"I have been observing you. It's part of my research on human mating behavior."
(reads from the PADD) "Stardate 52647, 1400 hours. Subjects quarrel in corridor outside female's quarters. Male returns with 12 flowering plant stems, species Rosa rubifolia, effecting a cessation of hostilities. Stardate 52648, 0300 hours. Intimate relations resume."
"How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?"
"There is no one on Deck 9, Section 12 who doesn't know when you're having intimate relations."
"I want all the date you collected!"
"I haven't completed the study"
"Then study this. Borg provokes Klingon. Klingon breaks Borg nose."
"Call sickbay, tell them there is about to be a medical emergency"