What has England come to ?

[csgohan4]

An article from the bbc here describes an angry parent invoicing another parent for their child not attending a birthday party.

I am not sure if it was a joke or not but, really??? Is this what it has come to? Money before friends?

The fact the BBC posted something like this is another thing entirely, worthy of being in the 'Daily Mail' or 'The Sun'.

The poor bday child will now not have many people turning up to any future Birthdays and be made fun of now. Parent's clearly taking 'The principle' too far.

People not turning up to Birthday parties is common. Sure it's common courtesy to let the other person know, but in real life it doesn't always happen. Remember stuff happens and it may not be possible all the time.

[kalniel]

Do you think they're representative of the typical English parent though?

[csgohan4]

Do you think they're representative of the typical English parent though?

Difficult to say, but the PC answer is no. And what do you mean by Typical? Based on class, region, age, occupation?

[kalniel]

Difficult to say, but the PC answer is no. And what do you mean by Typical? Based on class, region, age, occupation?

Typical to the point where you can say what England is coming to, as opposed to say an exception.

[Ferral]

Very strange.

With our kids growing up even some of their best friends from school or out playing didn't always turn up for parties and at other times some turned up that they barely even knew. You just roll with it, as long as the kids have fun at their party all should be good in the world.

[b0redom]

The bit that's missing from the story is that the parent in question had forked out £15.95 per head for a skiing session for the party. Furthermore, the parents had all the contact details and it wasn't a last minute thing, apparently they'd double booked time with grandparents.

I can see why she'd be fed up at not being told the child wasn't going to attend. Not sure I'd have invoiced, but.....

[csgohan4]

Typical to the point where you can say what England is coming to, as opposed to say an exception.

probably an exception but from a factual geographical point view, perhaps a title of 'What is Plymouth coming to'? but still in England.

however if you want to go there, then do you not think the culture of blame and selfishness is creeping into the society at present? Perhaps hiding behind 'Principle' but what they really after is self righteousness/ pedantic nature and ability to depict this by pointing out failures of others and building a mountain out of a mole hill.

In effect, rather working with others, they would rather accuse and rage before compromising or tree hug

[csgohan4]

The bit that's missing from the story is that the parent in question had forked out £15.95 per head for a skiing session for the party. Furthermore, the parents had all the contact details and it wasn't a last minute thing, apparently they'd double booked time with grandparents.

I can see why she'd be fed up at not being told the child wasn't going to attend. Not sure I'd have invoiced, but.....

Both sides are wrong for sure and both sides have their own stories as well.

But the worse thing is in the middle of this, is the children who will be forever ostracised and made of fun of because of this all because grown adults have a point to prove and are stubborn and ironically childish about it.

[b0redom]

Agreed.

[kalniel]

however if you want to go there, then do you not think the culture of blame and selfishness is creeping into the society at present?

I think we've heard the same thing for years now - from not admitting fault at a traffic accident to fears of overly litigious parents at the school nativity. I think sometimes it's a bit much, but I've thought that for years now, I don't think it's really increasing of late particularly.

Perhaps hiding behind 'Principle' but what they really after is self righteousness/ pedantic nature and ability to depict this by pointing out failures of others and building a mountain out of a mole hill.

In effect, rather working with others, they would rather accuse and rage before compromising or tree hug

*shrugs* I could read it as a parent wanting to ask for a contribution towards costs incurred (that could have been avoided) but lacking the social skills to do so, thus using a formal way of doing it as a template. It's not the best solution by far, but I know a lot of people with Aspergers say who could probably only deal with things in that way. I just don't know without more information what's the case.

[herulach]

The original r/uklegaladvice post is quite interesting, particularly how fast it appears to have escalated:
http://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceU...y_son_for_not/

Its also an interesting exercise in social media studies comparing this reddit thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdo...oshow_invoice/

With the helen lovejoy appreciation society comments on the same issue:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2...-show-to-party

Personally I think both sets are a bunch of muppets who are fit for nothing but being mildly amusing

[csgohan4]

I think we've heard the same thing for years now - from not admitting fault at a traffic accident to fears of overly litigious parents at the school nativity. I think sometimes it's a bit much, but I've thought that for years now, I don't think it's really increasing of late particularly.

*shrugs* I could read it as a parent wanting to ask for a contribution towards costs incurred (that could have been avoided) but lacking the social skills to do so, thus using a formal way of doing it as a template. It's not the best solution by far, but I know a lot of people with Aspergers say who could probably only deal with things in that way. I just don't know without more information what's the case.

Valid points, but the fact is, your judged by your actions not by what you meant but just couldn't communicate it. One parent ran to the press to avoid responsibility while the other gave an invoice over something so petty it could harm both their children.

Sometimes I feel people do things without looking at the cause and effect. You drink alcohol, get pissed and rage on a flight with Boris Johnson, you deserve the book thrown at you. But then we are an emotional species and we do alot of things with emotion whether clouded by substances or not.

As you say, you cause an RTA and it's your fault, your insurers pay and you lose your NCB and pay more premiums.

The other thing is we a race often moan and moan and whinge. We seldom hear about the good things people do, more often the bad or allegedly bad things people do. We always remember the bad colleague who didn't do x,y,z never the good coleague who helped you out with this and that.

In fact when your on top, you won't even notice the people below untill you see what you have stepped on.

So going on a tangent, I think we are a selfish and greedy species who take pleasure in telling people what to do and that we are always right. I often wondered are we as a species that destined to be forever in a rat race and forget those who help us on the way up.

Is greed what really makes the world go round and what we aim for either directly or indirectly. Would the homeless guy, given millions of pounds end up being that jerk we know who steps on the poor and shows off their wealth??

[csgohan4]

The original r/uklegaladvice post is quite interesting, particularly how fast it appears to have escalated:
http://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceU...y_son_for_not/

Its also an interesting exercise in social media studies comparing this reddit thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdo...oshow_invoice/

With the helen lovejoy appreciation society comments on the same issue:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2...-show-to-party

Personally I think both sets are a bunch of muppets who are fit for nothing but being mildly amusing

Read the reddit forum on that and seems the mother is on there. However she explains she only put it out to the local newspaper which spread without their consent.

But to be honest what did they expect? People want to ridicule something in the news and this was one thing to read about and give a penny to the local papers.

She then goes on to say it wasn't her idea and her husband went ahead with going to the papers and BBC. Lol deplorable, parents must take responsibility as whole, not to palm it and blame it on the other half.

[Zak33]

the BBC sadden me recently with the dire lack of quality journalism

[DanceswithUnix]

I hope the kids involved become close friends under the banner of "our parents are so embrassing".

You get a few no-shows, you get a few shows where the reply went missing so you assumed they weren't coming. Doing a kids party is pretty stressful, but you have to roll with it.

My only worry with kids parties was that hardly anyone would show up. That must be pretty unlikely on the bell curve of probability, but it must be possible.

[wasabi]

Surely the salient point about England is that we find this whole episode a point of ridicule. Which is kind-of assuring.