I now understand why people don't get jobs, on purpose.

After working out how much I can earn in my job, working full time, then deducting everything from it, that I NEED to pay, I'd be left with bloody nothing of what I actually earn in the month, for me to live off..

How am I supposed to be able to leave the nest? How on earth am I able to live off the tiny amount of wages I would have left..

It's an utter joke.

9 to 5 job.. On £5.41 an hour at the rate I've been offered.
£952.16 a month.
-tax = £817.24
-council tax = £631

Less than £150 a week, for me to find a roof over my head, food, water, clothes, petrol to work, food at work, and everything else involved in running a home.

I just feel like I'm stuck because of the utterly ridiculous charges placed upon me.

Your figures are kinda hard to read. It would help if you actually stated your values - e.g. your council tax number implies the full amount on a band F property (£120k-£160k in Carlisle). And I can't work out how you calculated £134.92 for tax (£11,425.92 annual income minus £6,475 personal allowance makes £4,950.92 taxable at 20%, or £990.18 per year, or £82.52 per month)

edit: Make that band C - council tax is paid over 10 months with 2 payment free months

Quote:

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Originally Posted by directhex

Your figures are kinda hard to read. It would help if you actually stated your values - e.g. your council tax number implies the full amount on a band F property (£120k-£160k in Carlisle). And I can't work out how you calculated £134.92 for tax (£11,425.92 annual income minus £6,475 personal allowance makes £4,950.92 taxable at 20%, or £990.18 per year, or £82.52 per month)

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http://www.compareandsave.com/tools/...ry-calculator/
I used that, and it says "take home wage"..

Either way, I'm pretty screwed. I can't live with my parents for much longer, it's just a constant battle with everything I do, so I need to leave for my own sake. But I can't cos I couldn't possibly afford to :(.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

http://www.compareandsave.com/tools/...ry-calculator/
I used that, and it says "take home wage"..

Either way, I'm pretty screwed. I can't live with my parents for much longer, it's just a constant battle with everything I do, so I need to leave for my own sake. But I can't cos I couldn't possibly afford to :(.

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On minimum wage, no, you're not going to be able to afford your own place, unless it's a 0.5 bedroom ****hole. Consider a housemate or two, and bam, half the issues with bills go away.

If you're not totally averse to claiming benefits, you should be entitled to LHA. It probably wont be more than ~£50 per week and I'm not sure if there are any conditions attached (such as shared accommodation).

Best bet is to get yourself written up as depressed, as influenced by your current living conditions, and then put into the council for a place citing the GP's recomendation so you can get on the list as a priority case. Whilst you're at it, start applying for Housing Benefit (you're low income so chances are you'll get something towards the rent), and don't forget council tax will get a single occupant discount of 25%.

It won't be *great* but you should be able to afford basic food, gas and electricity bills, though not enough to run a car.

Matty.. i presume you are about 19 ish ? well, i left home at 21 (uni), and went into a shared house because my uni did not have many rooms in halls of residence. After 3/4 years bumming around at uni, i still stayed in shared house's for another 6 years. To be honest at the end of 10 years in shared houses i could not wait to get away... but in those years i had some of the best times ever! and we did live in some major dives, but it was all good. Apart from meeting many new people and friends the cost of living is greatly reduced/shared. it is not something i would have thought of doing had it not been forced upon me. Besides you might get a room in a house with 4 hot girls, and you will be forced to go out drinking with them and meet their hot friends.

i used to use, http://www.spareroom.co.uk/

and gumtree to find good rooms. it tends to be easier in university towns and cities to find a good room with cool people, but worth a look if you really need to leave your parents house

hope this helps

go to uni, then you probably will get more than minimum wsge

Save up and move somewhere you can earn more than minimum wage?

(but yes, I do see why you find it frustrating someone who has no intention of working a day in their life will have their own place just because they get themselves nocked up).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SiM

go to uni, then you probably will get more than minimum wsge

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QFT (if you get a proper degree)
However right now in case you heaven't noticed, there aren't many spare jobs aropund so I guess the reason you're looking at minimum wage is because you can't find something better paid. However once the country recovers, you'll be able to find a job that pays significantly more than that. The only people stuck at mimimum wage in a buoyant ecomomy are very lazy, stupid or stupidly risk averse to the point of just being plain stupid.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by badass

The only people stuck at mimimum wage in a buoyant ecomomy are very lazy, stupid or stupidly risk averse to the point of just being plain stupid.

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Or just made a series of very bad choices, often from not knowing any better, by not been aided by schooling or their family to actually better themselves.

I know living at home/with parents is painful..thats where I am now (again), and i'm on a job earning closer to £30k a year..saving for a deposit on a house, but I'm putting up with it because its the fastest way to get there, and I refuse to throw money away on rent (which in most cases, in the north at least, you are doing).

My advice would be to stay at home, save up as much money as possible and gain a bit of experience in the area you are working in - you may have to do it for 6-12 months or so but you will be much richer by the end of it and will be much more employable.

Don't get sucked into moving out too soon - you'll be so much better off if you can put up with waiting a bit longer (and also save the money that you are not spending on basic cost of living!)

edit: I must also say that there are *plenty* of jobs around IF you have the right experience and/or qualifications. It's very difficult right now for graduates with no commerical experience (so much competition) and for people without good qualifications, but if you get some of either (preferably a little of both) you should find it fairly easy to find a job..especially if you are flexible enough to relocate for the work. How do you get experience? By doing what you are doing now - taking a low paid job for a few months, or by doing a degree with a placement year, or even by staying at home and taking unpaid placements..the jobs are out there if you do a bit of groundwork first.

I think its unrealistic to think you can afford a place of your own. (Sorry) When I was at uni I was in halls, and then a shared flat, again at my second uni, shared flat then a house with friends. After that I moved into a shared house with friends for my first job stopped there for 6 years and then moved into a house with mortgage with my partner and still live there 10 years later. Bit small now as we have a resent addition.

You will notice though at no time did I have a place of my own and I was sponsored at university and payed significantly more than minimum wage after it. I might have been able to stretch to it however that would have meant having no free resources for a life style.

Matty, as the guys have said, it's highly unlikely that you'd be able to live on your own on those wages, and with respect at your age, it's unusual to be a single person in their own home.

I was selling cars from 18 years old and earning about £18,000 by the second year, back when houses were CHEAP (early 90's) and I had my own home by 20 years old.. but that was with a lass, sharing the bills etc. But 20 years later... 20 years later.. you need to earn more like £9 per hour to get even close to a cheap rented house.

damm and i thought im getting paid peanuts here but OP makes me look as if im well payed lol.

I know living with parents can seem to be limiting, living by "their" rules etc. Perhaps you will now start to see quite how much the have invested in you, simply by feeding, clothing and housing you, let alone everything else you have been given. Perhaps think of that next time they ask you to do the washing up or hoover the floor. One thing I missed was I took a year off before university to work at my sponsor for 100 quid a week (before tax)! I did live at home, I remember the "outraged" I felt when my mother asked me for a tenner a week in rent. You know what after the year was up they gave me the money back, as a starter gift for university... Man I felt so ashamed as i had them a real hard time about it. Just don't underestimate how much your parents do care for you and how much their support is worth.

The straight up and down of it is you're not (financially) ready to 'leave the nest'. Unless you're sitting on a healthy chunk of savings to get you kickstarted or are already in a decent earning job then you have to face the reality that living under your parents' roof is the best option.

I know a good few people who found out the hard way when they left home to start on their own that they simply couldn't afford it and ended up moving back home whether they liked it or not.

If you're serious about it, invest in your earning potential and get some more qualifications and experience in your particular field of expertise.

Running your own home isn't just about the static numbers that go in and out at the end of the month, it's the unexpected expenses that can cripple you and leave you short. You have to think about things like contingency funds for breakdowns/repairs and so on. If you're living hand to mouth how will you cope if all of a sudden your washing machine blows up?

It's all pretty depressing when you realise you can't afford to realistically strike out on your own at a young age but take it from some of us older people, if you plan it properly and maximise your earning power first you'll be in your own bachelor pad soon enough :)

I was in a similar position a few years ago, I bit the bullet and moved out. It was one of the things I regret most.

I went into a rented house with a friend, and it turned into hell. Even if you think you know someone/you really get along with them, and have never fallen out about anything, DO NOT take this for granted. I found that out the hard way. After 3 months I was sick of it, and just wanted out.

By that point I had got myself into quite a bit of debt, as I was only on something like 950-1000 a month, which quickly disapeared on rent/utilities/food/petrol etc. So anything else was being stuck on a credit card, or into my overdraft which was becoming a bigger, and bigger black hole.

In the end I was so unhappy/broke/fed up, I was almost in tears. (Ask Tiggerai, it wasnt a happy time for me :()
I got a van, and moved back home. Not ideal, and it did feel like a HUGE step back, not having my own house, being able to do what I wanted etc. BUT back at home I was able to live within my means, ok my lifestyle had to change a bit, but I got myself out of debt, and got back on my own two feet.

I have been there and done that, and I would truely say on that sort of money, don't move out unless you absolutely have to, and if you do, try and get a few other people as well. But make sure they are people you actually want to live with, and that they will pull there weight, and wont have to be chased for money all the time. Best way is to set up a joint account for all outgoings, and everyone just set up a DD into that account every month.

The advice everyone has given is all spot on.

Im my scenario as a kid growing up in London (and im sure the same in most other places nowdays) there was no way i could afford my own place. Started work at 16 living at home with the folks, and then as my wages went up moved into a massive shared house (6 off us, all between 18-25) these were some of the best days of my life to be honest and so glad i done this before settling down and getting mortgaged up. Do you have any friends you can get together with as this certainly helps spread the costs, for both the roof over your head as well as the bills etc.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rox0r

I know a good few people who found out the hard way when they left home to start on their own that they simply couldn't afford it and ended up moving back home whether they liked it or not.

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I have always found it better not to live with friends, as living together can turn you against each other. I have instead gone for acquaintances, a couple were not such good picks, however the majority ended up being friends. I find living with more than one other person works best for shared houses. As some end up being friends and so you realize you have little in common with, however you still have the others. Also no couples! They can be very annoying.

Lodge.

Right.. Time to reply to some of your suggestions.

Qualifications:
I have my GCSEs which I did ok in, wasn't too bad and wasn't all that great either.
I have my AS levels, which I did ok in, and now I'm doing my A2s but I haven't had a full week of teaching EVER this year, there has always been a teacher off each week.
The last 5 weeks of my A2s I haven't actually seen a teacher because all 4 of them haven't been in! So the chances of me passing my A2s are bloody slim so I'm just packing that in to find a job because it's not logical to stay there.
I also have no qualifications outside of 6th form.

Experience:
I've been working for Somerfield for nearly 2 years now, working 5-8 every morning stacking shelves and the like.. I have a perfect record there, and they recognise this.
But this is where I've been offered a full time job on £5.41 an hour, and tbh, this is all I can see myself doing. I don't really have any career paths I can follow, I'm just screwed.
But other than working there, I have no experience anywhere :(.

Shared accommodation:
This is something I\'m looking into now, but my mate went into shared housing a couple of years ago and ended up getting ALL of his stuff nicked, absolutely everything gone, so I\'m a bit wary about that kind of thing :(.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Right.. Time to reply to some of your suggestions.

So the chances of me passing my A2s are bloody slim so I'm just packing that in to find a job because it's not logical to stay there.
I also have no qualifications outside of 6th form.

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Here is your answer. Don't do this.

Don't pack them in - and for that matter don't take up that full time job offer at somerfield either. You are already what, over half way through your A2's and you just want to jack them in and waste all the work you have done so far? Madness imo. You DO have a good chance of passing your A2s, and then going to university. You just have to work for them. OK it is not going to be easy if your teachers are off half the time, and you cant get the help you need, but that doesn't make it impossible. Using the internet, your textbooks, the syllabus etc you should be able to get lots of the information that you need to pass your exams, if you put the time in.

even with E's and D's at A-level you can still get to university these days - not to one of the old fashioned "red brick" places but there are definitely options out there. When I applied to Staffordshire Uni they only needed 180 points to get in..which is nothing. A friend of mine actually only got 160points and still managed to get in (somehow)..it's not an amazing university but I still came out with a 1st class degree and that has allowed me to land the job I have now. I only got 220points at A level so I didn't do amazing either..but its not the end of the world and there are still options. I'm not trying to show off here but just to say that its possible even if you don't get the best A-levels in the world.

So essentially I am saying: Jack in the supermarket job - its going nowhere, and concentrate on your studies...believe me you will regret jacking in your A-levels, even if you don't go to university no employer will look kindly on that..why limit your options for just a few months extra work now?

Unfortunately it is more cost effective to be jobless with children, claim for a council house and your quids in, you actually loose out by working. Plenty of genuine people out there, however there are plenty that are not, because you get more benefits from not working.

If you then become an alcoholic you get more money ( to cope with your addiction ) and even more if your a drug addict as well.

Who wants to work when you can be of your face every day and loaded, playing XBOX all day !

I absolutely worked my arse off for my christmas exams, and got absolutely nowhere. 4 U's..
Mainly because I had no idea wth I was supposed to be learning, we had no text books because "school forgot". And when I went to ask who our "examining body" were, they said I'll have to ask my teacher, which was pretty bloody difficult seeing as I'd not actually met the bloke yet, cos he decided to go on holiday and not tell the school.

My life is literally full of other people ruining it. I try my absolute hardest all the time. Getting up at 5am every single morning to try and get some real world experience for next to no wage. Going to 6th form every single day, getting a 100% attendance throughout my whole school life. And yet, it's all for nothing because I go to an awful school, have awful teachers and just cba with it anymore.

Now do you see why I see it as utterly pointless?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

This is something I'm looking into now, but my mate went into shared housing a couple of years ago and ended up getting ALL of his stuff nicked, absolutely everything gone, so I'm a bit wary about that kind of thing :(.

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It depends how its rented to you, if you rent the room and your room is lockable you should be able to insure your stuff in your room. If you have a shared agreement, getting insurance for over 3 people can be a problem however some people will cover it, if its other people in the same housing nicking stuff, make sure they have better stuff than you before you move in.

Try hard with your A level, its much harder to get qualifications later in life (time, money and commitments), perhaps learning a trade might be a good move, plumbing, sparks and gas fitting are all good choices as they scare people off but are really pretty easy and are not very physical. If you don't mind moving, go to an "extreme" job, RIO-TINTO in oz pay 100,000 dollars a year for a 12 hour shift driving trains on their remote sights. They will even give you full training. London tube driver pays 30,000+ here and you get free transport.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Shared accommodation:
This is something I'm looking into now, but my mate went into shared housing a couple of years ago and ended up getting ALL of his stuff nicked, absolutely everything gone, so I'm a bit wary about that kind of thing :(.

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When you can\'t afford to stay on your own you don\'t usually have anything worth nicking - pare back to the essentials and flog the rest until you can afford them. If you need a laptop then make sure you have a kensington lock and something solid to lock it to. If you\'re lodging you don\'t normally have room for a lot of stuff anyway, but it\'s so cheap you can build up savings. If there is a lot of stuff you want to keep for whatever reason but don\'t need, then put it into storage - lodging + storage is much much cheaper than getting a place on your own.

But I think the risk of having everything nicked when you\'re lodging with a family is quite low.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

So the chances of me passing my A2s are bloody slim so I'm just packing that in to find a job because it's not logical to stay there.
I also have no qualifications outside of 6th form.

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As above; please don't do this. You may end up putting yourself into the bracket of the opening title. You only have a few months till you finish so take the pain and get on with it. When you finish you can then take up the job.

I think no one at your age has any idea what they want to do but by not finishing school you are beginning to limit your oppertunities when you decide there is something you may want to do. You'll have to re-invest the 9 months or what ever to get back to finishing your A-levels.

I would suggest trying to get work experience and build up an idea of what you would like to do. You are articulate so writing letters should be easy. Companies are keen to take people for free for a few days just to show them what goes on. We had an A-level student come in the other month for 2 days, not sure if we put him off or not but he seems quite interested. The careers people can be quite helpful if you have that facility.

I'm alot older and still have no idea what I want to do until I retire. With ok A-levels and a degree i have pretty much got as good job as I can in my chosen field with my lack of ambition. I messed up my degree and had to get a job with a much poorer company to get experience but eventually managed to land a sweet job. I know from here I am much more employable and still have a number of options.

Matty, dont give up on your studies, if you have put this much time and effort in, then you should continue.

Don't give up and keep trying, if things are really that bad at college, then go to the head of the college and complain, but for now, stay where you are.

You dad works for a garage right? Can he not get you some sort of job there? Try and get some experience as a mechanic? From talking to you on MSN you seem pretty knowledgable so it sounds like it might be ideal for you?

Another point, I hate to say it, but if you are at the point where your thinking about jacking it all in, and going straight into work, by all means stay on at a supermarket for a while, until you find your feet/find another job, but don't stay there, and expect a long term career out of it, unless you go down the route of management/getting on there graduate scheme.

Supermarket work is unskilled hence the not brilliant wages, I would be suprised if you would be able to make enough to support yourself doing anything unskilled.

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Originally Posted by rastamanblues

Supermarket work is unskilled hence the not brilliant wages, I would be suprised if you would be able to make enough to support yourself doing anything unskilled.

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And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

Matty, there must be something you are skilled at. You cant be unskilled right across the board so to speak.

What about an apprenticeship?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

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Why is it not going to happen? Well your right if you don't go in for the training and qualifications.

You, like every single other person who ends up in a dead end supermarket job, has every opportunity to gain those skills that can get you a decent job. Please don't give up like so many do..especially when you are at your age when its still relatively easy to do it!

Step 1 would be to go directly to the head of your college and complain about the lack of teaching. If that doesn't work go and speak to your local council, or whoever is running that particular college.

Even if that doesn't work you still have the option of learning yourself - in the evenings, at weekends (you don't need that supermarket job if you become serious about making a better life for yourself..). You *can* get the syllabus information online from the exam board website - if you can't find it then ring them up and ask them, they will help you out. If you don't know your board and for whatever reason your college won't help you, ring them all up and ask! They are only a few in the country, it won't take long.

You are probably best going to speak to someone at your local connexxions direct center for specific advice for your area..my point is that all is not lost if you are willing to put in the effort. You can do it if you want to..don't become another statistic..

edit: http://www.connexions-direct.com/ <-- those are the people to speak to for qualified help and advice, free of charge. As I keep trying to say though, you have to want to do it..and its not easy. You can though!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

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No thats not what I am saying. Look into a graduate scheme, all supermarkets do them, you said you've been there a while, 100% record etc, so why not have a word with them, enquire if there is such a scheme, and get some more details etc.

WHy not do a plumbing course or something similar? well paid they are and can easilys tart your own business out of it.

Me? im a software developer. not earning well for my experience at the moment but my next job will hopefuly grant me more doh for my skills as im looking to move to a better paid job and get a mortgage which i have been saving up for a while now.

OP stay at home man, follow your parents rules and save some of your doh so you can move out when the time is right.

Man my parents told me its best to decide on your future when your around 16 years old and follow that path.

i turned out pretty decent by following that said rule. did gcse A levels and uni.

hang in their and decide what you wanna do mate.

edit: people are not born with skills. remember that

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

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when faced with what can appear to be an insurmountable obstacle, it's easy to become despondent.

Don't be.

If the college you're attending is lacking in offering you support, start to have conversations with the relevant people, the form tutor, the year tutor and (if needed) the head of course/college. You have a right to education, don't be afraid to demand it.

I slipped through the net at the very last hurdle but managed to get reasonably lucky, my sister very nearly slipped through the net and had have done, were it not for an intervention and an ass kicking issued to the college for their incompetent attitude.

Everyone on this planet has a skill bud. Sit down, have a think about your passions in life, things you enjoy doing and do well. There's going to be a whole host of skills.

My advice to you, on a personal level, is not to give up on the hard work you've put in thus far. Working in a supermarket is below anybody and I refuse to accept you cannot do better.

Out of curiosity, what are your courses? (and what had you taken originally in A1?)

What do you enjoy doing? There may well be something that you like, and could be an apprentiship in that sort of field?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

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"Books" are not the only skill that is required in this world, however its the only one that is taught by school, if your not going to get academic qualifications, you need to get yourself vocational ones. Like trades, HGV licence etc. Even degrees aren't always helpful, ask a drama student who didn't get picked up for that bit role and now is doing photocopying! You need something to set yourself apart from others, if its not going to be school grades you need it to be something else.

Your other option is, self employment, your posting on HeXus so I assume your quite webby or computer (administrator) literate, thats a BIG skill to have get yourself some freelance work. You could even do this in parallel with a shelf stacking job, which isn't getting you any transferable skills.

Just so you all understand, my 6th form is absolute fail.

We got the worst OFSTED report possible, we're in "special measures", half the teachers have either left or just don't turn up anymore, no-one actually knows what they're doing, we have 3 people in the reception, and not one of them knows how to do any of the work they need to do.

We even have a head of college who is based 4 miles from our school! Because she's too fat and lazy to travel to our 6th form every day, yet she tells us we're not allowed to drink anything fizzy or eat chocolate or crisps, when she's probably about 30 stone herself.

We've even been in the national newspapers for the absolute lack of schooling at our school, it's terrible, useless and I'm not staying there any longer, just like many others have left.

And I'm also sick of paying the £5.70 a day to park near school because they decided that they could sell our car park to the law firm over the road, so now we have to park elsewhere, and pay every day (I can't get the bus cos there isn't one). [And that was done because it's now funded by "sponsors", not the government. So all they're bothered about is money, not teaching.

I was in the same position myself many years ago <cough>1980s</cough>.
All the advice here is spot on. But you need a plan.
1) Don't leave home yet. You can't afford it.
2) Decide what to study. If the school is crap, get a trade or a study group and teach yourselves. University is best IMHO. If you can find people in a similar situation it really helps. You motivate each other and help out when you get stuck.
3) You can work and study at the same time. Look for a new role that aligns with the studying. They may even pay for the studies.
4) You come across as articulate and motivated. You can, and will, get a decent job. Don't doubt this. It may take some time however.
5) Never, ever give up. You'd be surprised at how many people are in, or have been in the same boat.

It's not for everyone, but some of my mates have had amazing opportunities by joining the military. There are a lot of jobs which are nowhere near the "front-line" too. Might be worth a look?

PS +1 to finishing your course - even if you don't pass it'll look better on your record then pulling out.

Stop focusing on the negative, parking for school think how lucky you are being able to drive and having access to a car. At my school we were not allowed to drive to school period, and it was in oxford so no parking anywhere else at an affordable rate and I had no car. I cycled 10 miles each way to get to school, yes there was a bus however I could cycle it faster.

So school is a bust? What would you like to do? You can drive, how about becoming a driving instructor? At school (normally) you get fed things, when you get outside you have to feed yourself, if you don't have a target you will not get there, if you just accept your amount to nothing you will. Every moment you spend learning skills while your young can pay off 5 fold later in life. So you didn't get the start your should have had, and so you feel you need to take matters into your own hands, this could be productive and good. So long as you have a plan, going to work and going home is not a plan, its a way of watching your life disappear. Myself, I did have a good start, however I wasn't so lucky later and have been made redundant 5 times and I have spent over a year unemployed on more than one occasion. Winners are the people who just keep coming back and don't give up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Just so you all understand, my 6th form is absolute fail.

We got the worst OFSTED report possible, we're in "special measures", half the teachers have either left or just don't turn up anymore, no-one actually knows what they're doing, we have 3 people in the reception, and not one of them knows how to do any of the work they need to do.

We even have a head of college who is based 4 miles from our school! Because she's too fat and lazy to travel to our 6th form every day, yet she tells us we're not allowed to drink anything fizzy or eat chocolate or crisps, when she's probably about 30 stone herself.

We've even been in the national newspapers for the absolute lack of schooling at our school, it's terrible, useless and I'm not staying there any longer, just like many others have left.

And I'm also sick of paying the £5.70 a day to park near school because they decided that they could sell our car park to the law firm over the road, so now we have to park elsewhere, and pay every day (I can't get the bus cos there isn't one). [And that was done because it's now funded by "sponsors", not the government. So all they're bothered about is money, not teaching.

---

Please.....enough of the heart rending sob story.

Get a job.. ANY job, in any shop. It's only once you've GOT a job you can build a career.

I started work in 1989 as a parts person for a BMW dealers on enough money to pay for my own cars fuel and insurance and to give my mum a few quid per month.

Little did I know it would lead to 20 years of motor trade.

Ditto my sister. Worked part time, as a school kid, in a stationery shop in the High St. of our home town. She simply organised their stock room and operated the till. By the time she'd left school she has a load of communication skills, organisation skills and a direction. Those skills helped her to get the jobs she's had.

So... in short... you have to work for no nearly money to find your way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zak33

So... in short... you have to work for no nearly money to find your way.

---

I KP'd a bit one summer, working illegally as a 15 yo in a kitchen was against local bylaws so I got a little less than you get on min wage (but hey, I was one of the victims of it!).

It in no way helped me learn any skills, I couldn't even slack or ever properly engage with my seniors!

What it did do is polarize me, I knew that if I was doing that in 10 years time I'd be having to take so damn many drugs i'd die at 30.

So I nuckled down a bit more, taught myself lots of skills (mostly computing as that was an obvious strength) and hey presto, I now make in about 2 minutes what I made in an hour 9 years on!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And that's my problem.

I'm useless. I have no skills. So I'm gonna have to do "unskilled work" all my life, unless I can magically become skilled, but that's not gonna happen.

---

There's no "magic" to becoming skilled, most work related skills are learnt by doing. If the school's failing you, then yes I agree that stopping with them and working during the day is a good idea but look at doing your examinations through another college as evening classes. If your subjects don't appeal, look at courses that do there's plenty of variety in NVQ's out there and if you're 19 or under, I believe there's funding that can be had to help offset some or all of the costs too.

Best place to start is Citizens Advice, and your local job Centre, and if you really run into a brick wall, try your local MP (assuming they are actually local) or your councellors.


Right now, your life sounds really hard, and I know how easy it is to blame outside influences for things, but the solution really does only come from within I'm afraid.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

My life is literally full of other people ruining it.

Now do you see why I see it as utterly pointless?

---

Welcome to the club, because unless you're in it, then you just don't understand.

I finished school with pretty poor qualifications, a few 'highers' (not sure what the eqivalent in England is, you sit them in the last 2 years of high school).

Anyway, they weren't good enough to get me into to uni. I was really really gutted. I got pretty despondent , worked in Millets for best of a year ( which was utterly soul destroying). My parents were pretty cool about it though, and my mum encouraged my to apply for college. I got in.

A year of college and a 'B' in HNC social sciences was enough to get accepted at uni. When you're a student living with other students you don't pay any tax unless you earn over 6k a year from a job and you don't pay council tax either. It's a good deal really, and whilst a degree doesn't guarantee you a good wage once you get a job, it certainly increases the chances. You also learn a lot and meet a lot of people in your 4/5 years at uni. It's a good experience and you certainly seem smart enough for it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zak33

Please.....enough of the heart rending sob story.

---

Ok, cheers.

That's all I needed, so bye.

Matty, remember your first 'big thread' here on Hexus? Doesn't seem so bad now, with hindsight. Neither will this, in a few years time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

That's all I needed, so bye.

---

So what do you want us to do? One option we can feel sorry for you, the other option is we can try to give you a little help and advice as many of us as been through rough times as well. So..... as the latter is not what you seem to want.

Sorry to hear things are going badly for you, it seems things really suck and fate has dealt you a poor set of cards, I hope they get better good luck.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Just so you all understand, my 6th form is absolute fail.

We got the worst OFSTED report possible, we're in "special measures", half the teachers have either left or just don't turn up anymore, no-one actually knows what they're doing, we have 3 people in the reception, and not one of them knows how to do any of the work they need to do.

We even have a head of college who is based 4 miles from our school! Because she's too fat and lazy to travel to our 6th form every day, yet she tells us we're not allowed to drink anything fizzy or eat chocolate or crisps, when she's probably about 30 stone herself.

We've even been in the national newspapers for the absolute lack of schooling at our school, it's terrible, useless and I'm not staying there any longer, just like many others have left.

And I'm also sick of paying the £5.70 a day to park near school because they decided that they could sell our car park to the law firm over the road, so now we have to park elsewhere, and pay every day (I can't get the bus cos there isn't one). [And that was done because it's now funded by "sponsors", not the government. So all they're bothered about is money, not teaching.

---

Wowsers. That is frightening. Definitely sounds like you should leave straight away, as you're just wasting your time there. You're obviously an intelligent person from the posts I've seen of yours, and there is no way you should be getting U's in your exams. It's the schools fault, not yours.

Regarding jobs - yes, you will get paid a pittance at first, but if you're smart - which you obviously are - you'll quickly work your way up to a much better wage. You really won't believe how many f***wits are out there. If you're even half-way smart, you'll be earning plenty of money and ordering all the other imbeciles about before you know it. Anyway, the above assumes you're just starting off in any old job you can get. Really, you want to be trying to get into something that you can see yourself properly enjoying, be that an apprenticeship, job, uni or otherwise. Think of what you enjoy, and start signing up to things.

Houses: If you're young, you definitely want to be in a shared house. MUCH more fun, even if it is messy/stressful sometimes. I didn't live on my own (well, with girlfriend) until I was ~28.

Anyway, good luck - but deffo leave that school ASAP I'd say.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Ok, cheers.

That's all I needed, so bye.

---

Sorry chap, but sometimes a dose of reality is what everyone needs.

What would you like us to do? Give you some skills? Maybe offer you a nice luxury pad to live in? Pay you vast amounts of money to sit around doing nothing?

Life is tough, get used to it now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Ok, cheers.

That's all I needed, so bye.

---

Oh ffs, seriously grow up.

When you hear an answer you don't want, you then seem to be think the 'whole' world is against you, and were all ganging up or something.

Were not, ALOT of us have been there, or v similar situations before. So we do know what were talking about.

It's also a bit of a reality check, as life isnt ever fair, its not often easy. Why should we all sugar coat it, and not say how it is?

What were you expecting? Do you think your the only one that has a tough time? There are always people much worse off.

lol

I give up... seriously.. I do.

I surrender.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rastamanblues

What were you expecting? Do you think your the only one that has a tough time? There are always people much worse off.

---

Yes, I'm maybe expecting a bit of sympathy when my grandmother dies, or maybe a bit of advice from my dad, when I see him, or maybe even just for my teacher to turn up to try and make something of my life? Maybe for me to not get thrown out of my home? Maybe for my girlfriend to not start ****ing my mate? Or possibly even just someone to talk to? How about maybe not having to look after an 8 year old autistic sister practically on my own? It's impossible, and i thought i'd maybe try and just move away, but yes, that's also impossible.


So yeah, I'm 18, and what, you expect me to deal with all that in the space of a month, on my own? With absolutely no-one to talk to?

Matty - people are trying to help you, don't misplace people's honesty for a lack of empathy.

You need new mates...:(

On the bright side, got any ideas on what you'd like ? You're young and bright, there's not much you can't learn if you want to. Chartered Accountancy ? :)

Contrary to the posts here, while "Shelf stacking" isn't a "Skilled" job, it still requires some skills that can be transferred into other jobs.
Teamwork, Punctuality, Initiative to name a few.

Matty - I think your best bet would be to find a college to do a vocational course in something you like to do.
If not, find an apprenticeship or use your gumption and write some letters to local businesses asking if they have any work as a junior.
If you need any assistance with this, then please give us a shout.

If you're haveing to go through all of that then you need to go and talk to a professional. Start with the Doctor (if you need some care assistance with your sister), go and talk to Citizens' advice bureau, connexions (whatever they're called - young peoples job and career centres) - there are loads of people out there, you don't have to go through it alone.

Some people have it tough, but it's those who fight on through and make the most of it that will win big in the end. The people who give up and can't be bothered, turn into the chav losers that we all hate.

The best thing I can say is that we're all trying to help, so don't act all defensive when we're telling you what's what, we've been there, done that, got the t-shirt between us.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

So yeah, I'm 18, and what, you expect me to deal with all that in the space of a month, on my own? With absolutely no-one to talk to?

---

Are we no one, I saw lots of people giving you lots of advice about options you have. How do you think mature students pass A levels they get the text books (using their own money) and they learn from them, and they pay for extra tutoring help. Why are you talking on HeXus when you could be studying? I think my mom dying and being made redundant at the same time is worse than that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tiggerai

Punctuality

---

Punctuality is a skill these days?! :surprised: Obviously the bar is set lower than I thought... :laugh:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fraz

Punctuality is a skill these days?! :surprised: Obviously the bar is set lower than I thought... :laugh:

---

Some people don't seem to see it that way!!! :) Reliability... whatever... sticking at a job for more than 5 mins.

You know what I mean.

Grit your teeth, stay at home and keep the supermarket job. I'd seriously look at getting a degree of some sort. You can get into college with very little qualifications. Your work will be pretty understanding about things like this, if you say you want to go to college and work they will be accommodating and you can work around it.

If you stay at home you can start saving some money, and eventually when you finish college get a much better paying job.

Just stick at it, you will regret it for the rest of your life if you just give up and get stuck in some dead end job.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Yes, I'm maybe expecting a bit of sympathy when my grandmother dies, or maybe a bit of advice from my dad, when I see him, or maybe even just for my teacher to turn up to try and make something of my life? Maybe for me to not get thrown out of my home? Maybe for my girlfriend to not start ****ing my mate? Or possibly even just someone to talk to? How about maybe not having to look after an 8 year old autistic sister practically on my own? It's impossible, and i thought i'd maybe try and just move away, but yes, that's also impossible.


So yeah, I'm 18, and what, you expect me to deal with all that in the space of a month, on my own? With absolutely no-one to talk to?

---

Oh stop taking things out of context again.

Of course were going to be sympathetic, and offer advice/a shoulder when its needed.
But it seems that you can't take it when people disagree, or suggest things to do rather than sitting there complaining about it all.

Also I'm not even going down the next route, because this isnt a game of top trumps.

Like I said, what do you enjoy? Is there anything you've seen before and thought oh I quite like the look of that, etc. As there are a whole world of careers out there, alot of which don't require you to know anything, as all of this can/will be taught and learnt on the way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rastamanblues

Oh stop taking things out of context again.

Of course were going to be sympathetic, and offer advice/a shoulder when its needed.
But it seems that you can't take it when people disagree, or suggest things to do rather than sitting there complaining about it all.

Also I'm not even going down the next route, because this isnt a game of top trumps.

---

No, my problem is with Zak, telling me to stop it with the sob story, it's not a sob story, it's my circumstances, and what I have to live with every day, so I don't see how in anyway telling me to stop explaining what I live with is "the sob story". It's not X factor. I'm not doing it to try and get a job off one of you, I'm doing it so you all understand, but obviously making this thread was pretty pointless, cos you're just telling me to grow up.

Try bringing up a child, sitting up with her for 3 nights while she's coughing till she's sick, then going to work after 2 hours of sleep, and then 6 form to find you have no teacher again, so you have to try your absolute hardest to learn it from a book. I'd happily do this, if I brought her into this world, but I never, and this IS my dad's job, that I have to do.

And this is to everyone, just stop posting please, cos it's getting nowhere, I'll fight my own way out again. Cos I'd rather not listen to the "oh ffs, grow up" and "stop the sob story" cos it doesn't ****ing help.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

No, my problem is with Zak, telling me to stop it with the sob story, it's not a sob story, it's my circumstances, and what I have to live with every day, so I don't see how in anyway telling me to stop explaining what I live with is "the sob story". It's not X factor. I'm not doing it to try and get a job off one of you, I'm doing it so you all understand, but obviously making this thread was pretty pointless, cos you're just telling me to grow up.

Try bringing up a child, sitting up with her for 3 nights while she's coughing till she's sick, then going to work after 2 hours of sleep, and then 6 form to find you have no teacher again, so you have to try your absolute hardest to learn it from a book. I'd happily do this, if I brought her into this world, but I never, and this IS my dad's job, that I have to do.

And this is to everyone, just stop posting please, cos it's getting nowhere, I'll fight my own way out again. Cos I'd rather not listen to the "oh ffs, grow up" and "stop the sob story" cos it doesn't ****ing help.

---

*sigh* your doing it again.

It wasn't pointless, countless people have offered advice, but no instead post after post is negative comments, instead you seem to always focus on the negative.

You want help/advice, were all trying to give it. We don't need to hear the sob story, as it sounds like you keep trying to throw that back at us, in a my life is worse than yours way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

Right.. Time to reply to some of your suggestions.

Qualifications:
I have my GCSEs which I did ok in, wasn't too bad and wasn't all that great either.
I have my AS levels, which I did ok in, and now I'm doing my A2s but I haven't had a full week of teaching EVER this year, there has always been a teacher off each week.
The last 5 weeks of my A2s I haven't actually seen a teacher because all 4 of them haven't been in! So the chances of me passing my A2s are bloody slim so I'm just packing that in to find a job because it's not logical to stay there.
I also have no qualifications outside of 6th form.

Experience:
I've been working for Somerfield for nearly 2 years now, working 5-8 every morning stacking shelves and the like.. I have a perfect record there, and they recognise this.
But this is where I've been offered a full time job on £5.41 an hour, and tbh, this is all I can see myself doing. I don't really have any career paths I can follow, I'm just screwed.
But other than working there, I have no experience anywhere :(.

Shared accommodation:
This is something I'm looking into now, but my mate went into shared housing a couple of years ago and ended up getting ALL of his stuff nicked, absolutely everything gone, so I'm a bit wary about that kind of thing :(.

---

Matty i believe i am in a similar situation as you (bar the job, no one has accepted me from an interview/application yet after 1 and a half years and 50 applications!). I was thinking packing in my A2 but eventually i decided not to.

I need 240Points for computing at Plymouth uni and to be honest i failed most of my AS and my business studies course, well everyone in the class got marked down (i went from 95% overall to -> 56%!!!!). Now i have 2 subjects left, ICT and business and ICT i keep failing along with Economics which i have no teacher for and am stuck so cant complete the course.

However i am keeping with it, because I noticed a foundation level at Plymouth for computing only requires 80points (1 A2 C, or 2 A2 E's), this does mean an extra year at UNi so an extra 3grand but i saw it with a positive view with the points as followed:

1. Its "easier" to get in
2. It gives me an extra year to fit in
3. Extra time to finish the basics and actually start on the full course outside of uni (programming etc)
4. Extra time at home :D
5. Still has a year optional work placement

So i thought it was pretty good, luckily my parents saved some cash over the years so im getting the first year paid for me and i pay for the rest. Hopefulyl by that time i get accepted for a job somewhere :P.


Dont give up mate, just keep going to sixth form, do your best and then come to plymouth uni with me :D.[/LIST][/LIST]

Matt - there has been plenty of good, considerate and sympathetic advice in this thread. You seem to be choosing to ignore all these posts and are instead concentrating on the posts you don't like.

This smacks of self-pity, which is the least useful state-of-mind you could possibly have. Accept that you have some fairly massive problems to overcome, and start overcoming them. Sitting there in a piteous mire and wallowing in all your problems is not going to get you anywhere.

No problem is too large. You just need to start at the beginning and solve small steps one at a time.

And *sigh* no-one gives a **** about what I say again, just as it always has been.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And *sigh* no-one gives a **** about what I say again, just as it always has been.

---

:rolleyes: Are you actually reading our responses?

Matty, mate come on.

I understand that things arent going good for you at the moment and have been very tough for you for quite a while now and it just seems to be one thing after another, BUT you have proven already that you are a fighter and you KNOW you WILL get through this, it might not be straight away but you WILL get through it.

People on hexus will always be around to talk to, as will your real mates. Matty you know yourself that sometimes you have to be cruel to people to be kind, maybe its time to stand up to your dad like you did with your mum?

Dont take out your anger and frustration on the Hexus group mate, especially when some are trying to help. No one likes hearing what they dont want to, whomever it may be that says it or how it is said.


Its part of life mate, its sh*t but it is what it is and you have to do the best you possibly can with the hand you are given and if you dont like it, work your damn hardest to change it!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fraz

Matt - there has been plenty of good, considerate and sympathetic advice in this thread. You seem to be choosing to ignore all these posts and are instead concentrating on the posts you don't like.

This smacks of self-pity, which is the least useful state-of-mind you could possibly have. Accept that you have some fairly massive problems to overcome, and start overcoming them. Sitting there in a piteous mire and wallowing in all your problems is not going to get you anywhere.

No problem is too large. You just need to start at the beginning and solve small steps one at a time.

---

And every single time I take a "pro-active" mind-set, it never works. I have no reason to believe that it will ever work either.

My dad doesn't care. My mam doesn't care AT ALL. My school don't care. My ex no longer cares. I have literally no-one left. But yet, people are telling me to stay positive, how?!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

And every single time I take a "pro-active" mind-set, it never works. I have no reason to believe that it will ever work either.

My dad doesn't care. My mam doesn't care AT ALL. My school don't care. My ex no longer cares. I have literally no-one left. But yet, people are telling me to stay positive, how?!

---

Ok... so get a job, move out, meet some people who do care, and show the finger to everyone else. Sure, it might take a while, but probably not much longer than a year.

Edit: Alternatively, develop a skag habit, and you won't care either :D

Matty, life sucks, but it will get better for you! :). Everybody goes through rough patches, but there will always be something round the corner for you! :)

I massively unexpectedly failed my A levels (U, E, E, D) which destroyed me for a good few months but luckerly i pulled my senses together and got onto a foundation year at University. The foundation year was THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE. I met my mates, my ex-girlfriend (was fun for 3 years anyway :p), and ultimately had so much fun I would make Disney Land look like prison. I grew up, i matured and I gained skills and after the year joined a full time engineering course doing Auto & mechanical Engineering. Three years of semi-hard work, and I got offered an outstanding job which I will be starting this September.

Not bad for someone who failed his A levels, applied for a university course 2 weeks before it started and only managed to scrape in on a foundation year. Life has its peaks & its troughs, and take it from a father-at-21-with-a-girlfriend-who-left-him-and-has-to-travel-200miles-a-week to-see-his daughter-for-2-hours-and-who-sees-his-family-once-a-year*(they live abroad) that life will pick up & you will be amazed as what you can achieve with a litre of redbull, some determination and a damn good song on in the background! :)


edit: for the record, finances should not be an issue with university, student loan, bursaries and a part time job will ensure you have more then enough money at uni. :)

edit2: * funny story actually, I told my mum I got my ex-gf pregnant over the phone & my dad over the MSN. I was so scared at what my Dad might shout at me down the phone that I told him over MSN, you've never seen someone type, delete and retype stuff so much in your life! :p. That and when my mum said 'When did it Happen?' I thought she said 'Where did it happen' and told her the backseat of my car without thinking! :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

My dad doesn't care. My mam doesn't care AT ALL. My school don't care. My ex no longer cares. I have literally no-one left. But yet, people are telling me to stay positive, how?!

---

YOU have to care as ultimately it's your life.

You came here wanting advice - if you didn't why make the original post? I saw it this morning and thought maybe I might say something to advise. Well other's have and it's all been positive. If you didn't come here for advice what did you want?

You want sympathy?? - no you don't want sympathy, you want practical solutions that will get you out of the situation that you find yourself in.

At this moment in time I recommend that you talk to your GP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andehh

That and when my mum said 'When did it Happen?' I thought she said 'Where did it happen' and told her the backseat of my car without thinking! :D

---

:clapping:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

I have literally no-one left. But yet, people are telling me to stay positive, how?!

---

i has solution!. Just aim for finishin sixthvform and then get down to plymouth uni, ill make sure you have a laugh with me during urtime here, im sure we could even rent the house am in now if u actually came here :D.

my gf left me n cheated. on me so i learnt not to rely on gfs if u can. it sucks for u as far as i can see you have it rough, ur parents shouldnt of done thar to u and ur schoo shouldbe better. i hope u pull threw, if you need a hand or anythin just let me know :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andehh

That and when my mum said 'When did it Happen?' I thought she said 'Where did it happen' and told her the backseat of my car without thinking! :D

---

http://www.navitron.org.uk/forum/Smi...c/facepalm.gif

Well there has been stacks f good advice about what you could do, so lets turn it round - what do you want to do?

Where do you want to be in 5, 10 or 15 years time?

How do you intend getting there?

What advice (if any) in this thread has made you pause and think "I could do that?" or I'd like to do that?"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by peterb

Well there has been stacks f good advice about what you could do, so lets turn it round - what do you want to do?

---

I don't know, mechanic maybe.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by peterb

Where do you want to be in 5, 10 or 15 years time?

---

5) Settling down, in a decent job earning a decent wage.
10) Settled down, own home, maybe family.
15) Same as above, but maybe in another country.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by peterb

How do you intend getting there?

---

I don't know, the mechanic route seems good, my dad's the head-tech at Ford, one of only a handful of "Master Technicians" in the country and my uncle runs and owns his own rally team so mechanics and cars is what I've been brought up around. I also got an A* in my GCSE Systems & Controls course, the first pupil to get an A* with my teacher, and he'd been teaching for years and years.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by peterb

What advice (if any) in this thread has made you pause and think "I could do that?" or "I'd like to do that?"

---

DisturbedGuy's suggestion of the mechanics. Possibly the army, just as a "way out".

matty.. I am sorry.

I apologise. I had no intention of hurting your feelings. Some people NEED telling straight.. (me) and some don't (you)

At your age you should not be looking after your kid sister, it's not fair I agree.

At 18 I should not have been so lucky. But I was. What to do to help YOU..?

I empathise.. I'm sorry you're hurting and I think you're having a bad break of it. I have no idea how to help, other than tell you what everyone has already told you. Stick at the sh1t job and you'll get life skills from it. Get another and better one as soon as you can.

If this aint good enough, I'm snookered as to advice as I can't drag you to a job centre by your hair and get you an interview.

BUT.. if you don't snap out of this crappy feel-bad-factor, you're interview skills will be.. sod all tbh.. I'd not employ you like you are right now. No sireeee.

Think about that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

...mechanics.

---

At the risk of sounding like I'm on commission, if you joined the army as a mechanic they would pay you while you train (I think) and give you a pretty reasonable wage at the end of it (a Private's salary starts at £16.5k and goes up to £25k) with more as you get promoted.

Then again, it is the Army...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

I don't know, the mechanic route seems good, my dad's the head-tech at Ford, one of only a handful of "Master Technicians" in the country and my uncle runs and owns his own rally team so mechanics and cars is what I've been brought up around. I also got an A* in my GCSE Systems & Controls course, the first pupil to get an A* with my teacher, and he'd been teaching for years and years.

---

Blimey, I know a lot of guys at university who would kill for contacts like that! :) . I say ring them up ASAP and see if they can offer you a part time job, some voluntary experience or even if you could just have a tour of the place to get a feel for it & whether it is something you'd like to do. Ring them soon & tell us how what they say! Don't forget to remind them of your 2 years with your current job, the qualities that has instilled within you and assure them with your dedication, gleeming record and your drive that you can see yourself being a genuine asset to what they do!

Sell yourself to them before telling them what your after. Be confident, sure of yourself and assure them you will be of benefit to them.

THEN, promise us that in the future when things have picked up, your on track and have some serious dreams, hopes and aspirations that you will great a thread like I did, and many others have, telling us about how happy you are with your current situation! :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GheeTsar

At the risk of sounding like I'm on commission, if you joined the army as a mechanic they would pay you while you train (I think) and give you a pretty reasonable wage at the end of it (a Private's salary starts at £16.5k and goes up to £25k) with more as you get promoted.

Then again, it is the Army...

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Yep, with the good pension, job security, pay & solid route to more money and promotions (as you say) and the maturity and respect that go along with serving in the military! :)

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

DisturbedGuy's suggestion of the mechanics. Possibly the army, just as a "way out".

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Why not an army mechanic? You'd get a place to live, a wage and experience

Or an engineer in the RAF? Means you have no real chance of "being on the front line" so your safe in that respect and you also get all the benefits of being in the military (education/pay/accomodation), its also better paid than the army iirc.

Right, my go...

I think we're from a similar type of background. I don't know, I don't want to make assumptions.
I'm 21, I live in my mum's house, I earn £150 a week.

I got nothing above a D in my GCSE's, I did drop out of college, Uni has/was never really been an option I saw as available to me.

You know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

I had just "a job" ('Working with computers' as every 18 yeard old Hexite wishes to do) which would have got me nowhere. Luckily, some events happened and I ended up not having that job, but that's another story.

So, I was 18, jobless, unskilled... I know the feeling of looking at the "Job Centre Plus" website and seeing absolutely nothing that was relevant to me; And I knew I was better than getting a job at McDonalds, or as in your case, a supermarket. I knew I wasn't one of these workshy scroungers that drag this country down, but I was a victim of my own circumstances and found myself at a loss as what to do.

I went to connexions (An absolutely useless place in my mind)... the usual garbage... 'Write a good C.V.', no real advice. My options were pretty much exactly the same as you have been told here: Go back to college, find a crappy job and try to make the most of it, an apprenticeship, the army, or sit around and feel sorry for myself.

I chose the apprenticeship option.

Three years later, I am literally weeks away from being a fully qualified electrician, something which will pay well anywhere I choose to live in the world. I have just got back from an amazing trip to Thailand, I can afford to have a decent social life because of the fact I live at home, and still mange to put some money away each week. All this because I literally walked into a small electrical firm to ask if they had any advice for me if I was going to start trying to find an apprenticeship. The fact that I got off my arse and actually went in instead of posting dozens of letters (Like connexions will advise you), was enough for them to give me a job.

Three years may sound like a long time but it has flown by, and I have never looked back. I look now at some people I went to school with who have just "winged it" with crappy jobs, and piss and moan because they still earn minimum wage, and I have no sympathy. I earned £90 a week for the first year, but it doesn't matter... it's a means to an end.

So... man up. Who knows where you will be in a few years, just because things are a bit crappy now doesn't mean your life is over.

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Originally Posted by matty-hodgson

I don't know, mechanic maybe.



5) Settling down, in a decent job earning a decent wage.
10) Settled down, own home, maybe family.
15) Same as above, but maybe in another country.



I don't know, the mechanic route seems good, my dad's the head-tech at Ford, one of only a handful of "Master Technicians" in the country and my uncle runs and owns his own rally team so mechanics and cars is what I've been brought up around. I also got an A* in my GCSE Systems & Controls course, the first pupil to get an A* with my teacher, and he'd been teaching for years and years.



DisturbedGuy's suggestion of the mechanics. Possibly the army, just as a "way out".

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Well, thats a good start, you have some goals to aim for, and perhaps some vague idea of how you might get there.

How about fleshing those out? An apprenyiceship (or equivalent) with someone like Ford would be agood start, but in times of recession and with the state of the motor industry that might be hard to find.

Several posters have mentioned the Armed Forces. The Army, Navy and Air Force all offer excellent training in those fields. Because of that competition is firece, but if you get in, you have a good reate of pay, an almost surrogate family and not a bad quality of life. There are drwbacks. Apart from the obvious one (particularly applicable to the Army at the moment) in that you are in an armed frce, there is the discipline, and a degree of comitment when you sign on. But the education and training are good, and if you progress, is certainly equal to degree standard. But it doesn't suit everyone. But it wouldn't do any harm to look in at a recruting office (and its quite safe, the press gangs finished a few hundred years ago! :) )

Do you have a careers service at College? might be worth talking to them. And you mentioned a relation with connections to the motor industry. Try that approach and see what is avilable or possible.

Just at the moment Matty, I have no advice for you. But I suspect you're fed up to your eye's teeth with advice.

But if you want to talk, we are listening.

Sounds like you have your hands full and you're going through a tough time. Believe me, life tests us all in one way or another and dealing with those tests is a skill in itself. You cannot resolve all of them easily so just keep cool and keep talking.

I often get people having a go at me here but it's because they love me. I know that :). Same applies to you.

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Originally Posted by SammEl

HEXUS is full of old geeks that really don't understand real life situations

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Oh yes, no-one on here has a real life, all they do is sit around typing on HEXUS... :rolleyes:

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I've learnt that the hard way by also being completely honest and you get utter ****e back from them.

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By the sheer fact that it is only you that that happens to do you not think there is a common denominator? :rolleyes:

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A bad situation to these guys is a broken mobo and no internet for a day

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Oh yes, no-one on here has real issues in real life :rolleyes:

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oh, and apparently, being rich means that any personal problem isn't a problem because you have money to fall back on, rofl.

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No-one said anything about money, EVER, NO-ONE GIVES A FLYING ****!, You're the one that always brings it up! :rolleyes:

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You want advice on real life? Don't post on these forums.

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Oh yes, that is really helpful advice for Matty :rolleyes:

Stop being a troll here and go find a bridge... This is a serious thread FFS...








Right, back to case in point, Matty, mate, i seriously don't know what to say, things have just got worse and worse, i've always kept my neb out because i just don't have the experience..

However, yes your wages suck ([they are actually better than what i am on £5.25 40 hours per week, but taking circumstances into consideration, that obviously leaves you alot worse off than it does me)

As has been said by a few people (including yourself), you're not going to be able to afford a place of your own on that kind of income without going for a shared house, but also as you have said, you're not really happy with that because of past experiences from friends (re stolen things)
But TBH i can't think of any other way to get around it... :(

Uni is still an option, no matter what grades you get (i've got mates who literally have nothing get in on foundation years to then progress to the full course) so if that is something that you were interested in, and actually getting some quality education[unlike your sixth form] (afterall, a foundation year is just a year, sure it\'s a bastard that you\'ve been let down by the government, but you can\'t change the past, merely look back and moan, so just look forwards.

There will undoubtedly be even more hurdles, although nothing compared to what you have faced, but little things build up to make a big problem.

Think of life as a jar, pour lots of big rocks into it so that they are level with the neck, they\'re your main priorities, unfortunately only you can figure out what those ones need to be...

So life [the jar] is full at that yes?

No, get some smaller rocks, pour them in, they will fill the gaps between the bigger rocks, they\'re your opportunities, not as poignant but they are there, just hiding behind the big rocks.

So the jar is full now.

Wrong, pick up some sand, pour it in, that will fill the space between the little rocks, [i have no idea where i am going with this analogy :/], these are your problems, filling up and taking up all of your time and getting in the way and generally obscuring your little rocks and your big rocks.

I can\'t think of anything else to write now, all i can think of is rocks :angst:

But all you can do is stick it out, get some money built up then take the plunge, if you try and leave with no backup funds then you leave yourself open to other issues :(

I\'m fairly sure that this doesn\'t need saying... But whatever you do, don\'t resort to drinking or smoking, on a low wage that eats a hell of alot...

So matty, has this thread given you any insight and inspiration as to your long-term outlook?

>snip<

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Originally Posted by 0iD

So matty, has this thread given you any insight and inspiration as to your long-term outlook?

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I'm going into work tomorrow with my dad to have a sit down with his boss, so I'm gonna try my best to see if I can make anything of the "mechanic" route.

Emotive subject I know, but please, no more bickering, bitching, swearing etc, or we will start suspensions.

Back on topic please.

Thanks

If there's one single piece of advice I wish I'd listened to at your age; Don't waste opportunities. Looking back with the clarity of wisdom and age and saying, "I wish......" is painful.

SammEl - if you don't have anything constructive to say, then please keep quiet. And have a seven day suspension to think about it.

Matty, good to hear that you got to speak to your dad last night, I hope things go well for you today!

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Originally Posted by theanimus

or just made a series of very bad choices, often from not knowing any better, by not been aided by schooling or their family to actually better themselves.

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qft!

I know it's ugly, this thread.. but it IS useful

Matty me old mucker, what you gotta know is that WE (ie HEXUS mods and admin) actualyl care about you.

YOU... actually about YOU!

We're all very different though.. we all deal with stuff differently.. and so it's got complex in here.

All I can say is, I wish you well. I am very keen to hear about the mechanic route :)
Where does your Dad work?

Agree with Zak.

Sometimes, some people (Yes I mean you matty, dont take it the wrong way please), when annoyed dont think clearly and quite often snap, retaliate and react in ways and come across how they don't want to or intended to, and I kind of feel that is what has happened here with Matty, even so, it was good of Zak to apologise as I feel, personally that he wasn't particularly in the wrong.

But, thats old news. Matty, let us know how things go on please mate? But as Zak has said, everyone here cares about you, just as you care about people on here, even those people we may not like or agree with.

Hexus is like a big, world wide spread, slightly strange, slightly weird and ever so slightly (i mean literally the smallest amount) normal family. :p

Apart from that TAKTAK person, he has a weird thing for Panda's.

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Originally Posted by Zak33

Where does your Dad work?

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He works are Ford, and always has, so he has some pretty close ties to the people who work there.

I spoke to Mr. Steele this morning though, and he seemed pretty keen to get me to join up to work at Ford. He seen how well I worked on my 2 weeks works experience and everyone was pretty shocked at my ability when I was the only person to spot a fault that they'd all missed for 3 weeks. I also took in my CV and I'm going to get a reference from my current employer at Somerfield, and I can only really see that as being good, only been late once (because of the snow) and never been lazing about doing no work or anything. It does mean another year at college though, and then another 2 years learning as an apprentice at Ford (My dad's best mate at work said he would take me on). So looking at it that way, by the time I'm 21, providing I get everything sorted out, I could be a fully trained mechanic.

Matty thats awesome news mate, glad you took the opportunity to go and speak to Mr Steele and seems like you have a good plan and something to concentrate on.

Stick to it mate, even if the going gets tough.

I will speak to you on MSN tonight about the other stuff we spoke about last night as well :)