Do not talk to my parrot!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called the repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the table and I'll mail you a cheque. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But whatever you do, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's flat the following day he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name-calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike."
