Cyber bullying ad, unfit for TV broadcast?

[0iD]

A bullied girl's suicide prompted cybermentors.org.uk to make an ad showing a girl sewing her mouth shut. Is this really unfit for consumption on TV, especially in light of some of the drink driving ads?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8459771.stm

And more to the point, could the point have been put across in any better?

[jim]

I think it's a daft ad to be honest.

Drink driving ads have got blood and guts in them because that's precisely what happens when you're in a crash - it shocks you by showing you exactly what will happen if you are involved in a car crash, and hence makes you do everything possible not to be involved in one.

As for this ad, it's just a metaphor - to represent someone who feels they can't talk. Quite why we need blood and gore for the sake of a metaphor, and one for the attention of the victims at that, I don't know. If you want to make a shocking ad about bullying, why not use the shocking tactics but apply them to the bullies? Taking the case of that girl who jumped out of a window fairly recently, why not use imagery along those lines to put the idea in every bully's head that they are a potential murderer?

I don't think its distasteful imagery should've rendered it unfit myself - as you say there have been much worse ads on the television before for drink driving and so on, but I think it's an incredibly strange one to make, and probably if the shock had been aimed in the right direction it would've been accepted to go on TV.

[TheAnimus]

Or do something to actually help those bullying understand the pain and suffering they create, many simply don't realise.

[Prime]

i just dont agree with 'shock tactic' adverts and billboarding in EVERY way. Health, protection, povety, safety. i hate it

[jim]

Or do something to actually help those bullying understand the pain and suffering they create, many simply don't realise.

Don't know about that... I'll readily admit to have been a "bully" as per "many simply don't realise". Along with a few other people, I was always ready to take the piss out of somebody if they did something joke-worthy... and if people asked me to stop I always would. The only people I couldn't stick were the odd few who said nothing for ages and then suddenly reported you for "constant bullying". Point is, it was very tame bullying... one kid reported me when I was 10 because I started calling him "litterbug" after he dropped a tissue on the floor and didn't pick it up one day. Once I knew it was upsetting for him, I stopped... and if that genuinely harmed his future life, then I'd be pretty surprised.

I'd imagine that the type of bullying these agencies are really out to stop are the ones that result in depression/self-mutilation/suicide. I suspect that the kids that creating that volume of suffering know exactly what they're doing, and don't see it as a reason to stop... maybe if they realised it would lead to serious consequences for the other person's life, and potentially get them done for murder it might stop them though.

It's a bit of an issue with me because my old school were so hapless at sorting out bullying incidents. They spent all their time fussing with pathetic nonsense like "calling someone a name is bullying", that people who were genuinely being ganged up on for "disrespecting a popular kid" or being "the clever one" were completely ignored. Or alternatively, one of them was easier to tackle...

[Salazaar]

I don't see much of a problem with it to be honest. It's not really gory at all, as I had assumed from some of the above posts, and it does get across at least one of the key messages of the issue. How exactly do you put across complex psychological and emotional issues in a 30 second TV ad?

Plus, it has succeeded in scoring at least one major goal, it's gotten us talking, and therefore thinking about the issue.

[0iD]

The question is, just how do you get the message over in a hard hitting but effective manner?

[jim]

The question is, just how do you get the message over in a hard hitting but effective manner?

Does it need to be hard hitting though? If it's aimed at the victims, I'm not convinced that hard-hitting is the right approach.

[0iD]

Good point Well maybe you have to have different formats for the victims/potential victims & the parents?

I know a number of parents I speak to still think the whole cyber-bullying thing is nothing more than an urban myth.

[TheAnimus]

snootyjim i'd say its a hard line to walk.

When I was 12/13 I was like most teens troubled, unlike most teens I also had a certain talent for certain types of mischief, I often didn't see the end result of my actions. I must have created a lot of suffering for people purely out of ignorance, rather than malice. This is not un-common.

There is simple style bullying for instance when someone hit me in the back of my neck, whilst i was wearing a neck brace. But the guy felt it was justified because of what I'd done to him previously, so of course I continued the war of attrition and 'got him back' later. At the time rather than feeling any remorse i would have been feeling pride.

I now know however that kid was been beaten by his dad regularly and I feel, well not shame because I didn't know any better and I was a stupid kid, but shall we say poignantly aware of my levels of ignorance at the time.

With the on-line bullying it can be even harder to ascertain the suffering of one victim, often someone's behaviour is what leads to them been picked on, with my work with children I was normally dealing with the brightest 20% of a year group as determined by the teachers prejudice rather than exams. On summer school and the like we saw massive change in behaviour of children, even children you'd gotten to know over 6 months previous change the way they interact when they see the consequences. Boys are better at this than girls, one group I'd been mentoring for a year had been consistently picking on a rather difficult very intelligent yet awquard kid. He did a lot of things that invited the comments he received, but after less than 48 hours of observing the long term effects, they actually started to interact 'better' the comments exchanged where more friendly, and when things where said that overstepped the line, apologies where exchanged quite quickly.

Most kids know bullying isn't pleasant, but most when they are doing it, will not think of that message because of some graphic add.

How many of us laughed at that recent facebook thing over some girls phallic fantasy, I found it funny, but the long term effect on her might be something else all together. If its real that is (which it could easily be, the behaviour is entirely believable) would the brother posted it knowing the full ramifications, probably not, but ignorance or lack of imagination means the negative thoughts will have not entered the head.

This is why this campaign won't work, and its a total waste of time.

[0iD]

How many of us laughed at that recent facebook thing over some girls phallic fantasy, I found it funny, but the long term effect on her might be something else all together. If its real that is (which it could easily be, the behaviour is entirely believable) would the brother posted it knowing the full ramifications, probably not, but ignorance or lack of imagination means the negative thoughts will have not entered the head.

Being a dad of teen girls, it could all be so very real unfortunately TheAnimus makes a very important point here too, the potential backlash for the girl could be totally out of proportion & she may well suffer disproportionately as a result of the exposure it has received, and indeed very damaging.

[Salazaar]

This is why this campaign won't work, and its a total waste of time.

It's relatively cheap to produce and to distribute and it's gotten us, and presumably others, thinking about and discussing the subject - your own last post is an important demonstration of that - I think that alone elevates it above the level of 'a total waste of time'. Even if it doesn't get the message across to the bullies or to the victims, if it get's it across to others who can help more directly in those situations then it's a success.

[jim]

With the on-line bullying it can be even harder to ascertain the suffering of one victim, often someone's behaviour is what leads to them been picked on, with my work with children I was normally dealing with the brightest 20% of a year group as determined by the teachers prejudice rather than exams. On summer school and the like we saw massive change in behaviour of children, even children you'd gotten to know over 6 months previous change the way they interact when they see the consequences. Boys are better at this than girls, one group I'd been mentoring for a year had been consistently picking on a rather difficult very intelligent yet awquard kid. He did a lot of things that invited the comments he received, but after less than 48 hours of observing the long term effects, they actually started to interact 'better' the comments exchanged where more friendly, and when things where said that overstepped the line, apologies where exchanged quite quickly

I think that's probably one of the situations where unlimited outside influence, such as this, would still make no difference whatsoever... and in a way I think it's linked to maturity - not necessarily empathy, but something similar.

I knew a few kids who were really weird "externally". If somebody mentioned their name, when we were all 11, people would make some comment about "what they did last week" and then everyone would laugh in unison. It wasn't really until we were all maybe 15 that it started to dry up. Some of the more mature people started to talk to these outsiders for one reason or another, often because they'd been forced into classes with people they didn't know as a result of GCSEs... and you would start to appreciate them as a person more. I think for some reason people were more prepared to consider everyone as a complete package rather than their one area of notoriety.

From three of my school year's primary "outsiders" from the early years, one is now my girlfriend - a genuinely lovely person who got a bad reputation for being a super-nerd, one is a guy with slightly odd parents who gained a reputation for having no friends and acting like a nutter, who I talked to loads in Sixth Form and started to gain a bit of a grip on social matters and has been out with a group of us a few times - I gather he's doing well at uni so far, and the third guy, who I probably talked to more than any other, was completely lacking in any social skills whatsoever, made completely inappropriate comments all the time and seemed at times to suffer from hyperactivity... he got a heck of a lot better, but there was a bunch of popular people, also bullies, who convinced him that they liked him as a mate, and then proceeded to utilise him as entertainment on nights out, and ensure he never made much progress... he improved slightly, although the big one was when he got rejected from every single uni with three A grades as a result of his personality. I gather he's improved a lot since then as well.

By the time we were 17, all but a very small group (see above) were treating everyone in pretty much the same way... all of the school bullying nonsense had gone out of the window, and we were far better for it. As I said though, I don't think you can teach that. I don't think it's necessarily easy to understand someone's background - if somebody's weird, it's their fault... why don't they just be normal? It takes time to grow up a bit and recognise that in many ways people are the product of their upbringing and hence should be treated equally and all given a chance.

[TheAnimus]

I think maturity is a better word for ignorance in my above postings.

[jim]

Good point Well maybe you have to have different formats for the victims/potential victims & the parents?

I know a number of parents I speak to still think the whole cyber-bullying thing is nothing more than an urban myth.

The difficulty I have with "cyber-bullying" is that it isn't a new phenomenon as people keep treating it - it's just a different method of communication. In the past, our phallus-phriendly-phriend would've had her note pinned up on the school message board, or perhaps photocopied and left in every classroom.

As for the adverts, I reckon as you say, it would need to be a double-pronged attack.

Based on what I've seen in this thread, I think you'd probably do well to target the bullies. Off the top of my head, maybe take a kid who sits in the corner and never says anything being bullied in class. Then you scroll to his home (based on what TheAnimus said) and make it clear that he's being physically attacked by a relative... would you bully him now? Then a few more similar images, concluding with a kid lying dead on a road/a railway/under a bridge and ask... would you bully him now? The only way I can see to stop people bullying others is to encourage them to empathise (although as I say you'll probably only be able to accelerate that by a few months as it's linked to maturity, nonetheless something is better than nothing). Then in the more serious cases I think you do need to provide a big shock - perhaps some of it would be stopped if people thought "Actually it's not just school-banter, and whilst make me popular now, I'm not sure I want to have someone's blood on my hands for the rest of my life."

As for the victims, I'm not so good with that type of thing. But I think the main thing you want to do is make them comfortable, and guarantee that you're not going to get involved. When I was a victim, my main concern was somebody telling the bullies. When I was the one doing the bullying, allegedly I might add, a teacher took me over to one side in a corridor and said "Daisy Jones [obviously not her name] has reported you for bullying based on this conversation you had with her on MSN Messenger [hands me a printout of the conversation]... etc etc." So it's absolutely true - if you tell a teacher, they will tell the bully that they've been reported, who has reported them, and what evidence they've been given. As the victim, I'd be terrified at that point of getting my head stoved in. So I'd want an advert saying "We don't need names, we don't need addresses, we just want to talk." How it does that, I don't know exactly, but it needs to be gentle. If people aren't comfortable, they aren't going to open up, and that's who this is being aimed at.

As for parents, I'm not convinced about that one. I'm still of the opinion that 9 times out of 10 they'll do more harm than good, since the usual advert is "Have you noticed your child spending a lot of time alone on a PC? They're probably being bullied." So then they upset the poor kid who's just enjoying a spot of Runescape before it gets boring by ripping them away from the PC, then frogmarch them into school for a monday morning meeting with the head to accuse someone randomly of bullying.

[Lucio]

Hard hitting adverts aren't helpful, apart from getting a load of poorly informed people up in arms and thus raising support for whatever idea is being pushed. In fact, I'd argue they were deliberately designed to get people riled and upset so as to push a point of view forward.


Ultimately, it does sod all to help in the long run as all the money spent on the advert, could have gone on support services.