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Thread: A question for those in a serious relationship.

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    A question for those in a serious relationship.

    When your other half is seriously down in the dumps and looks pretty cheesed off with a situation that you have no control over (in my case she is having issues with a sale of her flat in London) whats the best way to make sure she knows that 1) You will always be there for her no matter what and 2) You know it's not your fault that you can't change the situation but want to do something to help.

    The last few days she's stuck to me like glue and has not left my side at all (apart from now she has things she needs to sort out with her car and flat sale etc) and I'm getting ready for a halloween party in my flat that I don't really want and am being forced into wearing fancy dress for it Which is part of the reason she doesn't want to come - one of my flat mates has said its mandatory and the other has said its optional - sadly the person who said its mandatory is hard to say no to - its a bit like its his way or the high way etc - he's trying pretty much to get her to come and in that respect she's like me - push me too far and I'll push back the other way. She's worried that if she did come somebody would say the wrong thing to her and she would explode and considering its all people from work coming she makes a very good point.

    I'm sure that anyone who here has sold a house/flat knows how stressful that is when the buyer seems to be stalling on the purchase stating they are having issues with the lease holder when that same buyer has already bought 2 flats in the same block already. She does have on other issue, but thats been sorted by me (added her to my car insurance as a named driver so she can use my car if her current one fails its MOT and needs lots of money spending on it)

    I just want her to know that really whatever stress she's put under I am there for her and that I'm not going to add to her list of problems.

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    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Flowers/poetry/YouTube kitten videos.

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Did the flowers on Wednesday, she was bowled over

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Just daft little random things that she doesn't expect, things that you normally wouldn't do

    Breakfast in bed
    Choccies & Flowers
    Run a nice hot bath and put a few candles in there

    By doing things off the cuff should show her that you are thinking about her.

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    spa day, she got a best mate or sister? see if you can stretch it for the two of them?
    Gamertag - Russonf (xbox and ps3)

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Make her laugh, its funny what laughter can do for you and its not expensive, but it seems you have most bases covered.

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    When your with her and chatting away... somehow swing the conversation to when you first met. How you felt? How happy you were? How lucky you were? etc etc

    Will brighten her spirits

    P.s. Hope it gets sorted soon, never been in the position before. But obviously house/flat malarkey is always thorn in the backside.

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    You just gotta tell her sincerely buddy! Sit her down hold her hand and make her believe you when you tell her things will work out sometimes a night on the sofa with a light hearted film and perhaps a Chinese is all it takes

    Works with my missus anyway

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    stormrazer razer121's Avatar
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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    As others have said, an idea is also just take her out for a meal and express some "feelings" to her, cheers a women up any day do hope it gets sorted soon mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by TAKTAK View Post
    It was so small that mine wouldn't fit into it

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    tell her that!

    ...you could put it in a card that &post it to her (always nice to get unexpected post)

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Sounds to me like you're doing all you can as it is.

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    If her mind is in the wrong place it is a waste of time doing a spa day or meal out, the flat situation will be glued into her head. Agree with a previous comment sit her down and chat to her. It sounds like she is having a major "what if" syndrome, explore the "what if" chat to her about the worse case scenario, is it the end of the world if the buyer does pull out? It is the thought of the unknown and the out of her control part that is upsetting her.

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff I View Post
    Make her laugh, its funny what laughter can do for you and its not expensive, but it seems you have most bases covered.
    Got the laughter covered Geoff, I make her laugh every day Sometimes to the point where we are curled up with tears running down our faces.

    I collared her on Saturday night, sat her down, held her in y arms and just told her how much her being happy was importantto me over and above my own. Explained that no matter how much of a tough time she's going through I'll still be there for her on the other side and that I'm not going to run away at the first sign of trouble. Thats when she pointed out she was over joyed with me, and that she knows that everything I say I mean - unlike some of the men she has been with before she can actually take it as read that I mean what I say

    It was then at that point she said if we still felt the same about one another after xmas would I be prepared to take the next step and move in with her ! Was rather taken aback by that as I wasn't quite expecting that !! Still it seems I might be moving again after xmas then

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Listen.

    Let her vent, offer her feedback but most of all arrange situations where you can both talk - it's an amazing de-stresser.
    I've been in a serious relationship for about 19 years, 13.5 of those married, and there's really no substitution for good communication. One of my faves is just walking - instead of being stuck in front of the box say "lets go for a walk round the block" - we end up walking for 30-45mins, talking away and getting a much better idea of what's going on in each other's noggin. Simple things work best sometimes.

    Sound like your on the right track Best of luck to you both
    Crosshair VIII Hero (WIFI), 3900x, 32GB DDR4, Many SSDs, EVGA FTW3 3090, Ethoo 719


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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    We do indeed go out walking alot anyway, just a pitty the weather is so darn bad

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    Re: A question for those in a serious relationship.

    Relationships is such a funny word
    like angles that appear absurd
    some match - while others don't
    and some dont matter at all
    like puffs of smoke..


    m

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