Quality local paper journalism

[Rave]

I don't usually bother to read the local freesheet, but my wife bunged it in the conservatory to use for cat litter tray lining, and I couldn't help but notice the front page story. Here it is:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/80...vedere_mother/

She says she only found it after her 15-month-old son, Rerelouwa, had drank some of the milk.

"had drank some of the milk". LOL- I'd be asking for a refund on your journalism degree there TBH.

Anyway: this is how modern milk production works. The cow's udders are cleaned quite carefully, then the automatic milking machine is attached. Worms, in my experience, tend not to climb up cows and attach themselves to the udder. After the milk has been extracted from the cow, it's taken in large tanks to a processing facility where it's carefully filtered, before being pasteurised, which involves heating it briefly to over 70C, in small tubes which are necessary for precise heat control. Then it's bottled in an automatic process.

“I saw some black particles floating in it

Hmm. Could possibly be mud?

The couple, who also have a two-year-old daughter

Oh. Oh right. There's absolutely no question that the worm was put there by the Co-Op then.

The 45-year-old, who is currently out of work

....and out of brains.

I get to bust these out so rarely:

[jackobyte]

on page 2 they are running a story of a worm who comitted suicide by jumping into a bottle of milk
investigations now show it may have been an assisted suicide and have arrested a suspected 2 year old on murder charges
breaking news.... tarantino now wants to make a hollywood film out of it... a follow up to reservoir dogs

[CaptainCrash]

The 45-year-old, who is currently out of work

Obviously not interested in any compo.

Yep, "currently out of work" is the giveaway, quite obviously a liar and a crook.

I know somebody who's out of work, and let me tell you he's a shady character and no mistake. When will the government crack down on these people?

[jim]

Yep, "currently out of work" is the giveaway, quite obviously a liar and a crook.

I know somebody who's out of work, and let me tell you he's a shady character and no mistake. When will the government crack down on these people?

I know a few, they've just been rounded up and shot. So I'm guessing that'll be this morning then.

[Rave]

Yep, "currently out of work" is the giveaway, quite obviously a liar and a crook.

I know somebody who's out of work, and let me tell you he's a shady character and no mistake. When will the government crack down on these people?

LOL fair point. Edited

[cptwhite_uk]

She added: “It disgusted me the shop said we could return it and get another one.”

For some reason I found that funny, the language suggesting their suggestion was on par with the holocaust or something.

[Lee H]

Oh the horror... a simple earth-worm

I bet her kids will eat worse when playing in the garden and they pick something up and stick it in their mouth

[Madafwo]

Oh the horror... a simple earth-worm

I bet her kids will eat worse when playing in the garden and they pick something up and stick it in their milk

Edited for you....