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Thread: Erk! Could be dangerous...

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    The Jelly made me do it! Honoop's Avatar
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    Erk! Could be dangerous...

    Ok - so I start my new job in just over a week and a half and tonight I have had a phone call from my new boss inviting me to the Christmas party at my new company - EXCELLENT.... right??

    Except that its being held at a posh art gallery in Woburn........ I dont DO posh, in fact I CANT do posh!! Anyone who knows me can vouch for this, Im an Essex girl - nuff said!
    Thing is I cant not go, I wont let myself not go - it is a fantastic opportunity to get to know everyone - but boy oh boy does it have the potential of being a disaster?!

    Luckily I have an outfit worthy of such a swish bash, however I NEED to stay at least semi-sober. Because the more drunk I get, the LOUDER I get and I will be destined to make a complete ass of myself - proper Bridget Jones stylee.

    So I need tips, moral support and a list of interesting yet amusing things to talk to people about ....

    Help me Hexus!!!
    If you're not living on the edge, you take up too much room

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    Don't feed the trolls... tiggerai's Avatar
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    1 vino, 1 lemonade or orange juice.... repeat.

    (make sure you eat lots of pasta b4 going out to soak any rogue alcohol up!)

    and blimmin' enjoy it!

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    Xmas party in an art gallery, thats a bad idea surely?

    I'm sure u'll b fine duck, stay sober take a camera n just makde sure u get some decent pix of people making idiots of themselves

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    F.A.S.T. Butuz's Avatar
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    Just get really pissed, coz it doesnt matter whether you fit in or not, when your really pissed..... your just ...... really pissed and everyone will treat you as someone thats just really pissed, as opposed to someone whos posh or ..... an essex girl

    Thats my advice anyway

    Butuz

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    DR
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    Don't drink - maybe take it easy.

    Play it quiet too - then hear people moan about others etc, and you can find out what people really think ready for when you start.

    Also remember names - people love it.

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    HEXUS.social member Allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David
    Also remember names - people love it.
    Suave... You've been hanging around with too many company directors drinking too much champers!

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    Moving shadows... Zedmeister's Avatar
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    Oh no!

    If I remember, there's some weird art gallery etiquette you have to abide by:
    1) Air kissing - you must move to kiss each other cheeks but must never touch for fear of contagion
    2) You must refer to everyone by calling them "Darling"
    3) The clothes you wear must be highly colourful and absurd
    4) You can only eat Canape
    5) You must ask about the fat content of the food
    6) Whilst talking, it is customary to look over the shoulder of the person you are talking to - this is to see if you can see anyone looking more important/less boring to talk to



    Joking aside, careful about getting too trollied. Last thing you want to do, is do something embarressing and be forced to leave work because you can't face your colleagues.

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    mutantbass head Lee H's Avatar
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    heh.. posh parties are great. Just go and be yourself and enjoy it. Don't act just because of the environment and people around, be yourself and I'm sure everything will be fine.

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    The Jelly made me do it! Honoop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerai
    1 vino, 1 lemonade or orange juice.... repeat.

    (make sure you eat lots of pasta b4 going out to soak any rogue alcohol up!)

    and blimmin' enjoy it!
    ^^ Good plan - thanks tiggerai.

    Quote Originally Posted by David
    Play it quiet too - ..........................................

    Also remember names - people love it.
    ^^ Names I can do, quiet is a bit more difficult!

    Thanks everyone....
    If you're not living on the edge, you take up too much room

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    Aye quiet should be fun for ya

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    www.evilmunky.com EvilMunky's Avatar
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    Dont fart in front of your new boss!

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    The Jelly made me do it! Honoop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [GSV]Trig
    Aye quiet should be fun for ya
    Haha! I can be quiet....

    no really, I can - if the occasion calls for it... ok maybe quietER not actually quiet!!!
    But then Im not entirely sure exactly what it is ur implying!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMunky
    Dont fart in front of your new boss!
    ^^ Its ok, I dont do farting - Im a laideeeeee!!
    If you're not living on the edge, you take up too much room

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    Quote Originally Posted by Honoop
    Haha! I can be quiet....

    no really, I can - if the occasion calls for it... ok maybe quietER not actually quiet!!!
    But then Im not entirely sure exactly what it is ur implying!!
    I'm implying that u cant be quiet, whatelse would I be implying....

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    Rob
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honoop
    So I need tips, moral support and a list of interesting yet amusing things to talk to people about ....

    Never wear anything that panics the cat


    *gets coat*

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    dont just remember peoples names...use them.

    Touch the odd arm here and there, while talking. Use the back of your hand, or back of your fingers, so its not a caress, just a friendly nudge.

    Talk about what they do AFTER work, and of they go out together much or not. Bound to be a few tales to tell then

    Laugh at yourself on non work related issues, but be 100% on anything work or office related.....dont want anyone looking for weakness on first day.

    and after ALL that...you'll get, there, realise they are all people with normal lives and suddenly not need any of that advice

    good luck..you wont need it

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

  16. #16
    No more Mr Nice Guy. Nick's Avatar
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    My advice...

    DON'T snog the first bloke that looks half decent

    DON'T drink too much

    DON'T go commando

    DON'T suggest a club afterwards

    or a kebab

    DO smile, act shy and flash lots of cleavage...

    Job done.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dareos View Post
    "OH OOOOHH oOOHHHHHHHOOHHHHHHH FILL ME WITH YOUR.... eeww not the stuff from the lab"

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