Best Spam you've had?

[Zak33]

Lo people

HEXUS towers has some AMAZING spam arive inbound daily!

I mean... top class to utter dross.

How about these?
"Wow - my 91 year old grandma suddenly looks 48-in these-photos: It has to be seen"
and
"Your Family is in Danger (leaked report)"
and unsettlingly
"281 Million Americans Dead In The Next 6 Months"

but my favourite (we get this a lot)
"Over 12k All-New, Step-by-Step Shed-Building Guides."


Gootta love a SHED! But 12,000 of them... pur-lease!!

do you get ANYTHING this good?

[Ttaskmaster]

The best spam I get is from the supermarket... Did you know, they do spam with bacon and cheese, now!!

[Dashers]

This is clearly a ploy by spammers to make me go and read my junk mail folder.

[spacein_vader]

Nothing particularly unusual or interesting, just the usual stuff offering to make my wallet smaller or something near my wallet bigger.

[Saracen]

The only interest I have in spam is whether something non-spam got filtered by mistake. Actual spam, in my view, is suitable only for fuelling the fires in the 7th Circle of Hell, that being the one spammers, without exception, will find themselves in about 3 nanoseconds after God abdicates and gives me the job.

Politicians, by the way, are in the 6th Circle, which pretty much tells you what I think of politicians .... and that, contrary to popular opinion, there are lower forms of life.

Wassat? How many circles in total? Why, seven of course ..... but the lower ones, including 6 and 7, are pretty big. Which is pretty fortunate given my extensive list of candidates.

Not that I am expecting the job any time soon, but I have mentioned it, ummm, a time or two, in my communications to God.

Which might be why She seems to be ignoring me.

[Dashers]

I have noticed that the bulk of my spam recently is German language. Which is reasonably new to me. As I don't speak German, it's even easier to ignore.

[Ttaskmaster]

Wassat? How many circles in total? Why, seven of course ..... but the lower ones, including 6 and 7, are pretty big. Which is pretty fortunate given my extensive list of candidates.

No offense, chap... but perhaps the reason you didn't get the job is because there are NINE circles of Hell.
Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud and finally Treachery.

Ya gotta know the basics to have a hope in Hell of getting the job...

[MLyons]

Users asking me for features then deciding they like the old version better when finished.

[peterb]

Users asking me for features then deciding they like the old version better when finished.

Youv'e got to try before you buy!

[Saracen]

No offense, chap... but perhaps the reason you didn't get the job is because there are NINE circles of Hell.
Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud and finally Treachery.

Ya gotta know the basics to have a hope in Hell of getting the job...

When I'm God, it'll be 7. I'm excluding lust and gluttony or I might, ummm .... be in a smidge of bother.

Now, where'd I put my lightning bolts?

Oh bother, not got 'em yet. You're safe for a while.

[peterb]

Now, where'd I put my lightning bolts?

Oh bother, not got 'em yet. You're safe for a while.

You can borrow some of mine if you like

[CAT-THE-FIFTH]

Fried with egg and chips.

[Lucio]

I think I have a winner here

The sender is listed as "Kate Winslet" and the text runs

"Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again. But I just miss you and I wish you were a better man. And I know why you had to say goodbye. I just want to know is it "I miss you" or "I missed you" ?? this question is always puzzling me.

Frankly, it's a fantastic piece of psychology in action right there, heck even though I know it's spam, if that'd come with a bit of spear-phising targeting masquerading as an ex, it would make a lot of men respond.

[Ttaskmaster]

When I'm God, it'll be 7. I'm excluding lust and gluttony or I might, ummm .... be in a smidge of bother.

Definitely won't be getting the job, then. Can't even be the Lord of Hell, I'm afraid - You have to be pure, or at least angelic.

I just want to know is it "I miss you" or "I missed you" ?? this question is always puzzling me.

Both persons are either still alive, or at least present in some plane or other. Kate Winslet certainly exists so anything she is feeling, for whomever she is addressing, is in the present tense. Also, the rest of her sentence is present tense, else she'd be wishing you had been a better man.
Therefore is is "I miss you".

if that'd come with a bit of spear-phising targeting masquerading as an ex, it would make a lot of men respond.

If they'd been successful in their spear-phishing, they'd know no ex would ever contact me... probably in fear of getting grammatical correction like the above!!

[Saracen]

Definitely won't be getting the job, then. Can't even be the Lord of Hell, I'm afraid - You have to be pure, or at least angelic.

....!

But God is Omnipotent, and more than capable of deciding to exercise a "Don't do as I do, do as I tell you" rationale. Or, should She feel inclined, changing the rules. It is, after all, a woman's perogative, to change Her mind.

Or do you feel able to tell God what She can and can't do? If so, I think I detect the early signs of construction of a 10th Level.

[Ttaskmaster]

But God is Omnipotent

Says who, exactly...?

more than capable of deciding to exercise a "Don't do as I do, do as I tell you" rationale.

Is that why she is losing followers?

Or do you feel able to tell God what She can and can't do? If so, I think I detect the early signs of construction of a 10th Level.

She is welcome to throw her childish tantrums and try to get all vengeful about it... Crom is my god and he will laugh at her from his mountain!!