Sure, this is a bit more heart to heart than my usual ramblings on watches, pens, and gundams. Those are merely some of my interests, fuelled by an interesting childhood comprising of a lot more 'adult' companions than those of my own age, although I guess I was a bit more mature for my age back then*. Did I say I was 'mature'? Well, compared to anyone of my age (at the time at least) I could say that I enjoyed the company of adults, i.e. anyone say over 40, more than those of my own age.
This, however, did not mean that I wasn't immature in my own way - I still am, when I want to beI can meet any young kid and instantly form a bond thanks to my history as an avid gamer. I probably spent more time playing computer games during my O-levels more than I studied and my Mother was quite amazed how I did as well as I did, without really applying myself at all. This side of me only manifested itself at University. Yes, I hated school and really didn't care for mathematics...ha!
I'm in a rather Freudian mood and wonder if these experiences really moulded me to be who I am today: pedantic, cynical, antisocial and quite eccentric, at least for my tender age of 26. Mix in a dose of regret and (I did say immature right?) now after my Masters ....I get to face the "real" world.
It's not like the good old days where boy meets girl and they join up with fancy robots to save the planet; instead, boy meets financial jesus (looks like he finally came, who knew) causing havoc and even making that poor bull near that wall and street thing less "bullish". So where does this leave a 26-year old living in the middle of no-where with degrees up the wazoo (that cost my Mom well over £80-100k) rendered essentially worthless by the current economic gloom? Mmm...some call it limbo, I call it "the rut". I hate ruts as they are similar to black holes...they not only suck in light and the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum and cause a temporal time dilation but they also can suck in a persons self-esteem, moral and cause them to ramble, pouring their souls onto some forum for all to jeer at (*drum roll*...Clunk!).
Enough with my "Dummies..." attempt at humour. The rut has me feeling quite a bit of anticlimax, especially with the end of University. Oh yes, in my earlier Freudian dissection of my personality and existence so-far I failed to mention one of the side-effects of my charming personality...it tends to repel most people, not unlike the way like charges behave. It could just be a case of "Mike, get off your well cushiony behind and dance like it's 1999", which goes against all my "antisocial" principles but at the same time all the folks I knew back home (where I happen to be) are no longer here, and are in fact spread out over the globe. Then again, I could count the people who probably gave a toss about me with a couple fingers.
I seem to have completely lost the point of making this post now. Oh yes, the rut. I'm still stuck in said rut. Facing the unknown - this is how I'd describe the sky above "Rut-land", or considering where I am make that "Rut-island", and I'm not talking about the ruts in our terrible roads either.
Any thoughts on how to get out of this rut? Should I consider taking refuge in "Phd-topia" (possibly the US) or get back to finishing off my Gundam? I hope Saracen would dispense some advice, I do love reading his eloquent posts.
Night all, keep safe and all the best. I'm off to watch some Gossip Girl, at least their lives are far more exciting than my mundane drudging through "Rut-land".
Cheers
Mike.


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I can meet any young kid and instantly form a bond thanks to my history as an avid gamer. I probably spent more time playing computer games during my O-levels more than I studied and my Mother was quite amazed how I did as well as I did, without really applying myself at all. This side of me only manifested itself at University. Yes, I hated school and really didn't care for mathematics...ha!
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You know your own ambitions etc best career-wise; but it sounds as though you have some personal life/situation areas of dissatisfaction as well, so give yourself a chance to work those out.

