Why do women live longer?

[0iD]

Why do men die first?



This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but, NOW we know .....

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay....... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay..... you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her..... that is favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you...... it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks...... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet.......... it's male indifference.

If you cry............ you're a wimp.
If you don't........ you're an insensitive b**tard.

If you make a decision without consulting her......... you're a Chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you...... she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If she asks you......... it's a favour.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...... you're a pervert.
If you don't.............. you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you try to keep yourself in shape................ you're vain.
If you don't................ you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers............. you're after something.
If you don't.................... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.
If you're not.................... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............ she's tired.
If you have a headache............. you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often......... you're oversexed.
If you don't.......... there must be someone else.

So.... Men die first because they want to! OK

[Stewart]

If you make a decision without consulting her......... you're a Chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you...... she's a liberated woman.

So true.

[EvilMunky]

Why do women live longer?

Its obvious - men choose to die first! They get worn down!

[Zedmeister]

It would be a good joke if it wasn't so true...

[cyzmyass]

cos they get more sleep ;p

[shiato storm]

quite simply, time wasters for a majority of their existence.
men shopping: get in, find bargain, purchase, get out. military precision, less faff more action - get home and do more useful stuff than be around chavs in a shop!
girls shopping: wander in look around, head to nearest shelves, ponder colours and sizes a bit decide 'nope', meander a bit to the left to next array of expensive clothing...this process is repeated until an appropriately expensive dress/shirt/item reaches a required price point (usually very high) and is then taken to the dressing room for testing. testing takes 30mins at the very least, perhaps longer, often resulting in failure...if a product is chosen a walk to the cash till is interupted by further selecting and trying's on...
am I not correct?

[Zedmeister]

quite simply, time wasters for a majority of their existence.
men shopping: get in, find bargain, purchase, get out. military precision, less faff more action - get home and do more useful stuff than be around chavs in a shop!
girls shopping: wander in look around, head to nearest shelves, ponder colours and sizes a bit decide 'nope', meander a bit to the left to next array of expensive clothing...this process is repeated until an appropriately expensive dress/shirt/item reaches a required price point (usually very high) and is then taken to the dressing room for testing. testing takes 30mins at the very least, perhaps longer, often resulting in failure...if a product is chosen a walk to the cash till is interupted by further selecting and trying's on...
am I not correct?

You forgot to add: Put boyrfriend/husband on spot by asking potentially life threatening questions such as "Does this fit me?" "Have I put on weight" "Do I look fat" where any attempt at an answer will be mis-understood, leading to sharp intakes of breath, moods, crying, more crying and no sex for at least a month...

[JK Ferret]

damn true

[autopilot]

Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......

Actually it's not unanswered. Men hearts degenerate but womans hearts are much stronger and don't degenerate.

Or have i missed the point of the thread completely?

[JK Ferret]

on a more serious note, its because men are misunderstood and/or die of heartbreak trying to get one...

http://forums.hexus.net/showthread.php?t=36405

[cyzmyass]

men have more stress to deal with like going to war and stuff so their hearts give in quicker.

[Honoop]

Oh quit whining you bunch of jessies!!

Its a good thing you lot die before us - that way we get to spend your life savings once you're gone - we're not entirely stupid you know!

[TiG]

Sorry you forgot the reason we died first is because of our 18 year old mistresses we had on the side, who now are named in the will instead of you hehe.

TiG

[shiato storm]

Actually it's not unanswered. Men hearts degenerate but womans hearts are much stronger and don't degenerate.

Or have i missed the point of the thread completely?

its again down to the fact that men DO more...heart is used more and hence 'wears out faster'. hopefully by the time mine does I wont care anymore and will have had a good run of things. I'll post back here just before I do to review my findings...

Its a good thing you lot die before us - that way we get to spend your life savings once you're gone - we're not entirely stupid you know!

which is why I fully intend spending mine beofre anyone else does !

[tiggerai]

Oh quit whining you bunch of jessies!!

Its a good thing you lot die before us - that way we get to spend your life savings once you're gone - we're not entirely stupid you know!

Got it in one. Isn't that the reason women go for older men too?
So we've got longer to spend it!

[0iD]

Luckily my wife didn't find out I was financially inept till it was too late!