    job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
    children.

    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
    consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
    not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
    abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
    and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
    burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
    her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
    his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
    I Know My Rights
    I Want It Now
    Someone Else Is To Blame
    I'm A Victim

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
    nothing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33 View Post
    If you still remember him, pass this on.
    or you will have bad luck for the rest of the year?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

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    JK Ferret (14-02-2009),mediaboy (14-02-2009)

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    Senior Member joshwa's Avatar
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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Quote Originally Posted by MadduckUK View Post
    or you will have bad luck for the rest of the year?
    And it will burn your hard drive. You have been warned

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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Quote Originally Posted by MadduckUK View Post
    or you will have bad luck for the rest of the year?
    No, a clown will appear while you're asleep and will kill you.

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    HEXUS.social member finlay666's Avatar
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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Quote Originally Posted by samcross View Post
    No, a clown will appear while you're asleep and will kill you.
    Good, I was wondering why I kept finding flowers and balloons in my bedroom, good to be able to rest easy it wasn't Alan Titchmarsh out to bum me
    H3XU5 Social FAQ
    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai View Post
    I do like a bit of hot crumpet

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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Well, whoever authored this, it's a great piece of writing. Thanks Zak.

  9. #7
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: We Mourn the Passing of a Beloved, if old friend

    Nice one!
    Last edited by santa claus; 14-02-2009 at 01:02 AM.

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