Saturday joke

[Zak33]

A bloke is out walking his dog and gets talking to another bloke

He says "hold up.. gotta let the dog off the lead.. he needs to take a leak" and lets the dog off and they carry on chatting

the dog walks up the nearest wall... sniffs it... then goes up on his two hind legs and walks up to the wall.. puts his front paws on the wall and takes a slash!

The second bloke looks on amazed.. and says "Wow... that's the oddest thing... how long has he done that?"

and the dog owner shrugs and says "since a wall fell on him!"

[Zak33]

and another.. in case you missed it...

a blonde walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre


so the barman gives her one....

[chuckskull]

I've been trying to to use less sexual innuendos...

But it's very hard.

[kalniel]

Fewer!

[peterb]

Man walks into a bar....





Ouch, it was made of iron

[Gerrard]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...


Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

[b0redom]

So I met a musical fish today. Turns out he was a piano tuna. Then I met his cousin. He was a double bass.

[santa claus]

Owls never make love on rainy days.

It's too wet to woo.

[Ferral]

A pirate walks into a pirate bar and notices that the pirate barman has a ship steering wheel down his trousers, he asks the barman why and he replies


Arrrrr, Its driving me nuts!

[peterb]

The government are going to nationalise crime,

it's the only way to guarantee crime won't pay.

[wasabi]

Just Called Owl Watch to report a missing Owl.

If you see him please call them on 028 280 28 28 20

[Phage]

Can't remember if I posted this before...

Two humpback whales walk into a pub. The first whale splashes up to the bar and says "OOOOOOOEEEEEEEEoooooooAAAAAAEEEEEeeeeoooooMMMM"
The second whale joins him
"Shut up Frank. You're drunk."

[Gerrard]

Just Called Owl Watch to report a missing Owl.

If you see him please call them on 028 280 28 28 20

Not a joke, but I'm pretty certain that number (the last 6 anyway) used to be an insurance company based on an owl; can't remember which one though as it's been years since I've seen it.

[Tumble]

2 parrots were sat on a perch. One of them says "Can you smell fish?"

What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Swedes...

[Tropheus]

I brought the wife a wooden leg for Christmas

I told her not to worry its only a stocking filler