The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. --Jeff Foxworthy
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply
Approach both love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Never cut what you can untie.
It is best to remain silent and let one think you a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.
The first step in getting out of a hole, is to stop digging
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
I like feminists; I think they're cute.
The surest way to improve one's looks is to go into a chat room.
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
This website looks best when viewed on CompanyTime
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
Go out on a limb, you might like the view.
Happiness is not the absence of problems, but rather the ability to deal with them.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. -- Slovenian proverb
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Beauty : The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Beauty Parlor : A place where women curl up and dye.
Bank : A place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.
And finally,
Always remember,
Your computer may beat you in chess, but never in kickboxing!
Anyone have any 'gems' to share for the benefit of all?