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Thread: The real Christmas thread

  1. #17
    RIP Peterb ik9000's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by santa claus View Post
    Legolas, for the last time, do not bother me outside the workplace.
    erm, Elfs not Elves. Tolkein was careful to add a whole spiel in the prologue of LOTR about the difference between them. Legolas = a wood elve of the Eldar, quite distinct from the imp-like Elf's that you employ in your grotto. See, you don't even recognise the racial and ethnic background of your employees... this will not help you when it comes to your workers' tribunals.

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  3. #18
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ik9000 View Post
    erm, Elfs not Elves. Tolkein was careful to add a whole spiel in the prologue of LOTR about the difference between them. Legolas = a wood elve of the Eldar, quite distinct from the imp-like Elf's that you employ in your grotto. See, you don't even recognise the racial and ethnic background of your employees... this will not help you when it comes to your workers' tribunals.
    I do beg your pardon and in that case, thank you Dopey (nope, dwarf); thank you Tinkerbell (nope, fairy); thank you Gizmo (nope, gremlin); thank you Gutsy (nope, smurf) oh, fol-de-rol, all my stuff's made in Taiwan anyway.

  4. #19
    RIP Peterb ik9000's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by santa claus View Post
    I do beg your pardon and in that case, thank you Dopey (nope, dwarf); thank you Tinkerbell (nope, fairy); thank you Gizmo (nope, gremlin); thank you Gutsy (nope, smurf) oh, fol-de-rol, all my stuff's made in Taiwan anyway.
    so now you're refusing to refer to your workers by name, but only by race? FFS Santa what kind of bigot are you? And if you think the common man will believe Tinkerbell and Gizmo would demean themselves by stooping to hard-labour in your tinsel-town sweatshop you must be kidding yourself something special. And if you really have persuaded the Smurf union to work for you I hope you are fulfilling your employer's obligation to protect them from Dylan Moran... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY8d2cHYuB0

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    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    These workers are more trouble than use; I'm sacking the whole lot for the next 360 days. I was fed up with all the singing anyway and they were forever jingling bells. The smurfs always claimed they were getting a bad deal on account of being blue.

    Bah, short people, who needs 'em. I know they call me a fat barsteward behind my back too.

  6. #21
    Treasure Hunter extraordinaire herulach's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ik9000 View Post
    erm, Elfs not Elves. Tolkein was careful to add a whole spiel in the prologue of LOTR about the difference between them. Legolas = a wood elve of the Eldar, quite distinct from the imp-like Elf's that you employ in your grotto. See, you don't even recognise the racial and ethnic background of your employees... this will not help you when it comes to your workers' tribunals.
    I can't believe you're questioning Santa based on Tolkien. You really need to understand the difference between real life and fiction. Santa is real, lotr is made up

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  8. #22
    Ghost of Hexus Present sammyc's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Lol ik9000, brave man taking on santa, i don't like your chances for next year, you will be getting sock sandals..

    I'm still pondering what 0iD found surprising about a christmas thread by santa turning up in the middle of a heatwave wearing a grass skirt and dishing out rum punch = surprising for santa, "Merry Christmas from santa" /= surprising.

    Also Nipun is owed all santa's thanks imo, as the first hexite who bothered to wish anybody Happy Christmas, santa only muscled in to protect his monopoly* I feel Nipun is entitled to compensation of some sort.

    (*something else you may wish to look into, ik9000)

    And finally, CAT, that is last year's Christmoose. Just saying..

  9. #23
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by herulach View Post
    I can't believe you're questioning Santa based on Tolkien. You really need to understand the difference between real life and fiction. Santa is real, lotr is made up
    Such loyalty is so rare these days. I am touched. Boohoo .

    Quote Originally Posted by sammyc View Post
    Also Nipun is owed all santa's thanks imo, as the first hexite who bothered to wish anybody Happy Christmas, santa only muscled in to protect his monopoly* I feel Nipun is entitled to compensation of some sort.
    Nipun jumped in with a thread on Christmas Eve when I was out delivering presents. The real Christmas thread was posted by moi on Christmas day as soon as I got home and put the reindeers to bed.

    I demand first Christmas dibs around here by virtue of my generosity and large person flatulence.

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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    come on guys don't bother to fight about what is real thread and who wishes for real. What important is you wish from your heart sooner or later.
    if(lifeGivesYou == lemons){
    makeLemonade()
    }

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  12. #25
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nipun View Post
    come on guys don't bother to fight about what is real thread and who wishes for real. What important is you wish from your heart sooner or later.
    How dare you post in The Real Christmas thread. Hmph!

    Nipun - we're just having fun honest!

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    Moosing about! CAT-THE-FIFTH's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by sammyc View Post
    And finally, CAT, that is last year's Christmoose. Just saying..
    Christmoose are eternal.

  14. #27
    Ghost of Hexus Present sammyc's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by santa claus View Post
    I demand first Christmas dibs around here by virtue of my generosity and large person flatulence.
    I'm not quibbling about your dibs, Christmas or otherwise ; but given the state of the hexus seasonal spirit, if anyone offers me a flat shandy, a curling sandwich, or wishes me a Happy Christmas/Birthday/Retirement, I'm gonna thank them profusely for it. Everyone else can please themselves. Last panto dress rehearsals first thing Saturday - that'll wipe the festive smile off a few faces (and 'smile' is being generous tbh, miserable lot).

  15. #28
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by sammyc View Post
    and 'smile' is being generous tbh, miserable lot).
    Miserable? Everyone seems happy enough? :

  16. #29
    RIP Peterb ik9000's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Quote Originally Posted by santa claus View Post
    Miserable? Everyone seems happy enough? :
    unlike your elf's...

  17. #30
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    You seem very fond of elf kind ik9k. My guess is that you have gnomes in your garden at home. You do don't you?

  18. #31
    RIP Peterb ik9000's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Non monsieur j'deteste le gnome!

  19. #32
    ho! ho! ho! mofo santa claus's Avatar
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    Re: The real Christmas thread

    Aha! Tu est une gnome bigot mon ami. And you accused ol' santa. Despicable

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