Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Joke Time :-)

  1. #1
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    I'm a Jessie
    Posts
    34,494
    Thanks
    2,757
    Thanked
    2,842 times in 1,747 posts
    • Zak33's system
      • Storage:
      • Kingston HyperX SSD, Hitachi 1Tb
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Nvidia 1060
      • PSU:
      • Coolermaster 800w
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Fortress FT01
      • Operating System:
      • Win10
      • Internet:
      • Zen FTC uber speedy

    Joke Time :-)

    ZAK WARNING: while its not RUDE....its in quite bad taste, as it refers to Drink Driving.

    Sorry....it needs showing though. It IS funny.




    From the State where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland (USA)

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test. To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this breath-analyser equipment must be broken.

    I doubt it, said the man, tonight I'm the designated decoy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

  2. #2
    Sublime HEXUS.net
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    The Void.. Floating
    Posts
    11,819
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked
    233 times in 160 posts
    • Stoo's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Mac Pro
      • CPU:
      • 2*Xeon 5450 @ 2.8GHz, 12MB Cache
      • Memory:
      • 32GB 1600MHz FBDIMM
      • Storage:
      • ~ 2.5TB + 4TB external array
      • Graphics card(s):
      • ATI Radeon HD 4870
      • Case:
      • Mac Pro
      • Operating System:
      • OS X 10.7
      • Monitor(s):
      • 24" Samsung 244T Black
      • Internet:
      • Zen Max Pro
    LOL, poor taste, but still amusing
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  3. #3
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    I'm a Jessie
    Posts
    34,494
    Thanks
    2,757
    Thanked
    2,842 times in 1,747 posts
    • Zak33's system
      • Storage:
      • Kingston HyperX SSD, Hitachi 1Tb
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Nvidia 1060
      • PSU:
      • Coolermaster 800w
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Fortress FT01
      • Operating System:
      • Win10
      • Internet:
      • Zen FTC uber speedy
    sorry..I know its a bit off, but it is funny

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

  4. #4
    iMc
    iMc is offline
    Senior Member iMc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Northants
    Posts
    3,616
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    its not that off imo. funny stuff.

    are they doing some more drink driving ads on tele this year?
    HEXUS|iMc

  5. #5
    HEXUS webmaster Steve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bristol
    Posts
    14,269
    Thanks
    286
    Thanked
    829 times in 469 posts
    • Steve's system
      • CPU:
      • Intel i3-350M 2.27GHz
      • Memory:
      • 8GiB Crucial DDR3
      • Storage:
      • 320GB HDD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Intel HD3000
      • Operating System:
      • Ubuntu 11.10
    I read that quite some time ago... 'tis rather funneh.
    PHP Code:
    $s = new signature();
    $s->sarcasm()->intellect()->font('Courier New')->display(); 

  6. #6
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    great!
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  7. #7
    Monkey Apex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Huddersfield
    Posts
    4,270
    Thanks
    751
    Thanked
    154 times in 95 posts
    • Apex's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus Z87M-PLUS
      • CPU:
      • Intel i5-4670K
      • Memory:
      • 16 GiB
      • Storage:
      • 6.0 TiB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • R9 480X
      • PSU:
      • 750
      • Case:
      • Node 804
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 64Bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell U2410 24"
      • Internet:
      • 200Mb nTL Cable
    Classic



  8. #8
    Goron goron Kumagoro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    3,003
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked
    140 times in 113 posts
    Jeremy Beadle has a small cock. On the other hand, it's pretty big.

  9. #9
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    nasty...but funny
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  10. #10
    Cable Guy Jonny M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Loughborough Uni
    Posts
    4,263
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    4 times in 1 post
    Quote Originally Posted by Kumagoro
    Jeremy Beadle has a small cock. On the other hand, it's pretty big.
    HAHAHA, aww man I'm crying here

  11. #11
    Raging Bull DeludedGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    London
    Posts
    2,594
    Thanks
    112
    Thanked
    76 times in 55 posts
    • DeludedGuy's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte H87M-HD3
      • CPU:
      • Core i5 4440
      • Memory:
      • 8GB DDR3 1800mhz
      • Storage:
      • 250GB Samsung 840 SSD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Gigabyte R9 270 OC 2GB
      • PSU:
      • BeQuiet Pure Power L8 600w
      • Case:
      • Silverstone TJ08-E
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7
      • Monitor(s):
      • 24" Dell U2414H
      • Internet:
      • 75Mb BT Infinity
    that was so so

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. It's Bargain Sound Card time
    By Zak33 in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 16-09-2004, 12:40 PM
  2. Cat among the pigeons time....
    By Nick in forum PC
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 19-06-2004, 05:58 PM
  3. losing time
    By 5cupa in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-12-2003, 03:28 AM
  4. long time player; first time forum
    By PubZombie in forum PC
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 06-11-2003, 07:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •