OK I'm going to post this, I hope the wording is understandable and somehow relatable.
I've been using some Rakia as cold medicine. I no longer feel like I've a cold, so I can only assume it's working, as it's home made I've no idea what strength it is, I'd guess it's about 55%, you can light it, and I don't think it's 60%. Cures the throat itch.
As many hexites know I've a slightly unusual mind, I'm marred with dyslexia/dysgraphia, but I've other aspects that are rather exceptional as far as our best testing can show. The downside is sometimes I get almost crushed by where my mind runs. I see paths, weighted paths, things that can happen, things that really probably won't happen. I can solve certain problems as easily as many can say "that is blue" the path, the solution is clear. I've spent a long time in research labs, being a guinea pig as I support such ethos that we get from such research, I know that on paper I'm a special little snowflake, and we are not talking just in the top percentile with these attributes.
This whole situation weighs me down. The problem is I feel overwhelmed by a series of possibilities that are anemic to certain moral values I still wish to cling to. I can't begin to explain how bad this can feel, I can't shut off this kind of analysis, please understand I set records when being analysed by therapists when it comes to certain kinds of spacial reasoning, I was granted money for being dyslexic, and for abilities to play with cubes that are half red and half white making simple geometric forms. Reality isn't what we tell children it will be.
I can see no solutions that are workable. The only solutions, one of which will play out, involve mass death... I hate this. I understand the behaviour of these actors, I realise the history. I try to draw parallels with say the troubles but honestly no one is willing to fund a violence abatement force (rightly or wrongly in NI the army and the police did prevent violence overall if we ignore the implementation details).
I hate this so much. I have no optimism, I feel the adage of least worst solution doesn't begin to do justice, we will see the deaths of millions, regardless of any actions we take or do not take we will foster resentment. Too much of the problem stems from a cultural sense of political immutability.
Frankly in the grand scheme bombing Syria or not will have little impact, it's all grim either way, I find this thread in part to be the debate about how to shuffle the deck chairs on the titanic, wahhabism and salafism are about to have their day. I hope their god has mercy on their soles.