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Thread: Spam FAIL

  1. #1
    0iD
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    Smile Spam FAIL

    Now I love to read my spam filter now & again, but this spam mail just made be chuckle for it's not even attempting to be believable.
    From Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
    Queen of the United Kingdom

    Attn: Beneficiary

    My names are Mrs Xu lee . I am the director of information Her Majesty Revenue and Customs London United Kingdom. Our duty is to look into transactions and records of banks securities companies and financial houses within Europe based on the directive of the British Prime Minister.
    We also work in collaboration with American, Asian, African and Australian clearing houses.
    During our investigations we discovered un-paid debt from different bank and securities companie, with worth over 400m pounds lying unpaid with Bank in UK and that you are to be paid for an INHERITED FUND/ASSET, You are going to be good receiver your fund from HSBC Bank London

    View the website for more information:
    <*link removed*>

    Contact him on this information bellow

    Name John peter
    Tel phone number: 44-702-4014758776952178
    Email johnpeter22@live.com.au

    I want to inform you that the problem you are having is from your partners and the lawyers who is representing you they do reveal the reason for the delay of your payment and the reason you should pay the money they demand from you. My reason for contacting you is to inform you to stop payment of any such to the lawyer or to the financial institutions and securities companies as you will not receive your fund due to some anomalies we discovered in your life.
    We are protect your interest contact me immediately so we can advice you on how you will receive our fund without any impediment. You are hereby advised to maintain constants contacting with me and avoid any interaction with unscrupulous agents partners or lawyers.
    Yours faithfully,

    Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
    Queen of the United Kingdom
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  2. #2
    Jay
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    lol.. good offical email address that one.
    □ΞVΞ□

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    Re: Spam FAIL

    lol i get these all the time good for a chuckle

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    jim
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    I'd say you get on the phone and get this mess sorted out!

    http://www.royal.gov.uk/Contactus/Co...0Family.aspx#1

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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Very funny

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    Not a good person scaryjim's Avatar
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    I think this bit is the most winsome:
    You are hereby advised to maintain constants contacting with me and avoid any interaction with unscrupulous agents partners or lawyers.
    Self-contradictory or what! Absolute class

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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by 0iD View Post
    Now I love to read my spam filter now & again, but this spam mail just made be chuckle for it's not even attempting to be believable.
    LOL!!! I should look into my spam box more often =))

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    ɯʎɔɐɹsɐʌʍ mycarsavw's Avatar
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorloff View Post
    LOL!!! I should look into my spam box more often =))
    Irony of the highest order considering you bumped a 5 year old thread to spam yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorloff View Post
    Hello, why would not you simply contact the professionals? Making extra eceltricity powered stuff in your bathroom is not something that one should handle on his own.

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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Mines better xD


    Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:56:06 -0800
    From: mr_abedi17@yukubu.net
    Subject: TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL
    To: mr_abedi17@yakubu.net


    TOP SECRET

    I am Mr. Amara Abedi, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou Burkina faso West Africa. With due respect and regard, I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

    During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31rst january 2000 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this developement.

    The said amount was ( EIGHTHEEN MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLERS.($18,000,000.00)Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put the claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer this money to a foriegn account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.

    Infact i could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant (A Banker) we are not allowed to operate a foriegn account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer becuase i work in this bank. This is the reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin to the bank and also present a foriegn account where he will need the money to be retransferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account.

    I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 40% of the total sum as gratification, while 60% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep top secret as i am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you.

    I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when i hear from you.

    I look forward to receive your email .
    Yours faithfully
    Mr. Amara Abedi
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    0iD (24-02-2010)

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    Not a good person scaryjim's Avatar
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by watforddude View Post
    ... Please, you have been adviced to keep top secret ...
    Dude, you've just broken the conditions of the deal! Man, now you'll never get your 40% of EIGHTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS

  12. #11
    IBM
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by watforddude View Post
    Mines better xD
    I don't care if your email is from the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou Burkina faso West Africa. ....OiD's is from the bleedin' Queen!

    sig removed by Zak33

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    0iD (24-02-2010)

  14. #12
    Senior Member watforddude's Avatar
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by scaryjim View Post
    Dude, you've just broken the conditions of the deal! Man, now you'll never get your 40% of EIGHTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS
    I'm not to bothered I think they gave it to someone else

    Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:56:06 -0800
    From: mr_abedi17@yukubu.net
    Subject: TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL
    To: mr_abedi17@yakubu.net
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by watforddude View Post
    Mines better xD

    .....who died on 31rst january
    lol, ace =)

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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Very good, I just get the normal ones like this:

    `Buy Hydrocodone, Codeine, Phentermin, Vicodin Direct, 30 day supply with overnight delivery. Enjoy wholesale discounts, saving up to 80% on your purchase! Safe, secure, and private. yvyec 88

    Spam X


    Reply

    |
    Lona Arielle
    to capoeirastyle, bcc: me, bcc: jiannfeng, bcc: elmosleh, bcc: jesseskelton, bcc: farhir, bcc: jparks93, bcc: smatsa, bcc: irmaktr

    show details 22 Feb (2 days ago)



    * LowestPrice Guaranteed. We will beat the shipped prices of any pharmacies

    Codeine
    Vicodin
    Hydrocodone
    XanaxK
    ValiumK
    Paracod
    Phentermin37,5
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    * Visa Accepted
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    Although I do get the one below a lot of times a month, nearly every week I see it crop up in Spam:

    yeah finally thanks a lot mate! I`m starting today, you have no idea how much you helped me bro!!!
    I have a serious debts and need to quickly make some cash

    cheers..


    ----- Original Message -----
    From: "johnrehurst" <mohanakrishnan@gmail.com>
    To: "james"
    Sent: Friday, February 19, 2010 2:49 PM
    Subject: Re: Re: yo mate


    yo mate, ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll ****in kill you
    you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black and it goes black you win $1 but if it goes red you loose your $1.
    but I found a way you can win everytime:

    bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

    now again bet $1 on black, if it goes red bet $3 on black, if it goes red again bet $8 on black, if red again bet $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple you previous lost bet around 2.5), if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

    $1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 So you just won $20

    now when you won you start with $1 on blacks again etc etc. its always bound to go black eventually (it`s 50/50) so that way you eventually always win. But there`s a catch. If you start winning too much (like $1000 a day) casino will finally notice something and can ban
    you. I was banned once on royal casino. So don`t be too greedy and don`t win more then $200 a day and you can do it for years. I think bigger casinos know that trick so I play for real money on smaller ones, right now I play on elite vip casino:no for more
    then 3 months, I win $50-$200 a day and my account still works. You`ll find roulette there when you log in go to "specialty" section - "american roulette". And don`t you dare talling about it anyone else, if too many people knows about it casinos will finally found a way to block that trick. If you have any questions just drop me a line here or on skype.

    c ya
    E6850@ 3700MHz / 6GB DDR2 / 500GB SATAII / nVidia 7800 GTX / Lian Li Plus7B

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    HEXUS.social member finlay666's Avatar
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by Ben Rogers View Post
    yo mate, ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll ****in kill you
    you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black and it goes black you win $1 but if it goes red you loose your $1.
    but I found a way you can win everytime:

    bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

    now again bet $1 on black, if it goes red bet $3 on black, if it goes red again bet $8 on black, if red again bet $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple you previous lost bet around 2.5), if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

    $1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 So you just won $20

    now when you won you start with $1 on blacks again etc etc. its always bound to go black eventually (it`s 50/50) so that way you eventually always win. But there`s a catch. If you start winning too much (like $1000 a day) casino will finally notice something and can ban
    you. I was banned once on royal casino. So don`t be too greedy and don`t win more then $200 a day and you can do it for years. I think bigger casinos know that trick so I play for real money on smaller ones, right now I play on elite vip casino:no for more
    then 3 months, I win $50-$200 a day and my account still works. You`ll find roulette there when you log in go to "specialty" section - "american roulette". And don`t you dare talling about it anyone else, if too many people knows about it casinos will finally found a way to block that trick. If you have any questions just drop me a line here or on skype.

    c ya
    That isn't even the correct system, the correct system is powers of 2

    bet 1 (2^0) win 1
    bet 2 , total bet 3, won 4
    bet 4, total bet 7, won 8
    bet 8, total bet 15, won 16
    etc...

    Either way the 0 gives the house the edge, and that system only works if there are no table limits and you have an infinite amount of money, and a LOT of time.
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    Re: Spam FAIL

    Quote Originally Posted by finlay666 View Post
    That isn't even the correct system, the correct system is powers of 2

    bet 1 (2^0) win 1
    bet 2 , total bet 3, won 4
    bet 4, total bet 7, won 8
    bet 8, total bet 15, won 16
    etc...

    Either way the 0 gives the house the edge, and that system only works if there are no table limits and you have an infinite amount of money, and a LOT of time.
    oh right, I don't know anything about it whatsoever and have no interest in that kind of thing tbh but just pointed it out as one example of spam I get.
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