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Thread: Things are going tits up

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    Senior Member watforddude's Avatar
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    Things are going tits up

    It's not like me to moan but as I've seen quite few times you guys give out amazing advice.

    Where to start, I recently got suspended at college for calling a teacher who is called Patrick, Paddy!
    This caused serious s**t at home and then I met my biological father for the first time in 14 years, which my non biological dad has looked after me since I was two, and to me that man is my true father but as you can tell that caused further **** at home because I didn't want to upset him or make him think I don't think he is anything but my dad to me so I didn't tell him when I did meet up with my biological father because I didn't know how to put it across!

    And then to top it off I find out my girlfriend hasn't been as faithful as she made out

    All this crap has happened within the last 2 weeks and its really starting to affect me mentally
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    Jay
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    man thats all bad news...

    I really wish I could tell you how to make this all go away but I can't! All i can say is it will get better.
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    Seething Cauldron of Hatred TheAnimus's Avatar
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    I've normally found bad things in life are poisson distributed. But knowing it dosen't help.

    The main thing to remember is the up is the best, your down right now so that means that when things get just a little bit better, they will feel a LOT better
    throw new ArgumentException (String, String, Exception)

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    Senior Member watforddude's Avatar
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    The worst out of all of it is finding out that my girlfriend (ex) has done this **** to me when I've done everything I can for her, their must be so quick cure to get over this
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Quote Originally Posted by watforddude View Post
    The worst out of all of it is finding out that my girlfriend (ex) has done this **** to me when I've done everything I can for her, their must be so quick cure to get over this
    When your girl leaves.. it feels like hell.. cos she was closest to you recently..
    but in actual fact..your DAD and you BIOLOGICAL DAD are prolly more important

    So... my advice dear chap... is to ignore the bird.. and deal with family.

    Blood, both REAL (bio) and PATERNAL LOVE (adopted long term father) are more important.

    You got kids? Go hug them

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    Senior Member watforddude's Avatar
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    No kids for me, I'm still of a young age I suppose the real reason I'm finding the girlfriend situation the hardest is because I've never had to experience it before and I don't know how to handle it.

    Thank you all for your support so far no matter how small.
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    Re: Things are going tits up

    I suppose the real reason I'm finding the girlfriend situation the hardest is because I've never had to experience it before and I don't know how to handle it.
    Mate I went through the exact same with my now ex, were together 4.5 years and I though things were fine then suddenly bam. I wont lie, it won't be easy to start but it will get easier. We broke up in november last year and I still have days here I just wish I could wake up next to her or whatever and it hurts. I wont give advice, as it affects people differently, so all I will say is do what you feel is right. At first i fought to get her back, but now, if she wants me, she knows where I am.

    Yes we have argued, more so recently as I have started wanting answers about various things, but were still talking on a friends level and have met up once or twice since breaking up. People told me to surround myself with friends, I wish I hadnt as they suddenly came out with opinions and stuff which just made me want my ex more and more and made me feel worse.

    Keep yourself busy to keep your mind off things mate.
    Quote Originally Posted by TAKTAK View Post
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    Senior Member watforddude's Avatar
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    thank's

    When I told my friends they were going oh she's a waste of space (not saying it that nicely) and I just didn't want to hear it!

    I didn't know so much crap could happen within such a short space of time.
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post

    with 29 minutes to go the watford dude saved the day!


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    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Quote Originally Posted by watforddude View Post
    It's not like me to moan but as I've seen quite few times you guys give out amazing advice.

    Where to start, I recently got suspended at college for calling a teacher who is called Patrick, Paddy!
    This caused serious s**t at home and then I met my biological father for the first time in 14 years, which my non biological dad has looked after me since I was two, and to me that man is my true father but as you can tell that caused further **** at home because I didn't want to upset him or make him think I don't think he is anything but my dad to me so I didn't tell him when I did meet up with my biological father because I didn't know how to put it across!

    And then to top it off I find out my girlfriend hasn't been as faithful as she made out

    All this crap has happened within the last 2 weeks and its really starting to affect me mentally
    Most of us here will know the gf let down cuts like a knife. But it's better to have found out now that she's a cheat before you're up to your neck in debt for her. You'll feel better in time but its a thing we all go through in one way or another like a rite of passage to manhood. You'll be ok.

    How about writing to Patrick to apologise for the offence you inadvertently caused; you need to show remorse and that you understand your mistake.

    The really tricky bit is the paternal issue. It could really hurt your non-bio dad and he doesn't deserve that. Tell him how you feel and he will understand. He's done a pretty good job in bringing you up so he'll be receptive I'm sure.

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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Wow thats a major blow mate, just take your time and make sure you come out on top!.

    @ GF, had similar situation month ago with mine . Man it was rough, aint gunna lie it is harsh but you got to live with it. People deal with these things in many ways, im more of the ignore it and forget it ever happened. One thing to look at, atleast it happened now and not a few months/years down the line cause that would be even worse although it comes are a pretty **** time for you .

    College, wow thats a bit ****... talk to your father (the one that raised you the most) and make him complain to the college as its pathetic you shouldnt be suspended for calling a teacher by their... name?

    With the family issue, id say your biological father ditched you (i dont know the reasons so sorry if this is wrong!) and the other man has earned your respect from what i read in your post. He should be proud you think of him as your real father but you need to explain to him you just wanted to know who your father is technically. He should understand really .

    Take your time with these matters mate and do what you think is best because you have to live with any decisions and generally your gut feeling is right, although mine is pretty shockingin the choice of girls lies /
    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post
    Trust me, go into any local club and shout "I've got dual Nehalem Xeons" and all of the girls will practically collapse on the spot at the thought of your e-penis

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    Re: Things are going tits up

    In the known universe there are estimated 125 billion galaxies, each with 400 billion stars, the infinite nature of unknown space means that odds, no matter how short are not only possible but will happen an infinite number of times. This means that even though the odds of a monkey typing the entire text of Hamlet is 3.4 × 10 to the 183,946 it will not only have happened it will have done so to the nth degree.

    So, what is all this about? Well even though at the moment, in your eyes the odds of all this getting better are slim, there is still a very very good chance (in terms of the monkey and the typewriter) that in fact all will be well very soon.

    Chin up mate and stick around Hexus, these guys and gals are some of the best people around.
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Quote Originally Posted by TheAnimus View Post
    I've normally found bad things in life are poisson distributed. But knowing it dosen't help.
    Oh, how true indeed!

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    Re: Things are going tits up

    All good advice. Personally I have found a little anger has always helped. You have done nothing wrong and your ex has treated you shabbily. You are entitled to feel enormously hurt, betrayed and pissed off.
    Speaking as a step father, I would be absolutley fine with the kids going to their father's. Provided that they come and tell me about it. It's a completley natural impulse and doesn't need to be hidden. Sit down with the Step-Dad over a cup of tea and just tell him. It's not going to be a shock, but I know that he would be VERY grateful to hear what you have just told us.

    Good luck with all that. We've all been there, and in some cases in both roles ! You are not alone by any means.
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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Quote Originally Posted by santa claus View Post
    Most of us here will know the gf let down cuts like a knife. But it's better to have found out now that she's a cheat before you're up to your neck in debt for her. You'll feel better in time but its a thing we all go through in one way or another like a rite of passage to manhood. You'll be ok.

    How about writing to Patrick to apologise for the offence you inadvertently caused; you need to show remorse and that you understand your mistake.

    The really tricky bit is the paternal issue. It could really hurt your non-bio dad and he doesn't deserve that. Tell him how you feel and he will understand. He's done a pretty good job in bringing you up so he'll be receptive I'm sure.
    Hey .... I was gonna say that. Pretty much exactly that. But in more words.

    He's right, watforddude, the gf thing hurts like hell ...and it does every time, not just the first time. But that's the price for pay for the good bits, and eventually, you'll find the right one. And as Santa said, better to have found out now. Look at it like this .... the gf hurts like hell now, but in a few weeks it'll be a sore spot. And as soon as you meet a better one, the old one becomes merely an object lesson and a stepping stone over the pond of life. I know it's hard to believe that right now, and it doesn't feel like it, but take my word for it.

    The college thing will pass, and your non-bio Dad will realise that you have an interesting in finding out about your bio-Dad ... just make sure that non-bio Dad knows he's still front and centre, and he'll get over it.

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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Life is one big learning curve mate with many ups and downs. If life was smooth then that would be the biggest miracle ever!! Approach each problem sensibly, calmly with a clear head. Accept your faults and also accept that crap happens!

    Obviously, that girl was never meant for you. There is a special girl waiting for you to find her!

    Time is a massive healer. I have lost my Mum and Dad, Twin Brother, all aunts, uncles, grandparents over the space of my life. Had terrible times with depression etc. Talking is a good thing too. If you have a really close mate then getting things off of your chest is a great starting point.

    Try not to let things affect you too much, i know as i have been there and it is a very dark place.

    Chin up mate, be positive and i am sure things will even out eventually.

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    Re: Things are going tits up

    Hating very much to join the age-wise fraternity, but as has been said, you've got to see a bit into the future with regard to, IE, at your age it matters not, it really doesn't, but that's with the benefit of age & hindsight.

    Your Stepdad will have been waiting for this moment for years & telling him may just put him out of his misery as he'll probably have been skiting round the issue for years. Just tell him exactly how you feel, have a hug, it may well bring you closer.

    As for Patrick, tbh, sounds like an over-sensitive knobber to me, but if you eat a little humble pie now, however much it hurts, makes you the bigger person for it. Just make sure the head of the college & dept are copied in, in case he denies receipt. It'll impress them & may bring them to your side & make them sympathetic to your cause. See it as a means to an end, not as an admission of guilt
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