post natal depression

[lynni]

Im not pregnant and ive havent got a baby before people wonder

Posting this in here, cos its a more even balance of women and men reading the threads....

Currently at my clinic on placement, we have a 16 year old girl with a 6 week old baby on our books - she appears to be in a supportive loving relationship with the father (who is also 16)

But the poor girl is showing signs of post natal depression saw her last week at home, and she was very very 'shy, timid, quiet' didnt have much interest in the baby, the dad was running round after them.... making bottles up, trying to talk to us, cuddling the baby whilst she just sat there..... when we came away, we talked about the possibility of PND.

Today, they came to clinic for their baby to be weighed, again the father came in holding the baby, he undressed him, he put him on the scales..... let me just say at this point, this guy is in no way domineering towards her, hes a lovely lad and sooooo proud to be a father
But again she just sat there, and let him do all the work. Had to be encouraged/prompted to talk, the answers were closed and my mentor was constantly asking another question to get a better idea of what was going on


Was just wondering has anyone suffered from PND? or known anyone who has, what can we do to help make this girl feel better? i did speak to my mentor after clinic about her and she agreed that she thought she was depressed but never said what would be done about it

[Moonshade]

I've been depressed before, and I don't know what helped me out of it really..I think it was when I started to talk to a terapist for a while. Well, in the beginning I thought that everyone was being to concerned etc. I didn't thought I was being depressed, and I didn't think that I had something to talk about! But after a while when I repeated seeing her..suddenly I had a lot to talk about!!!
So I think that might help!

And I have a friend who gave birth to her daughter a year ago or something! And when she and her boyfriend found out about it they got all thrilled and happy And if you looked at them, you had no doubts at all about them becoming parents.
Before the birth she didn't think it'll be so complicated, since it was always there..her little baby. But after she gave birth to her daughter she kinda lost interest in it all, she realized that something wasn't quite right when everyone kept telling her she was so lucky, and that she was the best mother on earth..when she disagreed.
And she got scared, maybe I'm not a good mother! And she kept telling herself that until she believed in it. And she thought she didn't love her daughter, it seemd like others cared a lot more than herself. But still the relationship was good, but after awhile when she started to cry herself to sleep..she realized that something needed to be done!

She called her mother, which told her this:
"I had the same problem at start cos, when I first was pregnant with you I just though It'll be a pice of cake, but after the birth when you kept screaming at nights. I realized it wasn't that easy! And that was becasue I'd taken for granted that becoming a parent was easy and if you'd managed to survive the pregnancy then you'll survive everything else afterwards! But I didn't..and then I talked to your father and then we started to comfort each other whilst we read books n' stuff about babies. And then we managed it all."

And after that she started to reading a lot about babies, and started to talk to other "new" mothers. And now she's great She's happy and she really loves her daughter. And she can't believe she didn't before..or thought she didn't!

And since this girl you're talking about is young, only 16..maybe she wanted to become a mother at first but to find out later she didn't want to. Or maybe she's scared too, like my friend was..and might be afraid of hearing "I told you so!" or "What did I say?"..
I mean it's a proudness thing, you might wanna show your parents you can manage it on your own. Without asking for help or telling them that you're unsecure.

But try to talk to her, can't you see her once a week or something, in a couple of weeks (maybe even more..stuff like this takes time). That worked for me!
And after a while you will see some progress I hope!

Please tell me how it's developing..just if she's getting better or something, later on. (I know it'll take time) you have to be patient!

Well, I hope this post will help ya a bit! Tell me what you think!
And Good Luck with her!
If ya want to talk to me, for some reason at all! You can also send me a private mess.

//Moonshade

[Hidden Spirit]

Sorry Lynni, I don't really have much advice for her Can you tell me, do you know if she has computer/internet at home at all? If so I have a website (forum) that may be of a great help to her

[lynni]

yes i think i saw a computer in the house, when we went to visit... not sure tho :S they will have access to one no doubt, he goes to college

[Hidden Spirit]

pm'd ya