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Thread: Fun on the drive to work

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    Theoretical Element Spud1's Avatar
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    Fun on the drive to work

    This is a true story..and the fact i'm writing it shows that i'm still working hard even when i've got to work hehe.

    Lets set the scene a little. Its a weekday morning (could be any, lets pick today), in the Manchester suburubs. I'm driving towards the motorway - a fun little not-quite-round-but-still-in-a-loop one called the M60. Happily listening to someone (in this case Jack Straw) getting metaphorically beaten up on the today programme. Its 8am on a cold morning (not that it matters), and i've got a whole hour to do the 30 min trip to work..so i'll get there early no rush.

    I approach the motorway, and after a little bit of a queue to get on (but hey we're british, we're good at queuing), I make it. Whoohoo..greeted by the usual 3 lanes of traffic. Lane 1 (old term: the slow lane), full of trucks, timid people and also those lucky enough to be heading off the motorway at the next junction. Average speed around 40-50mph. Lane 2 (old term: the middle lane), as usual at this time this lane seems to have a fixed speed limit of 60mph..no one ever goes any faster than that for fear of using too much fuel (or whatever the reason, I don't get it). And there we have the 3rd lane (aka: the "fast" lane). Here there is a mix of people doing 70 (as they should) and a bunch of predominately audi's and BMWs thinking its an auto-bahn before the Germans realised it was a stupid idea.

    I'm in no rush, but into the "fast" lane I pop, at least I can maintain a consistent speed there. So i'm happily driving along, keeping the needle at 72mph (and the satnav saying 70..who says car speedo's are inaccurate ) and spend the next 30 min chuckling as BMW after Audi after BMW appears right up my backside, each one of them blaring the horn, swearing (with their fingers..no doubt screaming it too) as the try to speed their way to an early grave or a speeding ticket. I'm saving them money, either in a ticket or at least in fuel, but they are not at all grateful. Who knows I could be saving their lives..and all while having a bit of fun myself. I'd pull into the middle lane if I could, but the traffic there is going too slow..so what can I do but stay there, at 70 (72 incidicated), safe in the knowledge that i'm safeguarding the world from a few little idiots who think its safe to drive at stupid speeds.

    I only wish I had one of those signs like the police do, where you can write things for the car behind to read..oh how much more i'd love my trip to work then!

    (note some of the above is really quite tongue in cheek, I'm not really saving the world etc, just annoying a few bad drivers out there..but my gosh its fun! Oh and I know that approx 50% of readers will hate me for all of the above, but I don't care..speeding kills. End of story.)


    EDIT: to stop people getting too angry..i've moved this part of a later post up here:

    "1) I do pull over when theres a gap in the middle lane and people there are not driving at 50/60mph..i'm not stupid enough to sit in the right hand lane when there is space to be on one of the middle/left lanes. If there is no space then I am overtaking..which is perfectly justified IMO."
    Last edited by Spud1; 23-03-2010 at 11:03 AM. Reason: to stop too much bad feeling..

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    DILLIGAF GoNz0's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    great fun until one whacks you up the arse and puts you in a wheel chair

    it wont be so funny then.

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    Seething Cauldron of Hatred TheAnimus's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    he owns a mac, enough said.
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    radix lecti dave87's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Oh dear, Government brainwashing has appeared to work.


    Speed Kills. Does it ****! As one commentator (may have been Jeremy Clarkson) once said, "It's not the speed that kills you, it's the sudden stop."

    And I dare say it would not only be BMW drivers who get annoyed with your antics in the outside lane. Highway code says keep left on a motorway, so at the end of the overtaking manoeuvre you should be moving into the inside lanes - this is not America where you can pick a lane willy-nilly and stay there driving at whichever speed you decide you want to do that day. So you could be done for driving without due care and attention, especially if behind the irate BMW/Audi drivers, there is a Police/Fire/Ambulance vehicle trying to make progress. Enjoy that chat when it comes round, won't you? Or alternatively, the fact the ambulance couldn't get to a family member at the time they needed it because some self righteous halfwit thought it was their job to enforce the law?

    I've got to say, this attitude really, really grinds with me - and far more than any middle lane moron or half awake pensioner behind the wheel ever could. Go get some driver training from the IAM or RoSPA, and see what they think of it....

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    Theoretical Element Spud1's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    have to say i'm a little surprised by the attitude of these first few replies..let me clarify a few things i obviously didn't make clear enough.

    1) I do pull over when theres a gap in the middle lane and people there are not driving at 50/60mph..i'm not stupid enough to sit in the right hand lane when there is space to be on one of the middle/left lanes. If there is no space then I am overtaking..which is perfectly justified IMO.

    2) The above was written very much in a jokey way as it really pisses me off the number of people who think its perfectly OK to break the laws that are in place. If you dont agree with them then fine but that doesnt mean you can just flaunt them and put peoples lives at risk

    3) the majority of these prats are not just going at 80 or 75..they really belt it down at 90+ and you can't seriously tell me thats safe.

    4) Speed cameras obviously dont work at the moment (although there are plans to put them on the whole of the M60 and other motorways..I applaud that however unfeasible it is. What else can we do to stop these idiots then? I realise some of you don't seem to think its stupid to try speeding down the motorway much faster than the majority of users so you wont get that discussion..but meh cant do anything about that.


    @ TheAnimus..OT but I do indeed, however i don't run OSX, the Mac Pro was just an absolute bargain at the time..1/2 the price of an equivalent self build at the time

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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    A fair point dave, as I think spud's attitude might be a little poorly thought out here. But regardless of that, there is this: "I'd pull into the middle lane if I could, but the traffic there is going too slow..so what can I do but stay there, at 70 (72 incidicated)". He's doing the speed limit, which regardless of our opinions on it, is the legal limit, and he says it isn't safe to merge into the middle lane, so he has every right to carry on doing what he's doing without being intimidated by drivers behind him with a different opinion of how the roads work.
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    LWA
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    To be honest I found your first post annoying - I really hate people that think it's okay to sit in the outside lane at 70mph just because is it the legal maximum speed limit - it's not your job to police the speeds people are doing. I would suggest more accidents are caused by drivers winding other drivers up than people speeding.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spud1 View Post
    1) I do pull over when theres a gap in the middle lane and people there are not driving at 50/60mph..i'm not stupid enough to sit in the right hand lane when there is space to be on one of the middle/left lanes. If there is no space then I am overtaking..which is perfectly justified IMO.
    However I pacified a little when you said you do move over into the middle lane when there's a gap.

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    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    As long as you moved over when you could, that's fine. Though taking enjoyment in preventing other people from breaking the law is a bit like playing police - we're allowed to do it in some circumstances but it's best not to in others.

    While it's unlikely, there are a few legal reasons why one can exceed the speed limit, and I know that in that situational I'd not be in the correct position to make that judgement for other people.

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    jim
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    So in conclusion, we need 5 lane motorways

    Lane 1 for people coming off the motorway, milk floats and lost pedestrians
    Lane 2 for people who think 60 is the limit, have a fear of driving, or drive old Skodas
    Lane 3 for people who would like to obey traffic laws and drive at 70, like our dear Spudster here
    Lane 4 for people who would like to overtake Spudster and then move back into lane 3 to also travel at 70
    Lane 5 for people who don't mind risk of death, want to show off their new 5.5L engine, or are very, very late

    Easy... and it'd only cost a few billion.

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    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post
    So in conclusion, we need 5 lane motorways

    Lane 1 for people coming off the motorway, milk floats and lost pedestrians
    Lane 2 for people who think 60 is the limit, have a fear of driving, or drive old Skodas
    Lane 3 for people who would like to obey traffic laws and drive at 70, like our dear Spudster here
    Lane 4 for people who would like to overtake Spudster and then move back into lane 3 to also travel at 70
    Lane 5 for people who don't mind risk of death, want to show off their new 5.5L engine, or are very, very late

    Easy... and it'd only cost a few billion.
    Only quashed by the fact that as soon as some people see more than three lanes their brains turn to mush and they are only happy driving in lane 4, regardless of how empty the other lanes are. M25/expanded M1 users, I'm looking at you...

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    LWA
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    The problem is due to the fact that the same ignorant people that you find ambling along our pavements (i.e. stopping abruptly, sporadically changing direction and generally getting in the way), are exactly the same on the roads.

    They are also so ignorant that it doesn't make the blind bit of difference if you try and educate in driving etiquette they still continue to do it the same way....

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    G4Z
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    I remember when I took my driving test (over 10 years ago now) my instructor told me to overtake something on t he dual carriageway if I got the chance just to show I could do it. So there I was on my test, tootling up the dual carriageway on the left hand lane and I come up behind a van doing 55ish. So I decide to overtake, and of course the guy in the van decides to speed up right when I got alongside. So I could complete my maneuver I broke the speed limit by about 10mph so I could get a way in front of him. Driving instructor passed me with only a couple of minors. I think in some situations you have to use some common sense and do what's most safe. I think sitting in the outside lane at 70 is just going to frustrate people and it would certainly frustrate me if I was sat behind you. Therefore I don't think your one man crusade is doing anybody any favours, sorry man.
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    jim
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Quote Originally Posted by kalniel View Post
    Only quashed by the fact that as soon as some people see more than three lanes their brains turn to mush and they are only happy driving in lane 4, regardless of how empty the other lanes are. M25/expanded M1 users, I'm looking at you...
    Hmmm, fair point. In that case, I think we should make lane 4 ridged. Not little ridges, so that the car gives you a gentle massage, more like a succession of speed humps so that spending more than 1 minute continuously in the fourth lane would give you serious spinal injuries. It'll add a few million to the final bill, but it's important to get it right.

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    LWA
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Quote Originally Posted by snootyjim View Post
    Hmmm, fair point. In that case, I think we should make lane 4 ridged. Not little ridges, so that the car gives you a gentle massage, more like a succession of speed humps so that spending more than 1 minute continuously in the fourth lane would give you serious spinal injuries. It'll add a few million to the final bill, but it's important to get it right.
    Whilst we're doing this upgrade, any change we could put cameras on roundabouts that check whether people indicate when approaching them? If they don't a sign would flash up saying:

    'No indicators? You're a dick.'

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    Seething Cauldron of Hatred TheAnimus's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Quote Originally Posted by Spud1 View Post
    @ TheAnimus..OT but I do indeed, however i don't run OSX, the Mac Pro was just an absolute bargain at the time..1/2 the price of an equivalent self build at the time
    Ah thats ok then, I'm back on your side now, so I'll go report Dave's *'d out swear word post
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    Theoretical Element Spud1's Avatar
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    Re: Fun on the drive to work

    Quote Originally Posted by G4Z View Post
    I think sitting in the outside lane at 70 is just going to frustrate people and it would certainly frustrate me if I was sat behind you. Therefore I don't think your one man crusade is doing anybody any favours, sorry man.
    I know in reality its going to do *nothing* except frustrate people..too many of my attempts at "one man crusades" are like that and some days it really makes me wish I could go against my principles of a free society..there is always a part of me that thinks some totalitarian concepts are actually useful..like the number of times I wish I could report people for speeding in stupid ways, having illegal plates, holding their phones to their ears while driving (and usually speeding at the same time)...but having that ability would crush society and go against everything I believe in..go figure lol. Annoying..but hey kinda proves that I can exercise Doublethink

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