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Thread: WAL-MART Job application :)

  1. #1
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    WAL-MART Job application :)

    Pure class:

    WAL-MART Job Application



    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas, ... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!



    NAME: George Martin

    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate).

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer, .... and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS:
    1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

    SIGN HERE: Sagittarius

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  2. #2
    XTR
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    Va-va-vooom
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    hahaha thats great Zak!!!


    I'd have loved to have seen your application form for the job your doing...



    *Disclaimer* - The contents of this message are not necessarily my own opinions,thoughts or views... they may belong to the voices in my head!

  3. #3
    Jigsawing Menace
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    Genius

    I have seen a similar McDonalds application form. I would love to have the bottle to apply for a job with those answers


  4. #4
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    older than that worn lonely single sock that you always find whilst rooting around your chest-of-drawers when you need a pair...

    but, as everyone knows .. the old ones are the best
    ------------------------------------
    information is not a property of matter, it's applied to matter by intelligence

  5. #5
    cs nub
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    SIGN HERE: Sagittarius
    thats a new one

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