Story of my Skip filling

[Zak33]

Its been a week and I'm fit and healthy again...so its time to share.

Allow me to enlighten you to my world.

A: I decided to clear the mud pile out from behind my shed.
B: I asked the neighbour to put new fence up and I paid him.
C: He loaded all the soil from the holes for the fence into a large 1 cubic metre bag, which the recoverey people then couldn't reach with a crane....

leaving.....Zak with an imobile bag weighing several tons in his graden, ruined grass from repeated walking in the rain, and a mission.

D: Zakrents a skip and asks for it to be delivered on a Monday so he can fill it on Tues, his day off.

E: At 7:15 am, while walking his dogs, through warm early-summer fields, laughing and running, playing with his adorable dogs and throwing sticks, enjoying the toughts of a new garden and a happy life.....the SKIP MAN COMETH!

and the skip man plants the skip in front on Zak's car, blocking him in, and sods off leaving Matt to try to awaken his "ill in bed neighbours" at Dark O'Clock to go to work

F: Day off dawns, and Zak realises he owns NO WHEEL BARROW.....luckily man next door has already sussed that Matt is a clueless fool with little or no ability to plan...and has left it IN MY DRIVE with a nice "think you'll need this, big boy" letter in it :-)

G: Skip.....3 foot high.
H: Wheel barrow wheel.....12 inches round....
I: No plank (except the one stood there like a dolt, wondering "why me?".)

J: Zak makes a ramp from 3 sheets of ply wood and supports it with rally tyres and alloys.....and starts to dig.

K: Start time.....9:30 am
L: 11am....so tired might die.....big bag is empty now....12 trips with barrow, but now the digging starts.....behind the shed.

M: 2pm Zak decides to MEASURE the size of the skip and measure the size of the remaining mud heap....and compare....:-(

N: Neighbours witness tall tired bloke sat on top of skip, pondering life

O: Neighbours witness tall angered bloke jumping up and down on clay and rubbish to compress it.

P: 4:40......die...in hot bath....;-)

Why oh why do I do it to myself?

[tiggerai]

Poor Zak!

A little more planning might have been in order though!

[Tumble]

Good point... but then it wouldn't be nearly so funny would it?

Can't wait for Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,Y,Z & X

[IainB]

ROFLOL - Zak, you kill me
The joys of a little gardening
Tales of 'putting up new fence over bankholiday weekend' coming to a Hexus near you soon, heres hoping I dont give myself heat/sun stroke again

[TiG]

ROFL, I'd swear you should write a book.

The life and times of Zak - a journeyman's story

The preface would read something like ....

During his life Zak had many trials and tribulations to get through, always tackling them with sparkling insight, until the sad realisation set in that he wasn't able to keep his sand castle on the beach from being washed away by the waves. From this early age of 5 we could see that this unique person was going to be truely special

heheh
TiG

[Grey M@a]

reminds me of the time I was asked to dig a hole for a water fountain in a garden, they put lines down where they wanted it digging so 2 hours later and through numerous amounts of solid rock the hole is complete. They come back and decide they dont like the location and change it to another place, so i fill the other hole in and commence digging the new one in the new location. another hour or so later they change their minds back to the other location, at this point the profanities are spilling from my mouth

So hole is fillied in, and as the other one was previously dug up only took 20 mins to empty it once again. This time they come back with the wrong sodding fountain and the whole is 1/2 the size it should be, by this time and numerous hours later of being messed about, I am ready to start taking the pick axe and spade to the owners of the hole wondering how i could fit both of them in the same trench

I feel your pain zak, its an absolute nightmare, but I was rewarded with a crate of beer, so it wasn't to bad at the end of it

[Zak33]

.....until the sad realisation set in that he wasn't able to keep his sand castle on the beach from being washed away by the waves. From this early age of 5 we could see that this unique person.....

I KNEW leaving you on your own with my Mum and Dad was a bad plan....

WHAT THEY BEEN TELLIN YA ?

[turkster]

Oh dear! Sounds stressful

I have to say i'm impressed that you managed to make a plank capable of taking the weight of a wheelbarrow full of earth up to a 3 foot height out of bits of plywood. You'd normally have to use a big motherf****r of a plank to do that.

[steve threlfall]

Just reading this makes me tired

[Tumble]

was the wheelbarrow a bit tight in the gate fella??? or did ya knock a hole through the back of the garage??

[Butuz]

Your such an inspiration to me Zakky....!

(you inspire me to do things right!)



Butuz

[TiG]

I am just hoping that Zak didn't miss the fact that some Skips have got the drop down entrances so its easy to get the mud in till its half full I mean that truely would upset him now.

TiG

[Zak33]

oh no...NOW you say it

no...not drop side ...normal skip

Tumble..the gate was ok, but the little wall got a good kicking from 50 passes with a wheel barrow.....forget using an IL2 with bombs for mud moving...a badly steered Wheel barrow and 50 passes wrecks most walls

[RVF500]

rule of 'P's Zak m8 Prior Planning and Preparation Prevents P*ss Poor Performance

But look on the bright side. You are obviously not cut out for commercial hole digging so must therefore be destined for greater things.

[Dr. X]

hahaha, love the ominous "the skip man cometh"

[XTR]

hehehe.. poor zakky....